141: Everybody get all aboard, We’re gonna snark on the Straight Dope Board, And if that Straight Dope Board don’t durp, We’re gonna retrosnark until we urp

[Someone]

Let's be fair here. You can't seriously expect the center of the universe to be concerned with a microscopic detail like human life.

[Someone]

Keep anyone who'd find deadly industrial accidents "fascinating" way the fuck away from me Who cares where the hell it happened; that's a human life ending that you're drooling over

[Someone]

I wonder if Stoid knows about the "Faces Of Death" video series, or if she prefers the mondo documentaries.

I will say this: The Internet's proven definitively that most people don't want the kinds of stuff the hand-wringing moral crusaders of the early cable TV era were convinced people would start demanding. Kinda makes the people who thought we'd be watching literal gladiatorial death sports by now look a bit... suspect... themselves.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Keep anyone who'd find deadly industrial accidents "fascinating" way the fuck away from me Who cares where the hell it happened; that's a human life ending that you're drooling over

right?
I am icked out just knowing such videos exist let alone someone wants to watch them.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Let's be fair here. You can't seriously expect the center of the universe to be concerned with a microscopic detail like human life.

She’s just so much more real and authentic than us mere peons.

[Someone]

An innocent victim of her own tumultuous emotions. Such a tragedy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Actually, it won't. Using a debit card without permission is criminal, but failure to honor a promissory note is civil. Once you get that contract in place, you have to go to a small claims court or hire WV's weeniest lawyer or one of his ilk.

That was the joke.

Although the thought of getting UV involved does add an extra bit of chuckle to it...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"Help, my sister-in-law-to-be stole from me as she somehow gained possession of my debit card and PIN, which only my wife-to-be and I know, but my wife-to-be couldn't possibly have been an accomplice!"

It occurred to me that “only my fiancée and I know it” doesn’t necessarily mean the PIN isn’t something stupid easy to guess like Superdude’s birth date. It just means that he and his fiancée are the only ones that know his PIN is his birth date.

I guess that doesn’t really make it any better, though, just a different way in which the scenario is dumb.

[Someone]

Weird side of a person who absolutely freaked out over a video of a cop shooting a dog dead in the street.

[Someone]

This from the same cold blooded psycho who laughs at videos of people getting killed. A real sweetheart alright.

[Someone]

These two posts deserve to be on the same page, lest anyone miss the connection:

Originally Posted by Someone

Weird side of a person who absolutely freaked out over a video of a cop shooting a dog dead in the street.

Originally Posted by Someone

Stoid is fascinated by deadly workplace accident videos.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho...videos/932548?

[Someone]

The vids she's talking about are reposted in a lot of subreddits that I follow. It's not so much (for me) about a fascination with death, but more of a fascination with inbred idiots who do incredibly stupid things like setting off fireworks from their butthole. The industrial accidents are hard to watch -- so I don't -- because more often than not it's due to greed and apathy of the employer that deadly conditions exist and those poor fuckers were just trying to earn a living.

r/holdmybeer, though, that's a goldmine of jaw-dropping stupidity.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

... inbred idiots who do incredibly stupid things like setting off fireworks from their butthole...

Seriously, that's right up there with using gorilla glue for hair gel. Never underestimate the stupidity of a Millennial influencer.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The industrial accidents are hard to watch -- so I don't -- because more often than not it's due to greed and apathy of the employer that deadly conditions exist and those poor fuckers were just trying to earn a living.

Yeah, some of the responses in the derp thread (stoid's) are pretty snarkworthy for presuming that it most be something wrong with people in other countries somehow just being more stupid/less caring than in the US. Couldn't possibly be the effect of lax regulations which, once upon a time, was typical in the US, and which a certain political party are seeking once more to return us to.

No. It's all about "personal responsibility" and "caring about people" or words to that effect.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This from the same cold blooded psycho who laughs at videos of people getting killed. A real sweetheart alright.

All horror fans know that killing people is just business as usual. But killing a dog is beyond the pale.

[Someone]

AFter showing a modicum of common sense in the Superdude and recent political threads, asahi is once again being a blibbering idjit. He's defending Gina Carano, who was fired by Lucasfilm/Disney for comparing the treatment of Republicans post-election to the plight of the Jews during the Holocaust. She also has a history of transphobia and being a maskhole. According to asahi, this merely constitutes "saying something stupid" and all she needs is to apologize and all is forgiven; she only got fired because of "cancel culture."



She must make his wiener hard. That's the only plausible explanation I can see.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Seriously, that's right up there with using gorilla glue for hair gel. Never underestimate the stupidity of a Millennial influencer.

"Cinnamon Challenge". "Tide Pod Challenge". It took some Rectally-Derived brains to come up with those. Google them for some really good (non-fatal) yucks. I don't think anyone's posted the fatal results to Youtube (and there have been quite a few), so Youtube only shows the idiots who survived.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

(snip)
She must make his wiener hard. That's the only plausible explanation I can see.

Sometimes you've got to ask yourself, "Aren't there a lot of other people who make my wiener hard without being unrelenting pieces of shit?" That's good advice for anyone.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

She must make his wiener hard. That's the only plausible explanation I can see.

His spirit may be willing, but he will find his flesh spongy and bruised in no time.

[Someone]

Asahi also slipped a “poofs” (derogatory term for gay men) into cafe society this week that caused me to use my first flag, he does annoy so.
https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...nse/932530/35?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Asahi also slipped a “poofs” (derogatory term for gay men) into cafe society this week that caused me to use my first flag, he does annoy so.
https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...nse/932530/35?

I flagged it, too. Hopefully another report might get a mod to note him.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"Cinnamon Challenge". "Tide Pod Challenge". It took some Rectally-Derived brains to come up with those. Google them for some really good (non-fatal) yucks. I don't think anyone's posted the fatal results to Youtube (and there have been quite a few), so Youtube only shows the idiots who survived.

Cinnamon was enormously expensive during the days of the spice trade, and was one of the most profitable spices imported to Europe. If only they could see how far we've come!

[Someone]

Fake cinnamon for all!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Asahi also slipped a “poofs” (derogatory term for gay men) into cafe society this week that caused me to use my first flag, he does annoy so.
https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...nse/932530/35?

Asahi is fairly bonkers, but I don't think he's a homophobe. He's attributing the slur to random (most likely British) rugby fans slagging on American football.

[Someone]

nm

[Someone]

Okay, you all heard Jim: the "inappropriate" flag is going to be turned off, so use it now as much as possible while you still can.

[Someone]

I wasn’t complaining about dope mod inaction What Exit just about asshat using “poofs” when plenty of other words are used to disparage the American game throughout the commonwealth. It was just unnecessary to plant that one.

If I get peeved enough again to report something in the next 20 years or so I shall remember your note.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I wasn’t complaining about dope mod inaction What Exit just about asshat using “poofs” when plenty of other words are used to disparage the American game throughout the commonwealth. It was just unnecessary to plant that one.

If I get peeved enough again to report something in the next 20 years or so I shall remember your note.

The written word can suck.

We don't have the power to turn off the useless flag, so I came up with a canned reply to go along with the threads we have on it. It was not meant as a criticism.

I can't discuss mod discussions here or anywhere for that matter, I just threw in the last line to let everyone know that the flags were being looked at and discussed. I was trying to be helpful but clearly failed. I shouldn't have said anything.

sorry.

[Someone]

Dammit Jim! Of all the! Why I never!

[Someone]

Lol, I was just hoping my first post wasn’t received by you as a criticism, I was in no way offended by your useful (and helpful!) info.

Round and round and round we go.

S for all!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I wasn’t complaining about dope mod inaction What Exit just about asshat using “poofs” when plenty of other words are used to disparage the American game throughout the commonwealth. It was just unnecessary to plant that one.

I must admit I've used it more than a little on the dope but it was always in service of a pun when someone mentioned the word in the sense of "winking out". But now I refrain from it just because the word occupied enough of my mind during the legalization of SSM in Australia - every time I heard about it I immediately thought of the Bruces sketch and that many of their rules would no longer apply - that now it isn't funny anymore.

[Someone]

I'm quite certain ZanderSandstorm is sock, but I can't peg who it is. He's going to flame out here pretty soon.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

AFter showing a modicum of common sense in the Superdude and recent political threads, asahi is once again being a blibbering idjit. He's defending Gina Carano, who was fired by Lucasfilm/Disney for comparing the treatment of Republicans post-election to the plight of the Jews during the Holocaust. She also has a history of transphobia and being a maskhole. According to asahi, this merely constitutes "saying something stupid" and all she needs is to apologize and all is forgiven; she only got fired because of "cancel culture."



She must make his wiener hard. That's the only plausible explanation I can see.

Probably can add control-z to that list too:

I just care that she did her job well and now The Mandalorian has changed because of a bunch of whining.

Problematic behavior? Who cares! Messing with my entertainment, now that crosses a line!

Not at all unusual to see this in fan communities, unfortunately, for virtually any issue. Abusive working environments? Unfair pay? IDGAF, entertain me!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

His spirit may be willing, but he will find his flesh spongy and bruised in no time.

In case anyone doesn't get the reference, it came from here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In case anyone doesn't get the reference, it came from here.

Heretic! You linked to the NIV. All good Christians know that the KJV, and only the KJV, is the inspired word of god. It’s translated from the original Klingon!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I flagged it, too. Hopefully another report might get a mod to note him.

And Broomie has to get in there, three posts later, to tell EVERYONE just how allergic she is to EVERYTHING, in case you ever might forget that everything is all about her, instead of you.

Just a gentle reminder...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Heretic! You linked to the NIV. All good Christians know that the KJV, and only the KJV, is the inspired word of god. It’s translated from the original Klingon!

The KJV is there, too. It's the one on the right. But the Revised Standard Version is the only TRUE translation. I didn't bother to change the version my first google search linked to, because, fuck it, why bother. They all say pretty much the same thing. There ain't too many ways to translate "τὸ μὲν πνεῦμα πρόθυμον ἡ δὲ σὰρξ ἀσθενής." into english...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In case anyone doesn't get the reference, it came from here.

No, no, its all about the big

[Someone]

New: Dim_B(ulb) looks for help from the USPS in sending crank literature to people who have the temerity to reside at an address he doesn't know.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New: Dim_B(ulb) looks for help from the USPS in sending crank literature to people who have the temerity to reside at an address he doesn't know.

So he just mails his stuff to random people?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So he just mails his stuff to random people?

Sure sounds like it, otherwise I can't figure out why he has such a problem with invalid addresses like

A letter [being] off, a number, maybe I didn’t specify the suite, maybe the person has moved to the next floor.

and needs the USPS to correct the address for him. I'm guessing he sends his junk to various academics whenever he manages to stumble across someone's contact info which may or may not be up to date. I mean, otherwise, wouldn't you just ask them for the right address?

[Someone]

FigNorton gets a warning for ignoring moderator instructions. I believe this is his third one.

However, the fact that he's a screamingly obvious CarnalK sock still goes mostly unnoticed (save for a brief mention in the Pit). It would be funny if he ends up getting banned for being a jerk, and not for socking.

[Someone]

Whenever I see What Exit tell the derps, repeatedly, to "stay on topic," this is where my mind goes:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New: Dim_B(ulb) looks for help from the USPS in sending crank literature to people who have the temerity to reside at an address he doesn't know.

I, too, frequently purchase stamps from Amazon with phrases I don't understand. Doesn't everyone?

Which reminds me— does anyone know what Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer means? Stamped all my Christmas card envelopes with it, and now friends and family aren't returning my calls.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Which reminds me— does anyone know what Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer means?

"Have a Gassy New Year, Jew!" Are your friends and family Christian? That could explain it. ETA: Some of them see a "War on Christmas" everywhere they look...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Which reminds me— does anyone know what Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer means? Stamped all my Christmas card envelopes with it, and now friends and family aren't returning my calls.

Ein is one. Volk is short for volkswagen, which means shitty little slow car, ein Reich is a kind of pudding you cover with sugar and burn with a torch, so it's really rich, and ein fuhrer is what guys call their little warrior when he's all wrapped up in latex and ready for battle.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ein is one. Volk is short for volkswagen, which means shitty little slow car, ein Reich is a kind of pudding you cover with sugar and burn with a torch, so it's really rich, and ein fuhrer is what guys call their little warrior when he's all wrapped up in latex and ready for battle.

So you're saying it means "shitty little slow car, that you filled with pudding, and engaged in mud-wrestling in the back seat of with Mary-Sue, while trying to get into her pants, while she resists your rape attempts."

I find your translation a bit... implausible.

[Someone]

Why do hyoo-mons like things I don't like?

Among the horrors that derpers simply cannot abide: Eating in restaurants, going to movies, taking showers, and going to the beach.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why do hyoo-mons like things I don't like?

Among the horrors that derpers simply cannot abide: Eating in restaurants, going to movies, taking showers, and going to the beach.

Society is lucky they tend to be anti-social. I suspect there are more than one that stink.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why do hyoo-mons like things I don't like?

Among the horrors that derpers simply cannot abide: Eating in restaurants, going to movies, taking showers, and going to the beach.

often that kind of thread makes me sad but today I felt encouraged. I guess because I'm not functioning really well mentalhealth-wise but, on the other hand, look at all these people who are worse.