157: Oh when the Durps go snarking in. Oh when the Durps go snarking in. Lord I want to be in that number, when the Durps go snarking in.

[Someone]

You know what to do...

[Someone]

1st

and @hajario: Why?

[Someone]

Hey!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

1st

and @hajario: Why?

He's mad with power. Just very low-key about it.

[Someone]

Might've something to do with our absentee landlord popping in this week. Haj needs to show that he's on top of things.

[Someone]

Is this it?

[Someone]

Marching? More like wheeling, amirite?

[Someone]

Good title. I love Polkas.

[Someone]

Just stopped by to say GREAT TITLE! A pox on anyone who disagrees.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Good title. I love pookas.

And its six foot three and its name is Harvey. Uh huh. Let's go pal, there's plenty of room in the ambulance for him too.

[Someone]

Oh FFS I just tried to join in a side convo about British TV shows having poor audio only to have ThelmaLou jump on me in full snide mode. I’m done. https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...11?u=thylacine

[Someone]

In the same thread where she swears up and down that people call boxing "The Sweet Sport". Oh sure, some people somewhere may have uttered the phrase "the sweet science", but "The Sweet Sport" is absolutely what people call boxing.

But seriously, that thread is mostly just thread #8988876 of old people whining about people liking things they don't.

[Someone]

Definitely the most anti- of snarks: Beckdawrek had a seizure today and is now in the hospital.

Originally Posted by Someone

Beck had a siezure today and is on the goofballs hard tonight. She asked me to let you all know if she is posting nonsense.

Well, more nonsense than usual that is...

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ba...ab/967683/210?

Originally Posted by Someone

She is spending the night in the hospital

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ba...ab/967683/212?

Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery and thanks to Gatopescado for keeping us posted.

[Someone]

Zees iss VERBOTEN!! Get well soon Beck!

[Someone]

An update on Beck:

Originally Posted by Someone

Here is what happened as best I know: She was doing her rehab therapy, walking on the treadmill I think. Had a seizure and fell down. Bruised her shoulder. Somebody insisted she go to the hospital for an EEG (I don't even know what that is). Kept her overnight, hopped up on the goofballs.

This morning, she complained her head hurt, which triggered a round of head X-rays. Unclear if they found anything in there. Maybe some chalk dust, piece of lint.

She must be okay, because she is complaining about the food and threating to walk out. Daughter is bringing tacos. She wants to go back to the other place with good food and cats.

We are now up to date.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ba...ab/967683/222?

[Someone]

Bad bad bad bad treadmill. Beck, get better better better better. Oh, and hospital food, remember, that's not chicken, I don't care what they say.

[Someone]

RE: crying babies.
Why do human babies cry so much and so loud?

Originally Posted by Someone

It seems to me that making a lot of noise when you are helpless is a sure way to attract predators. Human babies seem to me to do this more than other animals, in fact, crying out loud is the very first thing we do, so much so that it has become iconic. And we don’t stop doing it for months or even years. Other species, primates included, judging by the programs I saw on TV, are not so loud. Not even apex predators, who could perhaps afford being conspicuous. What drove humans to evolve this behaviour? What are the evolutionary advantages?
As an aside: the crying baby also forces the mother to remain constantly close. Any link here to the prevalence of patriarchy in human societies? Is it the babies’ fault?

It's really not hard to tell those among us who have never raised a child.

[Someone]

Beck is back at rehab and out of the bad, bad, bad, hospital.

Originally Posted by Someone

Ok, you jokers. I'm back at rehab.
On bed rest. No walking.
That sucks, but the CNA will take me to see them. She's my favorite CNA.

I had lunch here. A baked pasta dish. Salad and bread. It was great.

My new goal is to not get sent back to that horrible hospital...

Thx for all you jokers who worried and commented.

Love you all to pieces!

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ba...ab/967683/226?

Glad she's feeling better.

[Someone]

That's great to hear! Seizures are evil.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What does that word mean? (the bolded one)

Really asking (I Googled it but feel I may be missing something).

Yeah, you're missing the fact that you're a total fucking moron who can't figure out an obvious typo that I didn't even notice and read as the word he obviously meant from context.

[Someone]

Now now, don't be so harsh. Maybe there are extenterating circumstances behind the question.

[Someone]

He's probably better off that he DIDN'T google it:

Eye extenteration

Pelvic extenteration

(My best friend in high school used to like watching those surgery documentaries. )

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Now now, don't be so harsh. Maybe there are extenterating circumstances behind the question.

Well, duh. Obviously, they performed a brain exenteration on Whack-a-Dull from the repeated trauma. He kept coming up through the same hole at all too predictable intervals and got whacked one too many times. Taking the whole thing out was the only way to relieve the swelling and take pressure off the cranium.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Now now, don't be so harsh. Maybe there are extenterating circumstances behind the question.

"I are an idiot" is not really an 'extenterating circumstance'. Being an idiot does not excuse you for 'being an utter idiot'.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's probably better off that he DIDN'T google it:

Eye extenteration

Pelvic extenteration

(My best friend in high school used to like watching those surgery documentaries. )

He actually said he googled it, but couldn't find it. He obviously DIDN'T google the word. When you tell us you googled the word, and obviously didn't, you are in D'Bwian territory. "Wut doz 'teh' mean? GOTCJA... ERR I meant that speline errer..."

[Someone]

Well this is interesting--an oldish thread about Opalcat's website and what happened to it after she died got zombie resurrected by Opal's Mom to see if anyone wants to put the site back together or to resurrect her artwork or whatever. Seems odd she just got around to checking in but hey, it's been slow and any snark is better than no snark, right?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Taking the whole thing out was the only way to relieve the swelling and take pressure off the cranium.

Three minutes at a high rolling boil and some crazy glue, and you can pop the old haggis right back in there for another 100,000 kabongings.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's probably better off that he DIDN'T google it:

Eye extenteration

Pelvic extenteration

(My best friend in high school used to like watching those surgery documentaries. )

I once had a roommate who was a nursing student. Just your average, intelligent, beautiful girl who liked to hang around the hospital morgue at night.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Seems odd she just got around to checking in but hey, it's been slow and any snark is better than no snark, right?

It certainly is. Opal's story is oddly fascinating even after all these years.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It certainly is. Opal's story is oddly fascinating even after all these years.

Like a slow burning dumpster fire, loaded on a train car about to de-rail.
I know that sounds mean, but really, her life was a mess and sadly (for people in her real life) she created most of that mess herself.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Like a slow burning dumpster fire, loaded on a train car about to de-rail.

And go over a cliff and land smack on a bus full of little old ladies on their way to Atlantic City, then bounce into a lake filled with man-eating pirhanas.

I still kind of worry/wonder about Dominic. I sure hope that kid managed to live a good life once the drama llama was out of it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

a lake filled with man-eating pirhanas.

:hopeful:
Can we throw in Octputz after her?



Cue Octo whining on the Derp about the mean Raffer wishing death on him. He wouldn't understand hyperbole if it was ka-bonged attached to a double bass.

[Someone]

I'd be afraid they'd throw him back.

[Someone]

Calamari is kinda chewy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cue Octo whining on the Derp about the mean Raffer wishing death on him. He wouldn't understand hyperbole if it was ka-bonged attached to a double bass.

Then I give you... The OCTObass!

[Someone]

Was Aspidistra always a transphobic asshole? He or she has never shown up on my radar as any sort of problematic poster in the past.

See here and continuing:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pr...ists/970369/32

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Calamari is kinda chewy.

It's like tripe, which is kind of like rubber bands.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Was Aspidistra always a transphobic asshole? He or she has never shown up on my radar as any sort of problematic poster in the past.

See here and continuing:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pr...ists/970369/32

For a long time, they were a nice normal poster (here and there both) but a few months back made a really rotten transphobic post, got pitted, and tripled down on their assholeishness. Shame that they popped up again just to throw a little hatefest

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

For a long time, they were a nice normal poster (here and there both) but a few months back made a really rotten transphobic post, got pitted, and tripled down on their assholeishness. Shame that they popped up again just to throw a little hatefest

Yeah, he or she was gone for four months, according to that thread, and came back just in time to get a warning.

[Someone]

I guess I already have them on ignore from the last time. I see they’ve managed to get a pit thread locked for several hours at least (4 hour lock, starting 2 hours ago).

I know I always say if I ever get banned, I want it to be for trolling a troll in the pit, but if that’s what it takes just to get a mod note and a warning, I might not have the wherewithal for such an endeavor.

[Someone]

I did not know you could get a Pit thread locked for anything short of the Pittee being banned.

WTA: Nice job on that warning. It was deserved.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I did not know you could get a Pit thread locked for anything short of the Pittee being banned.

WTA: Nice job on that warning. It was deserved.

It was auto-locked by discourse and is now re-opened, in case you want to call that transphobic asshole a transphobe to their face.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And go over a cliff and land smack on a bus full of little old ladies on their way to Atlantic City, then bounce into a lake filled with man-eating pirhanas.

I still kind of worry/wonder about Dominic. I sure hope that kid managed to live a good life once the drama llama was out of it.

I dunno, grandma made some sort of comment about him that sounded like maybe he's not handling things overly well--here:

Originally Posted by Someone

I have control over all of Katherine’s intellectual property for the benefit of her son, who is not up to running any of it himself. But he knows it is all there for him when he is ready. He was also getting the Google Ads payments from the bubble wrap site until it stopped working. The money from any purchases on her FineArtsAmerica page are directly deposited from them into his bank account.

[Someone]

I think it's more a matter of a mother who doesn't want to let go of what little she has left of her daughter. I hope the whole family finds peace in this, especially Dominic.

[Someone]

I check on "Heroin Jack" once in a while, just to see if he's done anything amusing. But his on-line presence has been non-existent for the last 8+ years. I'm guessing he's in prison.

[Someone]

Hey, I made one of the tags! And, I finally have a nickname here! I must be doing something either right or wrong.

[Someone]

Aspidistra needs to be kicked out on his ass. Ain't no room for bullshit like that to be tolerated where civil people gather.

Also, until today I thought his name was "Aphidistra," a take on a much hated weedlette pest that ruins my beautiful cannabis plants. I think I'll just keep using this name.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

...

Also, until today I thought his name was "Aphidistra,"...

Same. When I was first going to post about them here, I realized I had no idea how it was spelled.

I think I like RitterDork better than RitterSpork, but both are excellent.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's like tripe, which is kind of like rubber bands.

Those are only 'rubbery' because most people cook them wrong. My octopus and squid melt in your mouth. The second-to-last time I made something with octopus, I followed the frozen raw octo's package directions, thinking that maybe they knew something I didn't, and learned that 'If the directions don't look right, they probably ain't. Don't do it their way. Do it the way I figured out for myself'. The next (and last) time I tried that recipe, it came out just as good as any other 'octoputz' I've done in the past.

I haven't tried tripe, yet, but I intend to, soon, since my local butcher shop sells it, and I've got a recipe for Polish 'gut soup' (literal translation of the Polish name for the stuff) I want to try.

If the pirhanas toss him back, I volunteer to make him edible!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think I like RitterDork better than RitterSpork, but both are excellent.

I aim to please!