Durp Snark #162: Snarking Dopers since 2009. It's taking longer than we thought

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The candles were the cheap part, he also spent a pile of money on "tests" that showed he needed the candles.

But now, using his keen powers of observation and deduction, he's beginning to suspect. Better late than never, I suppose.

The sad part is, somewhere there is another sucker answering an ad for "Make Big Money Selling Candles On Amazon!!"

[Someone]

But... but... there was a LAB REPORT!?!?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

But... but... there was a LAB REPORT!?!?

Yes, it detailed the findings of the CAT SCAN.

[Someone]

It both was and was not a Schrödinger’s CAT scan.

[Someone]

I bought money blessing air freshener once. It didn't work. At. All. 😔
Did make my eyes itch. Threw it in the trash. Someone else got my money blessing.

[Someone]

am I the only one annoyed by nightshadea's consistent failure to use uppercase letters for proper nouns the first word in a sentence, and failing to end sentences with a punctuation mark

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

am I the only one annoyed by nightshadea's consistent failure to use uppercase letters for proper nouns the first word in a sentence, and failing to end sentences with a punctuation mark

It's the Straight Dope, your numbers are legion when it comes to being annoyed by such things. BTW: You forgot to capitalize the A in "am" to start your post.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's the Straight Dope, your numbers are legion when it comes to being annoyed by such things. BTW: You forgot to capitalize the A in "am" to start your post.

no period either

[Someone]

It was my feeble attempt at being snarky...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

no period either

Many a boyfriend’s worst nightmare.

[Someone]

Especially if your boyfriend is Dracula.

Don't say anything; I'll kabong myself for that one.

[Someone]

I think Nightshadea is the only person I have blocked. He's the stupidest person I have ever run across.

[Someone]

I have never blocked anyone. The only poster who is 100% useless is Jinx who rarely posts anymore. Literally every other regular poster ever has/had at least occasional value.

[Someone]

I experimented with ignoring people. The view post got distracting, and I didn't want to risk being the idiot that said something that somebody just said. So I no longer Ignore with a capital I, I just try to skim the idiots.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I experimented with ignoring people. The view post got distracting, and I didn't want to risk being the idiot that said something that somebody just said. So I no longer Ignore with a capital I, I just try to skim the idiots.

That's been my method with the one exception on this board of Kirin/Asahi. Technically, I can't do a full ignore of anyone on the SDMB anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think Nightshadea is the only person I have blocked. He's the stupidest person I have ever run across.

I ran across an idiot with my bike when I was younger. Bent my front wheel.

[Someone]

DFTT = Durps Feed The Trolls:

I see the ignorance runs rampant here. It’s the left that used and weaponized the DOJ against Trump as they have nothing positive to campaign on. They are just like the 1930-1940’s nazi Germany using the gestapo to get rid of the competition.
FYI - EVERYTHING was better under Trump. Name just ONE thing better now (and it has to be REAL, not what cnn, msnbc tells you what to believe) than it was 4 years ago. Absolutely nothing.

[Someone]

Right. You couldn't trust him alone in a room with your daughter, but the nuclear football? No problem!

[Someone]

When someone puts “common sense” in their username you know they are about to start trolling. WhatJim set the fool straight.

Remind him to tune in July 11th for the premier of “Real Housewives of Rikers Island” staring Melania.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

When someone puts “common sense” in their username you know they are about to start trolling.

A dead giveaway for trolls in every dank corner of the fractal Web. See also any variation of "truth seeker," "[true] centrist," "classic liberal," and "retired US [military branch/rank]."

[Someone]

Well, it didn’t are long. Truth seeker has been bannated. I certainly hope he finds a lot of like minded individuals there to flock with.

ETA: WhatJim showed him the Exit.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, it didn’t are long. Truth seeker has been bannated. I certainly hope he finds a lot of like minded individuals there to flock with.

ETA: WhatJim showed him the Exit.

I was surprised he returned, I assumed he was just doing a drive by drivel.

[Someone]

I’m thinking it was Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity or perhaps Rupert himself.

[Someone]

Rupert is busy with his new trophy wife, uh I mean his one true love soul mate. Coincidentally she's his fifth one true love and about one fifth his age.

[Someone]

I wonder what thoughts run through one's mind as randy Rupey pops that little blue pill in the honeymoon suite.

[Someone]

I’ll bet she’s in the bathroom reading “Guide to Inheriting Millions “ and “How to Give Your Lover Heart Attack Sex.”

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I’ll bet she’s in the bathroom reading “Guide to Inheriting Millions “ and “How to Give Your Lover Heart Attack Sex.”

That's not the stoke he was looking for.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I wonder what thoughts run through one's mind as randy Rupey pops that little blue pill in the honeymoon suite.

I, on the other hand, definitely do not wonder any such thing.

[Someone]

Shuddup and pass the

[Someone]

Asuka believes that applying sunscreen to your dick would cause an immediate erection. How deeply are you rubbing it in, son?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho...-know/1002688/

[Someone]

Hey, Ratty, pass that jug.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Asuka believes that applying sunscreen to your dick would cause an immediate erection. How deeply are you rubbing it in, son?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho...-know/1002688/

I'm not going to search too hard, but IIRC he has an unusual obsession with his penis, well beyond what us penis-havers normally have.

[Someone]

Here, grab a pair of jugs

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Here, grab a pair of jugs

You watch your phraseology!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Asuka believes that applying sunscreen to your dick would cause an immediate erection. How deeply are you rubbing it in, son?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho...-know/1002688/

Great time to burn a sock and suggest he takes his mom with him. I can imagine the storm to follow.

[Someone]

The OP isn't even participating in that idiotic thread about sunscreen. Clearly, the intent was to get everyone talking about weenies. Pure trolling.

[Someone]

Chronos explains…

Chronos
Charter Member
…and most of us, once we’re past our teen years, take a lot more than one single rub to get erect.


There’s so much to work with there, yet no one is going to touch it.

[Someone]

::siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh::

[Someone]

I think we're going to need a bigger jug.

[Someone]

A shame, because the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.

[Someone]

Guess who's the first poster ever to get blocked by Smapti?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/di...6?u=iiandyiiii

And all it took was a rather mild but pointed nickname!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Chronos explains…

Chronos
Charter Member
…and most of us, once we’re past our teen years, take a lot more than one single rub to get erect.


There’s so much to work with there, yet no one is going to touch it.

If they did, what would be the result? If they only lightly touched it, once, of course... Lightly...

ETA: Someone want to pass one of those bottles this way, please? I think I'm gonna need it, after that thought...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Guess who's the first poster ever to get blocked by Smapti?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/di...6?u=iiandyiiii

And all it took was a rather mild but pointed nickname!

Oh, you are A Bad man, a VERY Bad Man! [youtube link, to... The Twilight Zone...]

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Guess who's the first poster ever to get blocked by Smapti?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/di...6?u=iiandyiiii

And all it took was a rather mild but pointed nickname!

I misspelled his user name once when dialoging with him and hr had a mini shit fit. An honest mistake and he took it as an insult. His skin is paper thin. After that it was apparent he wasn’t worth the effort to respond to him.

[Someone]

He’s been on my ignore list for a few weeks now. I don’t care to converse with genociders (or their fanboys).

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Guess who's the first poster ever to get blocked by Smapti?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/di...6?u=iiandyiiii

And all it took was a rather mild but pointed nickname!

Gosh, you really are the most dangerous poster

[Someone]

You mean like a hungry, hungry hippo?

[Someone]

Or an angry mama hippo, and mama hippos are always pissed off.

A friend of my sister's grew up in South Africa. One time he and some friends were swimming in the river when three baby hippos (hippoes?) came along. Apparently they barely made it out of the river and up a tree before Mama came barging along and trapped them there for quite a while, and they didn't dare come down before all four hippo[e]s were out of sight.

Growing up in boring suburbia has its perks, I gotta say.

[Someone]

Sometimes I think Opal invaded Broomstick's mind or something. Broomstick reminds me of her more and more often.

Starting here: she gets her broomstick up her ass about being offended by being called Ms Firstname in the Southern way, because she's from the north.

and more

I find the “Southern custom” to be offensive.

It is demeaning if I have to address doctors and nurses by their surname but they call me by my first name. That’s infantalizing.

and more

However, for many of us northerners doing so is offensively familiar or otherwise extremely uncomfortable. It really, really irritates me when someone does that, excuses it as being something Southern, but at that moment we are in the northern part of the country by hundreds of miles.

But of course we Yankee northerners should just STFU and submit to someone else’s customs, right?

Don’t tell children to do that in the north. You do them no favors failing to mention customs are different in other places.

over and over! It's not even so much that she doesn't want to be called Ms Firstname, it's her strident tone. Totally reminds me of Opal.

[Someone]

She also yet again plays the poor attacked victim, claiming that “many strangers” have gotten angry at her for not having a middle name. Suuuuure they have.