Fruitcakes (not the political kind)! Yay or nay?

[Fenris]

Yes, yes, everyone has horror stories of fruitcakes that have been handed down for generations and broke someone's foot when it fell on it. For this exercise, assume the perfect fruitcake--the platonic ideal of a fruitcake.

Given a perfectly made fruitcake, do you like it?

[Dirx]

Hells yes!

I seriously don't see what's so bad about them.

[Fenris]

As I understand it, in the '50s, there were no-booze fruitcakes...which were dense and had the neon-colored flavorless fruit in them...that were sold EVERYWHERE. People got the idea that THOSE were fruitcakes and decided they hated 'em.

Imagine an entire generation being raised to think that the things Wendy's produces are real hamburgers. Same idea.

[Wolf Larsen]

Harry and David make this thing they call Fruitcake Confection that is atomic mega yum, but it is also priced like flawless diamonds on a per-ounce basis, so I don't get it very often.

Most ordinary fruitcake is worse than meh.

[Zeener Diode]

Fruitcakes, no...

But I've had bread (little mini-loaves) made with different types of fruit (and veggies) that were orgasmically delicious.

[Promethea]

They're delicious! I remember being so puzzled when I first encountered the 'fruitcakes are gross' gags from people in the USA. Are they made very differently from the trad UK ones, I wonder? Because provided they're like the ones mum makes, by all means send your unwanted fruitcake to me. Yum!

[Who_me?]

Mmmmmm.... candied fruit baked into a cake. No thanks.

[Wolf Larsen]

Originally Posted by Promethea

They're delicious! I remember being so puzzled when I first encountered the 'fruitcakes are gross' gags from people in the USA. Are they made very differently from the trad UK ones, I wonder? Because provided they're like the ones mum makes, by all means send your unwanted fruitcake to me. Yum!

I can just about guarantee that they are different than in the UK. You'd pay about 2 Euros per 30 grams NOT to eat a classic US fruitcake. Think dry and and generally tasteless, with pieces of genuine nastiness scattered about.

[Promethea]

Interesting. This is the sort of thing a British person would picture if fruit cake at Christmas was mentioned. I especially love the instructions about how it can stay good for weeks as long as it's regularly topped up with booze. Bit like myself, then.

It's traditional to then put a layer of marzipan over the top of the cake and then a layer of royal icing over that. It's bascially a total calorie bomb and probably should really only be consumed by polar explorers or marathon runners.

[Khampelf]

There was no middle option, so I didn't vote. A lot depends on the fruitcake, some are yummy. I find most are not. If I eat one piece in a year, that's enough for me. Fortunately, my family's not big on fruitcake.

[Chacoguy]

There is a finite number of fruitcakes in the world. They are simply regifted in an endless recursive loop.

[Monstera deliciosa]

Yumm, if it is anything like the Collin Street Bakery fruitcakes, or if it is someone's homemade recipe.

"Meh," but not "eww" to all other fruitcakes.

[Zombies!]

Originally Posted by Who_me?

Mmmmmm.... candied fruit baked into a cake. No thanks.

Most of the fruit that goes into a fruit cake is dried, not glacé. Though there is a certain degree of the latter.

But yuck. Ew. Yuck and blerk and fuck off, I hate you. I don't like dried fruit, I loathe sultanas and raisins and I can't abide glacé fruits.

Plus it stinks. It's got a hugely rich aroma that is all-pervading and gets right up your nose and LIVES there.

[Radical Edward]

There is nothing wrong with properly made fruitcake. I would eat it.

[Monkey FlingPoo]

They make good flinging ammo, when I'm constipated.

[Random Precision]

My wife and I both like fruitcake. Earlier this year we were visiting with my sister and somehow the topic of fruitcake came up and the wife mentioned that she liked it. So for Christmas, my sister sent us two homemade fruitcakes, one traditional with brandied cherries and one chocolate hazelnut with a caramel glaze topping.

We ate all we thought prudent, i.e., too much, and I took the rest to work where it disappeared almost immediately.

OTOH, most store brand sealed in a tin fruitcake is pretty so-so. Freshly homemade fruitcake from my sister - gastromorgasmic.

[whirlingbladesofkick]

I don't think I've ever had properly made fruitcake, but British-stylee with marzipan and royal icing??? Yes, thanks.

[Dragonlady]

You had me at marzipan.

I'd try most anything, if it contained enough marzipan.