Vasectomy - Page 2

Pencil · #51 27th January 2012, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

See my website for pictures before, after and during the procedure.

Will there be duck porn on your website too?

Mako · #52 27th January 2012, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

Quote:

Originally Posted by Board Taurus

Is it going to get itchy as it heals?

I'll keep you posted.

See my website for pictures before, after and during the procedure.

*Puts on the goggles which do nothing*

Okay...I...I'm ready for the link.

Seriously though, my friend, (wife and one child - she mustn't have any more) is about to have the same procedure done. He's worried about the after-effects, so please do let us know how you get on in the long term.

The Futility of Nihilism · #53 27th January 2012, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

See my website for pictures before, after and during the procedure.

That hajario, always the professinal.

Lady of the Cement Pond · #54 27th January 2012, 11:07 AM

My best to your balls.

Taur · #55 27th January 2012, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Futility of Nihilism

always the professinal.

HAW!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShelliBean

My best shot to your balls.

My thoughts exactly.

Zombies! · #56 27th January 2012, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pencil

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

See my website for pictures before, after and during the procedure.

Will there be duck porn on your website too?

Sex with Ducks

*hajario* · #57 27th January 2012, 01:25 PM

I have got to be the only person in the world whose post-vasectomy help is from a hung over ex-wife who keeps making me laugh because she knows it hurts.

Zombies! · #58 27th January 2012, 01:35 PM

Naw, I'd do the same to my ex if he ever got the snip

Argyle Sock · #59 27th January 2012, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zombies!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pencil

Will there be duck porn on your website too?

Sex with Ducks

Why does this remind me of Opal?

eleanorigby · #60 27th January 2012, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

No big deal at all! Of course the numbing medication probably hasn't worn off yet. I barely even felt the needle from the numbing med. Seriously, that was nothing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eleanorigby

I have never seen one vasectomy that didn't go home with Vicodin or its equivalent, but some docs aren't real great with the pain relief.

This guy just gave me two packets of Tylenol and an ice pack. I have more Tylenol and a couple of bags of Trader Joe's frozen peas as a back-up.

Thanks to the well wishers in the thread and via PM.

Is your doctor's name Chuck Norris?

I'd take the Tylenol and use the peas judiciously. And please let Mrs Haj know that all the womenfolk here applaud her post-op nursing plan.

*hajario* · #61 27th January 2012, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eleanorigby

Is your doctor's name Chuck Norris?

I'm mother fucking Chuck Norris.

Quote:

I'd take the Tylenol and use the peas judiciously. And please let Mrs Haj know that all the womenfolk here applaud her post-op nursing plan.

The peas are supposed to be on for a half hour then off for half an hour in rotation. And that's the ex-Mrs. Haj and I'll be damned if I am giving her any encouragement.

*hajario* · #62 28th January 2012, 10:55 AM

I feel great this morning. Barely any pain at all. Still going to take it easy today and tomorrow but that was a breeze.

For future generations that may find this. Don't worry. It's not a big deal.

eleanorigby · #63 28th January 2012, 11:40 AM

I am glad you followed advice re pea placement and timing. Well done.

See? It weren't no thang.

Carolia · #64 28th January 2012, 02:31 PM

Avoid the riding lawn mower, and you'll continue to do great! I'm glad it went so well!

Wolf Larsen · #65 28th January 2012, 02:50 PM

Good to hear you are feeling better. Be sure you get the final all clear before you start bare-backing.

Radical Edward · #66 28th January 2012, 02:51 PM

Congratulations Haj, glad you're feeling fine and thank you for having yourself snipped. The world has too many spawn already. :hijack:

Jaglavak · #67 28th January 2012, 05:49 PM

Aw geez. Is this the part where you have to jack off in the doctor's office?

:: dives back to corner, covers ears ::

Wolf Larsen · #68 28th January 2012, 05:51 PM

If you live close to the office, you can jack off at home and bring the sample in within about 20 minutes.

Solfy · #69 28th January 2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf Larsen

If you live close to the office, you can jack off at home and bring the sample in within about 20 minutes.

They want you to keep it warm, too. (at least they did back in the 80's.) This can be done by sitting out in the running car waiting for your spouse to fill the sample jar, then sticking it down your shirt and hoping you don't get pulled over on the way to the doctor's office.

Wolf Larsen · #70 28th January 2012, 06:45 PM

Yeah, I put it in my shirt pocket while I jogged over to the office.

Jaglavak · #71 28th January 2012, 06:53 PM

I suppose a quick clean death is too much to ask for.

Wolf Larsen · #72 28th January 2012, 06:58 PM

A vasectomy is really not that bad and once you're done, you can stop worrying about birth control.

Zeener Diode · #73 28th January 2012, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf Larsen

A vasectomy is really not that bad and once you're done, you can stop worrying about birth control.

But not STDs.

I know this goes without saying, but I'll wager you dollars to donuts someone is thinking that getting snipped is a free pass to all the good lovin and none of the responsibility.

Wolf Larsen · #74 28th January 2012, 07:03 PM

I like being married.

Zeener Diode · #75 28th January 2012, 07:06 PM

I like being single.

*hajario* · #76 28th January 2012, 07:11 PM

I am touched by your concern, all of you. The doctor's office is about ten minutes away so I can produce the sample in the privacy of my own home.

Solfy · #77 28th January 2012, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf Larsen

A vasectomy is really not that bad and once you're done, you can stop worrying about birth control.

People who aren't getting any sexin don't have to worry about it, either.

Wolf Larsen · #78 28th January 2012, 07:25 PM

They have to switch hands regularly or they will get asymentric.

Zeener Diode · #79 28th January 2012, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf Larsen

They have to switch hands regularly or they will get asymentric.

Gee, I always wondered why the brachioradialis on my left was larger than the one on my right.

Jaglavak · #80 28th January 2012, 08:12 PM

It's a two handed job for some of us.

Zeener Diode · #81 28th January 2012, 08:15 PM

It's all in the grip, my son.

Jaglavak · #82 28th January 2012, 08:22 PM

Woah! Hey! Don't point that thing at me, it might go off!

eleanorigby · #83 29th January 2012, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Woah! Hey! Don't point that thing at me, ~~it might go off!~~you could put someone's eye out!

FTFY

jali · #84 29th January 2012, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf Larsen

They have to switch hands regularly or they will get asymentric.

Werd.

Taur · #85 29th January 2012, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

For future generations that may find this, obviously the procedure failed. Don't worry. It's not a big deal.

Daddy will love you even if you were a ~~mistake~~ surprise.

Mako · #86 29th January 2012, 01:04 PM

Haj, were you given any advice about travelling after the op?

*hajario* · #87 29th January 2012, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mako

Haj, were you given any advice about travelling after the op?

Just to spend the first day on the couch, the next two taking it easy and not to lift anything heavy for a week after the operation.

I bring in my first sample in a few weeks and then another one a month after that.

If neither one has swimmers, I am officially sterile.

Wolf Larsen · #88 29th January 2012, 05:48 PM

They are serious about the heavy lifting, so be careful.

Chacoguy · #89 2nd February 2012, 01:24 PM

How's the stubble working out sport?

*hajario* · #90 2nd February 2012, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chacoguy

How's the stubble working out sport?

Not too bad. Still a little tender on one side though. Per doc's instructions, activity can officially begin tomorrow and I not so coincidentally have a guest coming over to the Haj Lodge in the evening. Hopefully everything will be in working order by then.

Lady of the Cement Pond · #91 2nd February 2012, 03:10 PM

You've gone back for the "all clear"? Nobody wants a 'last shot' baby.

*hajario* · #92 2nd February 2012, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShelliBean

You've gone back for the "all clear"? Nobody wants a 'last shot' baby.

Not even close. Play will be covered.

I am at least three months away from "all clear."

Lady of the Cement Pond · #93 2nd February 2012, 03:36 PM

Three months? That seems awfully long! I had no idea.

Well, you do your part to knock those last little bastards outta there.

*hajario* · #94 2nd February 2012, 04:17 PM

First sample is after 20 cums. Second sample is two months later. Neither one can have swimmers. You need two consecutive good samples to be officially sterile.

Solfy · #95 2nd February 2012, 04:21 PM

What happens if the 1st sample has swimmers?

*hajario* · #96 2nd February 2012, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solfy

What happens if the 1st sample has swimmers?

Then it doesn't count. You still have to do two more.

Thinking more about it....the first sample could have swimmers because the pipes weren't totally clear or because the vas rejoined. Not sure what the protocol would be.

Jaglavak · #97 2nd February 2012, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

You need two consecutive good samples to be officially sterile.

What happens if you aren't officially sterile?

*hajario* · #98 2nd February 2012, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

You need two consecutive good samples to be officially sterile.

What happens if you aren't officially sterile?

WTF is the matter with you people? Do I not have enough to worry about?

If the semen is still live, it means that recanalization has occurred and the tubes managed to find a way to reattach themselves and I have to do it again which is extremely unlikely to happen.

Jaglavak · #99 2nd February 2012, 10:37 PM

I thought only tom cats could do that. So if it does happen, you'll have documented medical evidence that you are in fact hornier than a three balled tom cat.

Dragonlady · #**100** 3rd February 2012, 04:11 AM

Soooo, it's tomorrow already - how's it going???