Serious Question

[Doyle]

http://www.giraffeboards.com/showpos...5&postcount=30

Originally Posted by Zombies!

Why would you do this? Why would you haul Ed's name up in an unrelated thread like this? What possible purpose does this serve, apart from being an absolute cockmongler?

Serious question. Did I deserve that?

I thought of it only as a throw away joke.

[MarkF]

Now I know a little more background, I am going to err on the side of "yes, you should have thought a bit more."

[bufftabby]

Yeah, it was uncalled for, but I'm reasonably sure you've said worse to me, and I still like ya.

[Doyle]

Originally Posted by bufftabby

Yeah, it was uncalled for, but I'm reasonably sure you've said worse to me, and I still like ya.

Did the tasteless, egregious "rape joke" by the one nonny change everything?

[mothedrine]

Pretty much right after I got here I got into a discussion with ed about the bible. Having studied it in some detail in college, including the history of the ancient near east, and based on some of what he posted, there wasn't any doubt in my mind that I knew a tad more about the subject than he did. However just mentioning that seemed to be enough to piss ed off so I can definitely see how he could rub people the wrong way.

Also, at one point he even admitted that he had most of the forum on ignore. I'm sure that was an exaggeration, but I have no doubt it expressed a genuine sentiment.

So in short, yeah, I don't really have a problem with someone ragging on her in a light hearted way. It's not like Doyle is saying he hopes the hospital sends someone to rape her. I mean fuck, let's keep things in perspective.

[Doyle]

Originally Posted by mothedrine

Pretty much right after I got here I got into a discussion with ed about the bible. Having studied it in some detail in college, including the history of the ancient near east, and based on some of what he posted, there wasn't any doubt in my mind that I knew a tad more about the subject than he did. However just mentioning that seemed to be enough to piss ed off so I can definitely see how he could rub people the wrong way.

Also, at one point he even admitted that he had most of the forum on ignore. I'm sure that was an exaggeration, but I have no doubt it expressed a genuine sentiment.

So in short, yeah, I don't really have a problem with someone ragging on her in a light hearted way. It's not like Doyle is saying he hopes the hospital sends someone to rape her. I mean fuck, let's keep things in perspective.

Ed is a she.

[Lungfish]

I for one would be flattered if I was call a sock of RadEd considering how awesome she is. You didn't deserve to be called a cockmongler, whatever that is.

[Doyle]

I really want to be a good citizen here, but sometimes I don't see where I fuck up. I'm just trying to see everyone's perspective. Let's leave Ed out of this.

[mothedrine]

Originally Posted by Doyle

I really want to be a good citizen here, but sometimes I don't see where I fuck up. I'm just trying to see everyone's perspective. Let's leave Ed out of this.

I don't see how you do that given the fact that ed being the object of your comment is what got people pissed off?

[Harry]

Ed gets a lot of crap thrown at her because she's a strong, outspoken woman, who won't back down when she thinks she's doing what's right for her. That tends to polarize people's thoughts. Even the strongest individuals can get worn out, though. Notice I said "out," not "down," there's a big difference. Because of the garden-variety everyday crap she deals with, plus the death and rape threats she has to cope with, gratuitous use of her name as you did is insensitive and unwelcome. In today's vernacular. it was an incredibly dickish thing to say.

[Uthrecht]

I dunno. I guess I'm going to be in the clueless boat with Doyle over there. While I didn't know about any behind-her-back comments about her on another board (which, I think I've mentioned to her before, she'd do well to simply not read), I had read it as Doyle just making a general crack and using Ed's name. I hadn't put any thought into his choice of name, but I suppose I would have aimed it at her being a bit of a firebrand (and maybe Doyle doesn't care for her, but he generally doesn't bring folks in to snark on them in comments that I've seen). Certainly if he was specifically saying it in the context of "Ed doesn't have any friends so you must be her sock looking for some" that'd be egregious, but I didn't get that vibe.

ETA: I will say that if Doyle had replied with, "I dunno, you could have been one of Uthrecht's socks," I might have been puzzled why he grabbed my name. I probably wouldn't have spent more than a day or two angsting over it and checking our posting histories to make sure that I hadn't offended him, however, so no big deal.

[Pere]

Originally Posted by Doyle

Let's leave Ed out of this.

Was the "throw away joke" about her or not?

[Zombies!]

Yes, you did deserve it, or I wouldn't have said it. Why the fuck would you try to drag Ed into something she's not shown any involvement in at all? Why not pick someone else who was actually posting in that thread and thus was engaged in it? Then it would have been "I see what you did there" lame kind of funny rather than "Let's drag in someone who's not even involved in this!" looking like an attempt to poke the bear.

[Monstera deliciosa]

Seriously, the remark demonstrated a dislike of Ed, but I would only call it insensitive if you knew of her recent circumstances, including the difficulties she was going through regarding the potential loss of her home, the disgusting remarks from the Snackpit, and that she was taking a break because of them.

And Harry, Ed may be a strong, outspoken woman, but she can also be stubborn and churlish, and has a tendency to lash out at people who mean her no harm. I think that may be the reason why some people dislike her, myself included. I generally admire strong, outspoken women. (SmartAleq, NinetyWt, and Dragonlady all have those qualities, and I, think they are terrific.)

ETA: I also think Zombies! is terrific, and if she wants to dish it out at me because of this post, I can take it.

[redtail]

I'll have to be in that boat, too. I don't see what the butthurt is about. I really didn't see anything negative about the comment.

I thought it was just a riff on the "you're all X's socks" thing that goes around periodically and I've seen in a couple of threads recently. Unless Doyle & RadEd have some kind of history of antagonism going, which I wouldn't know. But so far as I can see, there's no suggestion of that.

I don't read the snark boards, can't be bothered. I've been over there on occasion and they're mostly just stupid. Not even entertaining, just stupid. Wouldn't have any idea that they'd said anything if it hadn't been posted in some other thread here. Am I going to be required now to keep up with the moronic nonnys to make sure I don't upset anyone here?

[mothedrine]

Originally Posted by Monstera deliciosa

Seriously, the remark demonstrated a dislike of Ed, but I would only call it insensitive if you knew of her recent circumstances, including the difficulties she was going through regarding the potential loss of her home, the disgusting remarks from the Snackpit, and that she was taking a break because of them.

And Harry, Ed may be a strong, outspoken woman, but she can also be stubborn and churlish, and has a tendency to lash out at people who mean her no harm. I think that may be the reason why some people dislike her, myself included. I generally admire strong, outspoken women. (SmartAleq, NinetyWt, and Dragonlady all have those qualities, and I, think they are terrific.)

ETA: I also think Zombies! is terrific, and if she wants to dish it out at me because of this post, I can take it.

+1

[Zombies!]

If you're going to riff on the lame board in-jokes, riff on it with people who've already shown to be engaged. People in the thread in question, or people who've carried on the joke elsewhere like Dragonlady and Spork have done. They've shown a willingness to engage in that shit.

Ed's made it pretty clear in the past that she gets irritated by people frivolously dragging her into shit she's not involved in, and she doesn't like being accused of someone else being her sock. Right or wrong, she's got pretty strong ideas about socks and doesn't like being accused of lying which she has compared to socking it up in the past.

She also hadn't posted much at all outside her house thread in recent days and weeks. Which suggests she's taking a break from things. Why dig at her? Especially in a thread about someone being desperate to make friends?

[Mateomasfeo]

What a bunch of pussies...

[Jeff]

Doyle, if you don't want to be considered an asshole you have to restrict your snark to mentally ill people who post at the durp.

Anything else is simply uncivilized.

[Doyle]

All that was intended by the "joke" was to bring attention to her continued absence. Nothing more. Obviously, that wasn't clear to many posters and thus Zombies' response. In the future, I shall put more thought into my posts that concern sensitive areas.

[Chacoguy]

Doyle, if that's the worst fuckup that you make this week, you're doing fine.

[Pere]

Chaco fucks up worse than that before coffee.

[Chacoguy]

....and I don't drink coffee.

[Glazer]

'Cause you fucked it up.

[Chacoguy]

Sorry. :o

[Solfy]

I assumed Ed was the subject because she's the most recent regular to wander off. I guess it's the price you have to pay for following closely enough to notice she's gone but not closely enough to know why.

[bufftabby]

Originally Posted by Doyle

Did the tasteless, egregious "rape joke" by the one nonny change everything?

No. That nonny could probably use a good castration, but the sins of the nonnies should not be passed on to you. We're not talking about the crime of the century here.

[Who_me?]

Originally Posted by Doyle

I really want to be a good citizen here, but sometimes I don't see where I fuck up. I'm just trying to see everyone's perspective. Let's leave Ed out of this.

Doyle, you're a good citizen and life's too short to worry about things like this. No one is going to always say the correct thing and if you don't step on it once in a while, you're not really trying.

[redtail]

Originally Posted by Zombies!

If you're going to riff on the lame board in-jokes, riff on it with people who've already shown to be engaged. People in the thread in question, or people who've carried on the joke elsewhere like Dragonlady and Spork have done. They've shown a willingness to engage in that shit.

Ed's made it pretty clear in the past that she gets irritated by people frivolously dragging her into shit she's not involved in, and she doesn't like being accused of someone else being her sock. Right or wrong, she's got pretty strong ideas about socks and doesn't like being accused of lying which she has compared to socking it up in the past.

She also hadn't posted much at all outside her house thread in recent days and weeks. Which suggests she's taking a break from things. Why dig at her? Especially in a thread about someone being desperate to make friends?

Ah, so I only need to keep track of which posters are currently engaging in lame board in-jokes (so that I can be sure to only riff with them and never ever play with anyone else), and the personal preferences of every poster regarding any issue that has ever come up, just in case anything I'm posting might possibly offend them. Got it.

Really, I've got nothing against RadEd, but I sure as hell had no idea that she had any of the issues mentioned in this thread.

Just a polite suggestion - perhaps next time, you might couch your objection a tad more diplomatically. Or in a PM or something. And maybe give the poster the benefit of the doubt, unless you have good reason to think they're being intentionally hateful.

You know, instead of jumping instantly on the offensive and assuming malice aforethought and all.

Or not, your choice.

[DogMom]

I see where Zoms is coming from, even though she expressed it a bit astringently. I was taken aback at the use of Ed's name in that thread, because she hadn't been in the thread, so I was very much wondering "why bring her into it??? WTF?"

You don't have to "keep track of which posters are currently engaging in lame board in-jokes" , but really, if you're going to riff on someone in a thread, using a lame board in-joke, howsabout riffing on someone who's, y'know, in on the joke rather than hauling in someone else who isn't participating and therefore has no knowledge of the joke?

[redtail]

That's certainly a good point. I was puzzled by that, too, I just assumed it was something I wasn't in on - not an uncommon situation.

When I read Zombies' comment in the original thread, I thought "wow, what hornet got in her bloomers", because I saw absolutely nothing meriting that response. Then I went on my merry way, because really, who cares.

When Doyle started this thread, honestly trying to understand what the problem was, and Zombies started in again like he'd intentionally committed some heinous crime against humanity, it bugged me, hence my participation.

I've got no dog in this fight, Mom, honest. I'd be hard-pressed to tell you anything about either RadEd or Doyle. Sorry, guys, nothing personal. I'm just not good at keeping track of who thinks what as a rule.

So naturally, I find the "OMG you might have offended someone doing something you had no idea was offensive HOW FUCKING DARE YOU" attacks to be a tad annoying.

[HongKongFooey]

Originally Posted by Who_me?

Doyle, you're a good citizen and life's too short to worry about things like this. No one is going to always say the correct thing and if you don't step on it once in a while, you're not really trying.

Seconded.

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by redtail

That's certainly a good point. I was puzzled by that, too, I just assumed it was something I wasn't in on - not an uncommon situation.

When I read Zombies' comment in the original thread, I thought "wow, what hornet got in her bloomers", because I saw absolutely nothing meriting that response. Then I went on my merry way, because really, who cares.

When Doyle started this thread, honestly trying to understand what the problem was, and Zombies started in again like he'd intentionally committed some heinous crime against humanity, it bugged me, hence my participation.

I've got no dog in this fight, Mom, honest. I'd be hard-pressed to tell you anything about either RadEd or Doyle. Sorry, guys, nothing personal. I'm just not good at keeping track of who thinks what as a rule.

So naturally, I find the "OMG you might have offended someone doing something you had no idea was offensive HOW FUCKING DARE YOU" attacks to be a tad annoying.

Yeah, that makes sense. I get the puzzlement, because i thought Zoms was pretty over-the-top about it, but I shrugged that off because Zoms is over-the-top about...well...pretty much everything.

[redtail]

Ah, well, see, there ya go.

I'm really going to have to get a scorecard or something.

[eleanorigby]

Ok, I don't get the umbrage, but I'm not involved so don't know details. The references to rape puzzle me. I was aware that Ed was anxious about her house and eminent domain, but not the other. I don't follow or care about nonnies and their nonsense.

So, Doyle, for me, you're ok (like that even matters....). IMO, it is a bit odd that you dragged her into when she's not been involved. It might have been better left unsaid or the joke unattempted or another posters' name inserted, but it's not the end of the world, either.

[Zeener Diode]

Originally Posted by Doyle

http://www.giraffeboards.com/showpos...5&postcount=30

Serious question. Did I deserve that?

I thought of it only as a throw away joke.

Before I answer this, I have to know what kind of poster you are.

Who knows? You may be just a sock of Zeener Diode's.

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diode

You may be just a sock of Zeener Diode's.

Bastard.

[Zeener Diagon]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diode

Who knows? You may be just a sock of Zeener Diode's.

He has socks?

[Anacanapuna]

Okay, waitaminnit, from what I've read just in this thread, it appears that RadicalEdward (who is one of the wittiest, in-yer-face posters I've ever fallen in like with) has suffered some serious written abuse, either on this thread or another, and as a result has withdrawn from the discourse -- which makes aforementioned abuse a crime against the whole board.

No, I'm not being flippant. If this has happened, it is serious shit. I understand "we're all adults here," and we use screen names because we want some modicum of privacy and cover, and in some cases it helps us present a persona who is different from the real poster. Nonetheless, threatening rape or bodily injury against a fellow poster is beyond the pale. Who did this to our Ed? Is there some response we can register? How do we get Ed to come back?

Oh, and Doyle, don't sweat this any more. You're a good person, a solid person, and I think we all know this was a momentary lapse. God knows I've had 'em myself.

[Wolf Larsen]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diagon

He has socks?

Yes, but they're all crusty if you know what I mean.

[Uthrecht]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

Nonetheless, threatening rape or bodily injury against a fellow poster is beyond the pale. Who did this to our Ed? Is there some response we can register? How do we get Ed to come back?

From what I gathered, it happened over on the snark board, and probably the best response if it angers you would be to stop reading or posting on that (or if you don't, to continue to do so).

[Dragonlady]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

Okay, waitaminnit, from what I've read just in this thread, it appears that RadicalEdward (who is one of the wittiest, in-yer-face posters I've ever fallen in like with) has suffered some serious written abuse, either on this thread or another, and as a result has withdrawn from the discourse -- which makes aforementioned abuse a crime against the whole board.

No, I'm not being flippant. If this has happened, it is serious shit. I understand "we're all adults here," and we use screen names because we want some modicum of privacy and cover, and in some cases it helps us present a persona who is different from the real poster. Nonetheless, threatening rape or bodily injury against a fellow poster is beyond the pale. Who did this to our Ed? Is there some response we can register? How do we get Ed to come back?

Oh, and Doyle, don't sweat this any more. You're a good person, a solid person, and I think we all know this was a momentary lapse. God knows I've had 'em myself.

It appears that you have the situation correctly. It happened at the Snack Pit, where people who post here and/or people who post at the Dope also post. That's what bothered Ed, in my understanding - that someone who posts here felt that way and the other people who post here felt the post wasn't worth calling out the poster over. The fact that it happened on another board wasn't as important to her as the fact that it happened with people she posts with here.
I think the poster thought they were making a joke - being funny - running their mouths in front of their "friends". I don't think they would actually be a part of an attack on Ed, for the record. And I agree that she should stop reading the Snack Pit. But the fact that that sort of hostility exists bothers her and I can't say I blame her. Which is why I don't read there. I've gone on record as saying I think the Nonnies are spineless cowards who don't have the balls to own their own words.
I think Ed will come back here when things in her life settle down some. Along with the house debacle, she is in school and working, and doing repairs on the house and car and taking care of the critters, and, IIRC has some medical issues.