Welp, I'm going to jail. Thanks, spammers!

[backyard]

I went to Purdue. There's a good pharmacy school there. I don't remember much about OxyContin, except how to crush it to bypass the time release.

Oops.

I'll share a cell with you and we can take turns rubbing each others' backs.

[Old Overholt]

Don't worry Mr Giraffe! I started a legal defense fund for you!

So far I've collected 37 cents and an expired coupon for free celery at Tubby's "Wings-n-Things".

We've got your back!

Old Overholt

[Jaglavak]

Aw what the heck, make it 38 cents! Nothing's too good for Big G.

[Flying Saucerian]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K6-qJtp10k

[Chacoguy]

I already shared his crimespree in the other thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFZFiFCsTc8&feature=player_embedded

[mothedrine]

Originally Posted by Old Overholt

We've got your back!

Oh, abso-fucking-smurfly.

[KidVermicious]

Originally Posted by Old Overholt

We've got your back!

I think Bubba has his back now.

[Kat]

Giraffe, make sure you post what prison you get sent to, and your cell number, so we can all mail you inappropriate packages that will get your sentence extended.

Originally Posted by Argyle Sock

All he's gotta do is write them so the answer's always 'one'. Only one* word to remember. You'll be fine.

^*heh.

You're assuming that I can remember those...letter-containing...thingies....

[Argyle Sock]

Originally Posted by Scuba Ben

(Technically, Snorkle Maiden would provide the poop.)

Would it have a whole corn?

[mothedrine]

Originally Posted by Kat

Giraffe, make sure you post what prison you get sent to, and your cell number . . .

Silly raffer, cell phones aren't allowed in prison.

Originally Posted by Argyle Sock

Would it have a whole corn?

You were probably thinking 'corn hole' and just got it turned around.

But that gives me an idea. When G gets inside, he should run around the yard screaming 'I AM CORNHOLIO.'

That'll earn him some respect from the hard cases real quick. Oh yeah.

[DoubleJ]

Originally Posted by mothedrine

Silly raffer, cell phones aren't allowed in prison.

That's why you have to smuggle it in.

[ELITEOFKINGWARMAN88]

Invite them over for Cashews and Milk!

[Dragonlady]

Originally Posted by mothedrine

Silly raffer, cell phones aren't allowed in prison.

In one of the funnier Facebook Posts EVER, Sporks sister in law posted that she had been arrested and was in jail and would someone please bail her out. Turns out to be true. A cop let her use her cell phone for her "one phone call". She's there for filing a false domestic battery complaint and I say, let her stay.

Of course jail isn't prison.

[bufftabby]

I saw a from-jail Facebook post the other day as well. Also, if you don't act a fool, you can generally get more than one phone call. The first person on your list might not wanna bail you out, ya know?

[Cap'n Wak, Space Pirate]

Originally Posted by Flying Saucerian

I'd suggest hanging, but...

Problematical....

Don't be such a negative Nancy. They hanged a elephant; they can hang a giraffe.

[SmartAleq]

We'll just have to take him to Michigan, where the trees are just the right height!

[Mustard Stain]

I decided to start mowing my lawn with an ox-drawn plow. I didn't realize my neighbor's vines grew over the fence so bad. With his big-ass horns, my oxycontin the weeds. How am I supposed to get him out? He's tangled up pretty badly.

[KidVermicious]

What long long arms you have, MS.

[Mustard Stain]

:: sigh :: I will never have Khampy's great powers.

[Khampelf]

Originally Posted by Mustard Stain

:: sigh :: I will never have Khampy's great powers.

No, no. That was truly terrible. I would have tried to twist it a bit another directions so that 'contin' morphed 'counting' instead of 'caught in'. At first I read it as 'cuttin'. But 'caught in' is better than 'counting'. Well done.


Oh, and re: the OP. I think we know now why Giraffe left the country.


ETA - I for one hail our new pharmaceutical overlords.

[MsWisher]

He didn't escape! The pharma people got him and now he's addicted.

Proof!

The future of the boards is in his hands. We're DOOOOOOMED.

[mothedrine]

So . . . we're uhhh, still thinking that Croatia is a vacation huh.

Yeah, whatever. We can go with that.

[eleanorigby]

I will be your prison pen pal, Giraffe. I'm nice like that.

[Mako]

Coca-Cola Yoshimura Hyabusa 14-year-old croatia-muscle HGH-ripped whisky-snort sheep-spank StickyWhiteLovePiss sminky-pinky-bang-bang private horse show fanny punch Oxycontin disrespect Canadian opiates.

Pepsi.

[Kat]

Hey, Giraffe, can you post a picture of yourself in jail?

[TatSavitr]

Giraffe is giving away OxyContin? Where's the line?

[Mako]

Originally Posted by Kat

Hey, Giraffe, can you post a picture of yourself in jail?

"Jail" is far too close to "Jali" for comfort.

[nr_elove]

Originally Posted by ELITEOFKINGWARMAN88

Invite them over for Cashews and Milk!

[Chimpan-A]

Hey Raff, I know a couple people currently in jail, maybe they know someone who knows someone who can slip you an extra, umm, something or other. Just snow the secret handshake or password or whatever, you'll know what to do.

[mothedrine]

Do they really still call it a "handshake" if they don't use their hands?

[Chimpan-A]

Geez, not those people. Just trying to get our Raffe some extra oxycontin crackers or something.

[Jaglavak]

Don't you be calling me cracker! Prison riot!!!

[Chimpan-A]

Your cellie is the rat. You think that bright orange jumpsuit just appeared out of nowhere?