A long expected snarking. Durpbo Adams' eleventy first thread

[Someone]

FLyer, what's his problem?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, but he still can't keep that uniform from riding up.

The Picard Maneuver was what we called it back then.

[Someone]

I once saw Patrick Stewart star in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf at the Guthrie theater in Minneapolis. He not only remembered all of his lines, he remembered that for the purposes of the play his name was "George" not "Patrick". For example, somebody might say "Hi, George," and he would nod, as if that was his name. It was impressive that he remembered for the whole three-odd hours that his name was now "George."

[Someone]

What Flyer doesn't understand is that to be a condescending know-it-all you have to know at least a whit more than the average humanzee.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

FLyer, what's his problem?

This post and the rest of his pit thread will help explain his particular dysfunction.

Originally Posted by Someone

Porn of 16 year old girls should be legal.

"Other than the child porn, in what way is he a creep?"

It's dangerous to seek help if you're a pedophile.

More whining that kids old enough to drive can't be in porn.

"The whole concept of childhood innocence is a modern invention", in response to a claim that child molesters should be in prison.

Most teenage girls dress like sluts.

Indirectly related, but...12 year olds are basically adults, and should be able to be executed.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

FLyer, what's his problem?

Suicide my Mode going on right now. This will be entertaining.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Suicide my Mode going on right now. This will be entertaining.

A warning for an "abrasive tone?"

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

FLyer, what's his problem?

He'd like all girls and women to dress in burqas. Girls can remove burqas when performing in kiddie porn.

Also, homosexuals are never satisfied with their political achievements. They always come back demanding MOAW.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Suicide my Mode going on right now. This will be entertaining.

Coming just a few days after his warning for this bizarre mini-freakout, I'd say odds are good of at least a suspension. Fingers crossed!

[Someone]

Also note acey's poor understanding of how life insurance works. Surprising that the father of two daughters wouldn't have carefully checked his own policy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

FLyer, what's his problem?

Fundy Xtian, (who's said that most other fundies are too liberal) and Chem-Trail CT nutter. I'd say it's safe to assume he's not got it all together upstairs.

[Someone]

Poor "whipping boy flyer!" He also got a mod note today in the actors and their lines thread.

[Someone]

Lol, the pee in public thread linked above reminded me of another thread with a similar theme by poster brewha.

Summary: OP is taking a 550 mile road trip and asks about using a Stadium Pal or adult diapers, or just peeing in a Gatorade bottle so he doesn't have to stop. Last option is dismissed pretty quickly. Okay, not so weird at first, but when most posters say "dude, just stop at a gas station like everyone else" he gets angry and defensive. He also says he has experience with adult diapers, implying he wore one at a party or something. Some more responses saying to just stop to pee and he gets mad again and says this memorable line:

Originally Posted by Someone

ahem..

I'm asking about car-pissing - not thread shitting. If you don't care to advise me on how to pee in my car, re-read post #1 and/or #12.

Geez.

He mentions adult diapers in almost all his posts in that thread, including this post:

Originally Posted by Someone

Shark Sandwhich, don't underestimate the technology of modern adult diapers.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure dude is one of those diaper fetishists and just wanted to talk about that. He kept getting angry everytime someone suggested alternatives to that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Also note acey's poor understanding of how life insurance works. Surprising that the father of two daughters wouldn't have carefully checked his own policy.

Hey, at least he might actually have an insurance policy. He won't understand it, how it works, or why to have it, but at least it's real*. Unlike those daughters.

*maybe.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Hey, at least he might actually have an insurance policy. He won't understand it, how it works, or why to have it, but at least it's real*. Unlike those daughters.

*maybe.

Wait until he finds out he has to die.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Lol, the pee in public thread linked above reminded me of another thread with a similar theme by poster brewha.

Summary: OP is taking a 550 mile road trip and asks about using a Stadium Pal or adult diapers, or just peeing in a Gatorade bottle so he doesn't have to stop. Last option is dismissed pretty quickly. Okay, not so weird at first, but when most posters say "dude, just stop at a gas station like everyone else" he gets angry and defensive. He also says he has experience with adult diapers, implying he wore one at a party or something. Some more responses saying to just stop to pee and he gets mad again and says this memorable line:

He mentions adult diapers in almost all his posts in that thread, including this post:

Yeah. I'm pretty sure dude is one of those diaper fetishists and just wanted to talk about that. He kept getting angry everytime someone suggested alternatives to that.

This was one of those rare times when NOT answering the question was actually the right thing to do. Normally we snark on posters who do that.

(And like I asked, I would think you'd get diaper rash or something from sitting in your own piss)

[Someone]

I just realized there's a brewha and a brujaja.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Coming just a few days after his warning for this bizarre mini-freakout, I'd say odds are good of at least a suspension. Fingers crossed!

Damn, I hope so.

[Someone]

If he does go out in a blaze of idiotic glory I hope he goes BIG. Not just one more churlish post that gets him banned, but a memorable and entertaining self-imolation.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Wait until he finds out he has to die.

Hey, you've got a non-sock account. You can troll him without getting mod-reamed. Remind him of that fact. DOOOO EEEET!!!! You KNOW you WANT TOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Someone]

And tell him the ins. co. won't pay until he sends them a copy of his death certificate along with his claim.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I just realized there's a brewha and a brujaja.

Both are interchangeable drooling morons, so it really doesn't matter that they are not the same person.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Both are interchangeable drooling morons, so it really doesn't matter that they are not the same person.

Not all that familiar with the latter, so I'll take your word for it.

[Someone]

Hey look. This great country of ours was founded on the concept of individual stupidity. We'll have none of this group morons stuff.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

too sad to snark.

Worst. Dead Kennedy Song Title. Ever.

[Someone]

With all this talk of stoopud lawyers, missing Bricker, and epic flameouts, let's have a retrosnark that combines all three and watch beryl_mooncalf go !

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

With all this talk of stoopud lawyers, missing Bricker, and epic flameouts, let's have a retrosnark that combines all three and watch beryl_mooncalf go !

No link! 10 demerits!

[Someone]

here's your stupid link, you... demeritor!

oops

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Also note acey's poor understanding of how life insurance works. Surprising that the father of two daughters wouldn't have carefully checked his own policy.

This reminds me of the time Acey asked if Medicare will pay for his mom's long-term care. He's worried that some greedy nursing home will gobble up his inheritance, and wants the government to pay so he can keep all the muneez. He doesn't get the answer he wants.

Later on, a Doper points out that the Ace has once again forgotten that he has a wife and kids. Acey responds by Brave Sir Robining from the thread.

[Someone]

A past Flyer Freakout: People aren't paying their bills right. Sending checks in the mail was good enough for Jesus Christ, so it's good enough for you.

[Someone]

Not really snark but this piece of spammer English must be preserved.

[product] packages additionally involve steps that boom your metabolic price, that's crucial in burning extra fats. The result, consequently, is everlasting as long as you avoid reverting to your vintage bad conduct.

ETA:
Different spammer, same style.

[product]of fellows who presently suffer from this situation, especially after attaining certain age of their existence, so you can locate these dietary supplements and medicinal drugs to be had in any leading save on your neighborhood. while searching the famous shops, you would possibly come across huge variant of such merchandise which could prove beneficial in treating your condition immediately.

I know it's to evade filters but this is art.

[Someone]

It's still more coherent than Leo Bloom, Idiot.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

here's your stupid link, you... demeritor!

oops

Isn't a demeritor the supernatural lawyer villain in the LucasFilms prequel to Harry Potter featuring a boring trade war between the muggle and wizarding worlds?

[Someone]

I've come to the conclusion that it's the same 15 to 20 people posting on the derp. Is it really that dead over there? It's like stupid is on vacation, even the Xmas break trolls didn't show up this year.

Sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands. Then the snarkers run over there and call you a troll. We need a better union with more respect for the trolls.

[Someone]

What are you trying to tell us?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've come to the conclusion that it's the same 15 to 20 people posting on the derp. Is it really that dead over there? It's like stupid is on vacation, even the Xmas break trolls didn't show up this year.

Sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands. Then the snarkers run over there and call you a troll. We need a better union with more respect for the trolls.

Go back through any old thread and see how many names have "banned" as their user title. Banning is an important tool for messageboards, and some of their bans (Aldberan, Dio, Wildest Bill) were fine, but a huge number of people were banned because Lynn had pepper* in her panties or Twickster felt like it would be fun or whatever. The violations that people broke were often very minor ones.

And they killed what little remained of the board after P2P.


*Did you know that she was allergic to pepper? If she even touches pepper she poos her pants. She's got pics. Wanna s ee?

[Someone]

Psttttttt. If you see a new troll, use code words instead of troll. (I prefer "enlightened")

This is in the Snarker's Handbook. We must enable the trolls, not help eradicate them by pointing them out, less we run out of any new snark. We're cutting our own throat when we do that. Old snark isn't half as good as new snark.


PS, #2 No pics of lynn pppppplease.

[Someone]

New thread.

I'm gonna assume you are physically plain, "imperfect" or outright homely...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...why haven't you gone ahead and had plastic surgery, breast enhancement, hair plugs, etc yet?


First answer;

Because I hate people who judge others on their looks. I don't give a flying shit about looks, my own or others.

Second answer;

Does not apply to me but among the reasons people might have:

1) Insufficient funds for said surgery

2) Being a poor risk for surgery

3) Not wanting to go through the pain of surgery and recovery

4) Having other priorities than conforming to your bias regarding appearances.

Guess who posted those comments. 2 answers required.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...1#post21404221

some potential here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New thread.

I'm gonna assume you are physically plain, "imperfect" or outright homely...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...why haven't you gone ahead and had plastic surgery, breast enhancement, hair plugs, etc yet?


First answer;

Because I hate people who judge others on their looks. I don't give a flying shit about looks, my own or others.

Second answer;

Does not apply to me but among the reasons people might have:

1) Insufficient funds for said surgery

2) Being a poor risk for surgery

3) Not wanting to go through the pain of surgery and recovery

4) Having other priorities than conforming to your bias regarding appearances.

Guess who posted those comments. 2 answers required.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...1#post21404221

some potential here.

Got the first and missed the second.

[Someone]

Guess the poster:

After I snapped off my wrist bone, I could not bend the fingers on that hand at all. Two years later, when I could finally flip the bird with both hands, I was so happy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Isn't a demeritor the supernatural lawyer villain in the LucasFilms prequel to Harry Potter featuring a boring trade war between the muggle and wizarding worlds?

That's why I appeased him. If I didn't, he'd have started rambling on about butterbeer taxation and gnome labor laws until we all died of boredom.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

*Did you know that she was allergic to pepper? If she even touches pepper she poos her pants. She's got pics. Wanna s ee?

Because she wears underpants and only underpants around the house, because she's got to keep the cat hair out of her clamarama somehow.

Happy New Year

[Someone]

Thanks for the visuals.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Guess the poster:

After I snapped off my wrist bone, I could not bend the fingers on that hand at all. Two years later, when I could finally flip the bird with both hands, I was so happy.

Walkin' down the street,
Flippin' the double bird
To everyone I meet
HEY HEY I'm -------*


*Sung to the tune of the Monkees Theme.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because she wears underpants and only underpants around the house, because she's got to keep the cat hair out of her clamarama somehow.

Happy New Year

Did someone mention grilled cheese...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Got the first and missed the second.

I had just the opposite score.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Did someone mention grilled cheese...

I thought that was Broomie...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I had just the opposite score.

Same here. I found the second one really easy/obvious the first one had no clue B

[Someone]

C

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Guess the poster:

After I snapped off my wrist bone, I could not bend the fingers on that hand at all. Two years later, when I could finally flip the bird with both hands, I was so happy.

Got it at "snapped". I know some people here don't like DrunkySmurf, but I love him. There are times he completely cracks me up, like here:

If you snapped off the wrist bone how would you even have a second hand and set of fingers with which to flip the bird? Did you keep the snapped off hand in a jar for two years?

Snotty, humorless response in 3, 2, 1...