In Derp thread number 92, the Raffers snarked, the Derpers blew

[Someone]

New thread

[Someone]

Smells just like the old one.

[Someone]

Sorry, that was me.

[Someone]

Well, you know what they say. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blew.

[Someone]

I object to this title on account of the meter being off. VT's original suggestion was "Durp thread number 92..." which has the correct number of syllables. Somebody fix it or it's going to annoy me for the next thousand posts.

[Someone]

Ok

[Someone]

The cephalopod is right. It's my fault. Please fix.

[Someone]

i need to quit posting in that shags thread i think i'm getting a little too worked up

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The cephalopod is right. It's my fault. Please fix.

Yikes! For a moment you had me worried that octopus (the Doper who is insisting on PROOF* that Roy Moore fooled around with an underage girl) had found his way here.

*He hasn't yet explained what sort of "proof" would convince him. Video footage taken by a time-traveler, I guess.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yikes! For a moment you had me worried that octopus (the Doper who is insisting on PROOF* that Roy Moore fooled around with an underage girl) had found his way here.

*He hasn't yet explained what sort of "proof" would convince him. Video footage taken by a time-traveler, I guess.

That clown wouldn't be convinced if he was Quantum Leaped into the girl's body.

[Someone]

Decent thread title.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

i need to quit posting in that shags thread i think i'm getting a little too worked up

He's either a troll or just a complete self-centered jagoff. I, for one, don't believe a fucking word he says. Either way, it's best just to leave it alone.

[Someone]

For years, he's told that near-rape by deception story, acting like it was no big deal, just an amusing prank. Now that he's being piled on, he's trying to claim that he was the victim in there. He's desparate.

[Someone]

drad dog is given a $500 HP inkjet, wants to know how he can avoid ever changing ink cartridges.

Are there any hacks for a color printer?
To avoid changing the color cartridges? I just inherited this HP officejet 6600. I'm not going to be buying color cartridges in this life anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I object to this title on account of the meter being off. VT's original suggestion was "Durp thread number 92..." which has the correct number of syllables. Somebody fix it or it's going to annoy me for the next thousand posts.

I agree! @expectopatronum, as the OP of this thread you have editing ability to correct the title as described above. Plz to fix ASAP so the OCD people do not eat their own heads in frustration kthxbai.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

drad dog is given a $500 HP inkjet, wants to know how he can avoid ever changing ink cartridges.

I think I see what he's getting at here, and it's pretty valid. I have a printer which does color, but I literally NEVER print in color so there's no reason why they should ever run out--and yet, the printer insists that I replace the yellow cartridge even though it's never been tapped. It's giving the printer an error message and no matter how spurious it is, the printer doggedly insists on bugging me about it when I'm printing using the black ink cartridge ONLY. Some printers will not allow you to print in black ink if any of the color cartridges are returning an error. I think this is intentional on the part of the printer manufacturers, who clean up on overpriced refills. If there were some way to change the firmware of the printer such that it no longer thinks the color cartridges exist I would do it in a heartbeat.

[Someone]

In an effort to prove she's not a sock, Beckdawrek posts her entire freakin' autobiography.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...postcount=4453

[Someone]

i don't know how to change the thread title i tried but it didn't work

[Someone]

Edit the original post, it gives the option of changing the title as well.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

For years, he's told that near-rape by deception story, acting like it was no big deal, just an amusing prank. Now that he's being piled on, he's trying to claim that he was the victim in there. He's desparate.

I don’t believe for one minute that any of these women exist. This reeks of the Jon Lovitz character who was “married” to Morgan Fairchild.

He goes on and on about his kids (which borders on Trumpedque creepiness), but I’m pretty sure he mentioned in one thread how he was taking them on vacation and was beyond desperate to get a Tinder date there, also. Priorities: he has none.

[Someone]

Religious wackjob kanicbird weighs in on why people wear strong scents.

To me those who wear a strong sent usually are trying to hide the rotting of (usually) their (spiritual) soul (which stinks to high heaven). It is a spiritual stench which they can not avoid but try to mask it with a strong physical scents. There is a exception, those who have been sexually violated, as they are trying to hide the scent of the person who violated them.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Edit the original post, it gives the option of changing the title as well.

i did that but it just changed the title of the post not the thread

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

i did that but it just changed the title of the post not the thread

You may have to show some false respect to Fenris.

[Someone]

i don't want to do that

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

i don't want to do that

You know how after falling off your bicycle and you have a large patch of road rash right on your left shoulder blade and all the blood and pus has clotted and dried, gluing the wound dressing to the festering mass? And you need to remove it so it can be re-bandaged?
It's just like that. Just brace yourself and yank.

[Someone]

Man, did you ever sleep through first aid. Get Rebo to fix it. Rebo can fix anything.

[Someone]

Well, I ain't proud--hey @Fenris, @hajario, @Rebo, could you fix the title so we don't have to hate it forever?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, I ain't proud--hey @Fenris, @hajario, @Rebo, could you fix the title so we don't have to hate it forever?

It won't be forever. Only another 972 posts. More or less.

[Someone]

Don't you oppress me, mate, I'll hate it for AS LONG AS I FEEL LIKE!

[Someone]

this is my thread I think we all know who's in charge here

[Someone]

Pffth, you can't even get the title changed to what it's supposed to be!

[Someone]

Aceplace vs Mushrooms. If a dog could type, it would start threads like this.

[Someone]

Saved by Subfusc.*



*I'll take 'Words I Thought I Would Never Say' for $500, Alex.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It won't be forever. Only another 972 posts. More or less.

Done, you OCD raffers.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Religious wackjob kanicbird weighs in on why people wear strong scents.

And five posts later, we learn that jturd has no use for deodorant. Stands to reason, I guess.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Done, you OCD raffers.

[Someone]

so no one else is bothered by the comma splice? Right, just me then.

[Someone]

That Shagnasty tomfoolery -- he just gets more and more idiotic with each thread. Now he's getting dates with (Jewish!) heiresses, countesses, women of high society; just all sorts of fantastic, wonderful women. And the Jewish thing is important because he suddenly has Jewish heritage and he'd love to have a Jewish girlfriend! I find it most telling that he states that he enjoys going out with all these women but he has to throw so much money at them that it's just too expensive. Much like a stripper only likes you while the money is flowing, apparently heiresses are the same way, I guess.


ETA... Waitaminute:

Originally Posted by Someone

In an effort to prove she's not a sock, Beckdawrek posts her entire freakin' autobiography.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...postcount=4453

Originally Posted by Someone

do live in Arkansas, I have 2 daughters; aged 18 and 26, I have 1 son aged 30. I am married 30yrs. I have 2 dogs, 2 cats . I live in a very rural area

Have we... Have we found Acey's wife?!

[Someone]

guys i got mod noted this is an outrage i demand you all fight for my honor. For gondor! Ahhhhh.....eh I'm bored now

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

guys i got mod noted this is an outrage i demand you all fight for my honor. For gondor! Ahhhhh.....eh I'm bored now

A bit more than a mere 'note':

Originally Posted by Someone

Moderator Warning

[Someone]

I love the fact that Shaggy keeps saying, "This happened so long ago, I don't know why it keeps getting brought up here. I told an amusing anecdote about kissing a girl when I was a kid, and it keeps haunting me." He doesn't get the fact that he was the one who made the story keep reappearing by posting it in multiple threads over the years. And he also doesn't get why "making out with someone under false pretenses is a very bad thing." He even says he knows from sexual assault because he was really sexual assaulted by Teh Gays and it was no big deal.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Done, you OCD raffers.

I liked it the way it was.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

A bit more than a mere 'note':

well how about that i did get warned....fair enough I suppose i was veering into pit territory with my responses

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

so no one else is bothered by the comma splice? Right, just me then.

Yup. Just you.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

ETA... Waitaminute:

Have we... Have we found Acey's wife?!

Acey has stated that his daughters are the same age (though not, apparently, twins; he doesn't seem to have thought through that part of it). His son was sucked into the fourth dimension at some point and Acey copes with that trauma by pretending he never existed.

Also, Acey lives in Little Rock, which according to him is a Major Metropolitan Area.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That Shagnasty tomfoolery -- he just gets more and more idiotic with each thread. Now he's getting dates with (Jewish!) heiresses, countesses, women of high society; just all sorts of fantastic, wonderful women.

You're makin' out with school kids
Winos and heads of state
You've even made it with the lady
Who puts the little plastic robins
On the Christmas cakes
Butcher's assistants and bellhops
You've had 'em all here and there
Children of God and their joy strings
International women with no body hair

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Acey has stated that his daughters are the same age (though not, apparently, twins; he doesn't seem to have thought through that part of it). His son was sucked into the fourth dimension at some point and Acey copes with that trauma by pretending he never existed.

Also, Acey lives in Little Rock, which according to him is a Major Metropolitan Area.

I'm going to apply Acey logic here to prove how Beckdatruckupbeckdafuckup could be his wife:
<ACEY> The daughters are the same age, but not twins. One girl is 18 and the other 26. When the youngest was 8, the oldest was twice her age. But now it's 10 years later, so obviously the youngest is the same age as the oldest, or older, because 10 is bigger than 2. The son is now 30 and is well past the age all good sons leave the family to start a family of their own, never to return again; that's just basic logic.

Little Rock is a major metropolitan area, but since all the rest of Arkansas is rural, LR is a rural major metropolitan area. </ACEY>

See, through Acey-vision, it all makes perfect sense!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

See, through Acey-vision, it all makes perfect sense!

Through Acey-vision, Ed Zotti's board management style makes perfect sense.

[Someone]

[Someone]

"How to omit signature by default?"

I'm sooo tempted to burn a sock to say "Stop using the 'Ed Zotti's personal abortion' skin and go back to the original, unruined one."

ETA: Oh, Look! Just in time for Ed to announce another round of ass-reaming for the new skin!