144: Oh yeah, Snark goes on, long after the thrill of Durpin' is gone

[Someone]

GO!

[Someone]

First! This and the last title most definitely do not suck.

[Someone]

Second! Carrying over from the last thread, I'm 98% sure Jasmine is a guy. I thought he was a she for obvious reasons, but one time I saw him correct someone's misgendering of him. I think he enjoys it.

[Someone]

Hey!

[Someone]

They snark on.

[Someone]

It's the wrong way around.

Oh yeah, the Durp goes on, long after the thrill of snarkin' is gone.

[Someone]

Threads seem to have been cornfielded, because the links aren't working for me.

[Someone]

I already miss the old snark thread

[Someone]

I know it's a different song, but I keep hearing Sonny and Cher "The Beat Goes On"

[Someone]

WORST MOVIE TITLE EVAR!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I know it's a different song, but I keep hearing Sonny and Cher "The Beat Goes On"

La dee da dee dee. la dee da dee da

[Someone]

thanks for the earworm, snarkers

[Someone]

Yeah it's kind of a sucky snack title but I miss Fenris' epically bad titles.

[Someone]

Longing for Fenris???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE

[Someone]

Why can't I quote posts from the previous thread??????!!!!!! ONEONEONEONE

@AHunter3 said:

People keep leaving these soapboxes lying around and I like to stand on them




or in them or something

Are you a cat?
https://gizmodo.com/scientists-find-...-ev-1846828029

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Threads seem to have been cornfielded, because the links aren't working for me.

Me three. The links to the thread that Dapper Dan Man posted about Jasmine liking pickles, or something, keeps directing me to a

"Oops! That page doesn’t exist or is private."

page.

Is the Doop borked again?

[Someone]

Manboobsplaining:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex...laining/942036

It hasn't dooped yet, but there is still hope.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

La dee da dee dee. la dee da dee da

Durpy durpy dee, durpy durpy dah.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Manboobsplaining:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ex...laining/942036

It hasn't dooped yet, but there is still hope.

Only 21 posts and it already features some "not all mensplainers" commentary from Princhester, evoking the inevitable Tsplaining rebuttal.

[Someone]

Ah, the "I'm not sexist, I'm a pompous asshole to everyone" defense. That one never seems to work.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Durpy durpy dee, durpy durpy dah.

Rob Schneider stars in a movie about the Derp:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why can't I quote posts from the previous thread??????!!!!!! ONEONEONEONE

Because the thread is closed. Click on the post number at top right corner instead.

[Someone]

Stupid asshole Dr.Dumbfuck complains incessantly about a show he hasn't watched. A show he refuses to watch because idiots need everything spelled out in their black/white world. He's such a tiresome prick.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Rob Schneider stars in a movie about the Derp:

That was such a great movie.

Originally Posted by Someone

Because the thread is closed. Click on the post number at top right corner instead.

You're such a snacksplainer.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

... "The Beat Goes On"

The Kings - This Beat Goes On Much better play on those words...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because the thread is closed. Click on the post number at top right corner instead.

Thanks.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Stupid asshole Dr.Dumbfuck complains incessantly about a show he hasn't watched. A show he refuses to watch because idiots need everything spelled out in their black/white world. He's such a tiresome prick.

They need to enact a new RULE. Along with the "Don't be a jerk." rule they need a "Don't be a douche." rule. And then ban Drdumbmouth for being a fart nose.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Second! Carrying over from the last thread, I'm 98% sure Jasmine is a guy. I thought he was a she for obvious reasons, but one time I saw him correct someone's misgendering of him. I think he enjoys it.

For a long time I assumed Jasmine was male, but there are posts where she claims to be female, like this one:

Originally Posted by Someone

The question made me feel awkward at first because, though female, I’ve never changed a single diaper in my life.

and this one:

Originally Posted by Someone

I was well into my 11th year when I really began to understand the power I had as a female over boys.

The weird thing is that Jasmine's posts sound male to me, and when somebody here on the GB said "Jasmine's a guy," I believed it.

[Someone]

HeffaRoo starts a thread to:

Originally Posted by Someone

I just wanted to take a moment to thank **codinghorror** for the many ways that he helps the SDMB.

BigT comes in at post 3 and BigT's all over her telling her what a horrible human being she is for saying nice things about codinghorror and that what he would do is ppppppppbbbbbbb;bb;;bbbbblblblllbhlhllhlhknfrljfnk jbgrkhablkbjrfejkrfbkjbkjsbdfjsfnkj

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...-sdmb/942112/3

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

HeffaRoo starts a thread to:

BigT comes in at post 3 and BigT's all over her telling her what a horrible human being she is for saying nice things about codinghorror and that what he would do is ppppppppbbbbbbb;bb;;bbbbblblblllbhlhllhlhknfrljfnk jbgrkhablkbjrfejkrfbkjbkjsbdfjsfnkj

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...-sdmb/942112/3

Unless there is some contact I am missing, BigT is losing it here. He would normally be wagging his finger at a post like that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BigT comes in...

The 'T' stands for 'Tedious'.

[Someone]

BigT sounds concerned.

[Someone]

It's not a meltdown yet, but it sounds like he could be working his way up to one.

It shows how socially-stunted BigT is that he thought taking a huge dump in that thread was an appropriate thing to do.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

and this one:

The weird thing is that Jasmine's posts sound male to me, and when somebody here on the GB said "Jasmine's a guy," I believed it.

Yeah, the "power I have over boys" 🙄 bit is what the alpha bitch from a high school movie says. A woman who's hot enough to manipulate men doesn't need to announce it. Jasmine does write in a very "what would a chick say" manner now that you point it out...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, the "power I have over boys" 🙄 bit is what the alpha bitch from a high school movie says. A woman who's hot enough to manipulate men doesn't need to announce it. Jasmine does write in a very "what would a chick say" manner now that you point it out...

Just for fun, I ran a few of Jasmine's posts through one of those online gender analyzers. They all came up as masculine. Of course, that doesn't prove anything.

[Someone]

This was also weird:

The question made me feel awkward at first because, though female, I’ve never changed a single diaper in my life.

Men can and do change diapers. Why is being "female" relevant here?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This was also weird:

Men can and do change diapers. Why is being "female" relevant here?

In the long run, women change far more diapers than men and I think diaper changing is associated with "The Maternal Instinct". I think it is a legit thing to say. Probably, hopefully, becoming less so, but surely legit if over 50.

[Someone]

I guess the takeaway is that Jasmine might be full of shit. Hardly a unique position regarding anyone online.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This was also weird:

Men can and do change diapers. Why is being "female" relevant here?

I read it as meaning never wanted kids

ETA: you couldn't accuse me of following closely here, however

[Someone]

I'm female, over 60 and have never changed a nappy. I don't have kids of my own and whenever I've been around other peoples' if the mum hasn't been doing it then there has always been a male (only sometimes the dad) keen to prove their willingness and ability to tackle the once female task. And I just let them

[Someone]

Drop zone asks for more spank bait...

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pu...ce-when/942190

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Drop zone asks for more spank bait...

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pu...ce-when/942190

Of course, the derpers (for the most part) totally believe him, even though he can't keep his story straight.

I expect that Bijou Drains will show up and claim, for the nth time, that local TV stations sometimes show porn after playing the national anthem and signing off.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why can't I quote posts from the previous thread??????!!!!!! ONEONEONEONE

@AHunter3 said:

Are you a cat?
https://gizmodo.com/scientists-find-...-ev-1846828029

Miaow!! *scowls at troz, hisses*

[Someone]

sprays water into thread

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Of course, the derpers (for the most part) totally believe him, even though he can't keep his story straight.

I expect that Bijou Drains will show up and claim, for the nth time, that local TV stations sometimes show porn after playing the national anthem and signing off.

Wait, WHAT?

[Someone]

About 20 years ago some ass monkey won a court case about the definition of obscenity and the broadcasting thereof. So for awhile there was a fuck hour on late night cable TV where this skinny old guy and his chubby old girlfriend doinked like bunnies on camera. The FCC couldn't shut him down but finally managed to get them to knock it off by asking nice. Hence the urban legend.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Wait, WHAT?

It's just a rumor.

Originally Posted by Someone

I’ve heard rumors that late at night after local TV stations shut down for testing they would start back up and play porn. Might be just an urban legend I think almost all local stations are now on 24/7.

It's something he heard.

Originally Posted by Someone

I’ve heard stories of guys putting porn on at 3 AM at regular stations during testing. It could be they were watching porn and hit the wrong button.

It totally happened.

Originally Posted by Someone

Many US TV stations used to play the anthem late at night when they signed off at 1 or 2 AM. Now most stay on all night.

And sometimes they would sign back on later to test equipment and broadcast porn. A few guys got caught doing that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

sprays water into thread

HISS!!!!!! EVIL HUMAN!!!!! (yes, i chose this avvie because it's a freakin cat.)

Hello Kitty. She's nice, but if you cross her, She'll shred ya!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Drop zone asks for more spank bait...

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pu...ce-when/942190

What a strange thread. Dropzone wipes the slobber off his chin long enough to ask for more commercials with pubes, Mundane Super Hero complaining about uncensored movies, Chefguy clutches his pearls over pubes being shown on TV, there's a lot of chatter about the slow death of disco bush, and BigTedious finger-wags us all for picking of Dropzone.

The really confusing part is, if he's talking about the same commercial I'm thinking of, no actual pubes are shown. The model is wearing a bikini bottom and is probably already Barbie doll smooth.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BigTedious finger-wags us all for picking of Dropzone.

I called him out for it, too.

Originally Posted by Someone

And it's very tedious of you to constantly wag your finger at people.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pu...hen/942190/81?

I got mod noted, but it was worth it.