I've never successfully maintained a blog for any extended period of time. However, because I am a sufferer of mental health problems, I feel it is my duty to at least attempt to share my situation and help to do my part (all be it ever so small) to edge our society away from stigmatizing us.
I don't know how well I'll do chronicling my daily struggles here, but I'll certainly be committed to giving it my best shot. Along the way, if it only assists even just one person, any fallout will be worth it and, at the end of the day, if there's comfort / support / aid / whatever to be had, it'll definitely make life better for me as well.
Sometimes just knowing you're not alone is enough. Here you are most emphatically not and if you ever need someone to only listen, please feel free to email me. Because I'm glad you've stopped by and you are always welcome. Via this, maybe we can all make it to a brighter, more functional day. So read on my brothers and sisters....
Forever peace,
Kemi~
faithfool@gmail.com
Social Group: Unsanity
I don't know how well I'll do chronicling my daily struggles here, but I'll certainly be committed to giving it my best shot. Along the way, if it only assists even just one person, any fallout will be worth it and, at the end of the day, if there's comfort / support / aid / whatever to be had, it'll definitely make life better for me as well.
Sometimes just knowing you're not alone is enough. Here you are most emphatically not and if you ever need someone to only listen, please feel free to email me. Because I'm glad you've stopped by and you are always welcome. Via this, maybe we can all make it to a brighter, more functional day. So read on my brothers and sisters....
Forever peace,
Kemi~
faithfool@gmail.com
Social Group: Unsanity
Ever Have One of THOSE Days?
Posted 3rd May 2009 at 04:40 PM by joyfool
Where you just don't feel like posting to your blog or doing much of anything else? Well, if I remember correctly, I used to have those before I ever got 'sick.' But now days with me on the mend, I never know if these are just normal par-for-the-course occurances or if it heralds something deeper that I'll need to address.
So here I am hoping it's just a funk instead.
I don't know what to talk about today. I haven't felt like doing much around the house, although the groceries got bought and put up and various other bits got straightened. I was planning on trying to cook a Mexican Cheesecake, but I'm so questionable in my baking skills that I just don't know if I feel up to another failure right now. That's just one example too....
Am I being too defeatist?
Perhaps all this stems from being anxious about leaving the program. You've all seen the amount of work that I've put into making I have plenty and proper aftercare, but I'm still nervous that it might not be enough to keep me from falling back into the abyss. And I know longer ever want to have a negative attitude about things, but from these trees, the perspective seems to scream "Realist!" rather than doom and gloom gal.
I dunno. Help me understand better and say a prayer for me that tomorrow will be a better day. Or at least one I can cope with.
As always, thanks for being my shoulder to lean on. You guys are more reliable than Gibraltar.
Kemi~
So here I am hoping it's just a funk instead.
I don't know what to talk about today. I haven't felt like doing much around the house, although the groceries got bought and put up and various other bits got straightened. I was planning on trying to cook a Mexican Cheesecake, but I'm so questionable in my baking skills that I just don't know if I feel up to another failure right now. That's just one example too....
Am I being too defeatist?
Perhaps all this stems from being anxious about leaving the program. You've all seen the amount of work that I've put into making I have plenty and proper aftercare, but I'm still nervous that it might not be enough to keep me from falling back into the abyss. And I know longer ever want to have a negative attitude about things, but from these trees, the perspective seems to scream "Realist!" rather than doom and gloom gal.
I dunno. Help me understand better and say a prayer for me that tomorrow will be a better day. Or at least one I can cope with.
As always, thanks for being my shoulder to lean on. You guys are more reliable than Gibraltar.
Kemi~
Total Comments 5
Comments
-
yes, some days you won't want to do anything.. do you want to know what I do when I get that way, and things need to be done? I call a freind and talk to them while I do housework. barring that, having them come over and talk to me while I do it helps too.Posted 3rd May 2009 at 09:56 PM by GreyCloud9 
-
I think that's the worst thing about being prone to being ill: you can never quite trust yourself or your emotions. Yes, it is normal for people to be a bit blah and not feel like doing things, and for most people that's as far as it goes - I'm sure that's the case for you today, you're just noticing your moods more, because you're healthy enough to do it and it's a time of change and anxiety for you. As for how I deal with the niggling doubts? Actually, I do it badly, I just wait and see - if it's just a bad day (and they do happen on a one-off basis, even to sick people
) it will go away by tomorrow, or the next day, and in the meantime, I'll cope with it like I cope with most days - make a list of things I have to do and grit my teeth and get through them. Smoking more on the bad days, admittedly :P
But I'm not a good example to use, I don't think - I don't have very good coping skills for dealing with the big crashes, so my way of dealing with big or small crashes is roughly the same, ostrich-like manner, coupled with white-knuckle determination. Other people here might have better ideas - in my mind, it doesn't actually matter much: you're doing what you can to deal with the big crashes, you have new coping skills from this course, you're doing it all already on an ongoing basis. Is there *more* that you would do, if you knew this was a big crash rather than just a blah day? If so, what more? Is that something you can put in place, just in case, to head it off?
Oh, and I've rambled too much - but I just wanted to say that relentless optimism isn't actually a requirement for mental health - it's ok to be negative about some things, and it's not a sign that you're crashing, it's just a sign that some things really do suckPosted 3rd May 2009 at 11:44 PM by Nicole
-
It's perfectly okay to have "one of those days" - but I definitely see what you're saying. How do you know if it's just one of those days, or if the funk is gonna try to stick around for the long haul?
You're stronger than you were before, Kemi. Be bummed for a day - it's okay. But try your best to not let it hang around for long. It's gotta be disconcerting to be leaving the program, but think of it this way: You've gained so much from it, and now it is time to use what you've learned! Plus, it means that you're healing and learning to deal with life with the new you!
I think when something fundamentally drastic happens to us - life-changing or life-altering events - we wind up having to learn how to deal with all that life has to offer all over again. Kinda like kids do when they're young and going through maturation - dealing with all the emotions and learning how to handle them. Does that make sense?
You're doing so well, hon. Take heart. You're going to work through this like you have so many things lately. You can do this!Posted 4th May 2009 at 03:49 AM by Dazzling White Diamonds
-
I find what usually gets me out of moods is when a family member bitterly saying something to the effect "you need to go back on anti depressants" (I have been off for five years) I will then look on them and say that NORMAL people are allowed their moods, and I have *insert problem here* to deal with. It is as much a reminder to me as it is to them. It does get easier, alot easier. Just remember that you aren't a Vulcan, you are a human being.
Watch others in your life, and their moods, it helps. I realize now that Hubby gets into funks and moods WAY more often than I do. Of course if I question a mood of his I get asked why he can't *just* be in a funk or a bad mood. Guess what? works the same for us too!Posted 4th May 2009 at 06:45 AM by GreyCloud9
-
I appreciate all the input sooooooo much. Y'all have no idea how much it helps to know you're not alone in this sort of thing and that it could be just plain ol' normal funkiness rather than some sort of setback. Because today I'm just fine and life continues to be a good thing.
And in part, that's thanks to you guys. As I say every single time.... you all rock!
Posted 4th May 2009 at 01:03 PM by joyfool
