Let's write a poem!

[JimNightshade]

I have just had the most fantastic idea - let´s write a poem!

This literary milepost could possibly be just what brings us in to the BIG TIME, yeah! Look - here is another smily: And another one: Whoohoo, we´re rocking already.

I have decided, that since none of you have had a chance to start this masterpiece, seeing that you had no idea I would post this in the first place, that it is only fair that I start. So - here we go! Let us make this illustriously noteworthy!


###############################

Beginning of literary poetic masterpiece commences:

###############################

We bring you with this stanza,
A rhythm from some dancer,
...



Go!

[Flying Saucerian]

Who moves with the suppleness of Tony Danza

[Khampelf]

This grace, we wish to you impart

[The Futility of Nihilism]

With a sweetness that is not too tart.

_{Well not if you telegraph it it isn't!}

[Scuba Ben]

And the swiftness of a hart.

[Khampelf]

Cannot keep apart

[EmilyG]

The dancer and the dance,

[Wolf Larsen]

cause stirrings in my pants

[Flying Saucerian]

Will this be a new romance...

[The Futility of Nihilism]

or simply leave me in a trance?

[Khampelf]

Swooning, mooning through the mist

[Chacoguy]

That's an opportunity I missed.

[Flying Saucerian]

When I remember those I've kissed...

[Khampelf]

My current wife gets really pissed.

[Chacoguy]

But then she said...

[Flying Saucerian]

"You'll soon be dead,"

[The Futility of Nihilism]

and shot me in the head.

[JimNightshade]

Here I am, dead and with a headache,
thinking, just for old times sake,
of all the bourbon, and the love I faked,

[Senpai]

I was such a snake

[EmilyG]

When in my youth, I'd walk on by

[Khampelf]

thinking 'is it real or is it fake?

[Wolf Larsen]

And then I stepped upon a rake

[Senpai]

I screamed and ridiculed myself
How many mistakes can one guy make?!

[The Futility of Nihilism]

So I walked to the store and bought an orange,

[Wolf Larsen]

and pondered if I needed a door hinge

[Khampelf]

This started a hardware binge,
With my money about to singe

[JoanieBaloney]

You know the drill
*watches all of GB cringe*

[JimNightshade]

And so, as the Giraffe Board went off on a binge,
of heavy metal, polka dots and fringe
It came to be that, in a sudden twinge
Their literary skills did infringe,
On a plum bean who did no editing.

¨Sigh¨, the all exhaled,

[NoClueBoy]

... my tortured lungs raled ...

[Flying Saucerian]

As I screamed, "FAIL!"

[The Futility of Nihilism]

at an 11 on a 1-to-10 scale

[Flying Saucerian]

So now let's wail

[Khampelf]

And shop the sales

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

[NoClueBoy]

Time for deeze feets to go on a walk

[Flying Saucerian]

Listen to me, baby, listen to me talk

[Senpai]

so I can relay exiting stories that never happened
for you to look at me and curiously gawk

[Flying Saucerian]

So do the gawk
Everybody do the gawk

[Senpai]

watch me with your eyes like a hawk

[JimNightshade]

Magnificent!

Now, all we need to do is sign it so that future generations can nod knowingly as they struugle with this in their text books.

I nominate:

Flying Saucerian Khampelf, The Futility of Nihilism - Scuba Ben EmilyG, The Wolf Larsen & Chacoguy Senpai, JoanieBaloney NoClueBoy, the third.

AKA:

FSKTFoNSBEmGWL & CSJBNcB III

Agree? I admit it doesn´t have a, je ne sais quoie, ring to it, I even admit it could be improved. But who will improve it? Hey? OK, if you can, which we all doubt, please improve it alright?

Now then, I will (even with the lack of plumbeans´ editing powers), publish this fucker, and get very very rich.

This is gonna turn into a classic yall.

When I have become filthy rich, I will consider sharing my wealth. If I haven´t spent it all on sausages and beer that is.






, << This is a comma

[picunurse]

Ok all of you, repeat after me: "Doggerel" Say it again: "Doggerel" and once more: "Doggerel"

Now, never ever write "poetry" again!

[Khampelf]

If you cook your sausage in beer,
You'll will no longer sauerkraut fear.

[Flying Saucerian]

Or you'll just be like Richard Gere
And shove little things up your sleeve...
(Fooled ya, didn't I?)

[JimNightshade]

Ok, I have edited this master piece, please tell me what you think.

If you all agree, I will post it at the straight dope message boards, where many truly literate poetic people mingle, and perhaps learn more about just how truly great it is.

Bur first, your thoughts.

Sorry if my editing powers have failed to your liking, the plum bean was not available.

Here you go:

#####

We bring you with this stanza,
A rhythm from some dancer,
With moves like Tony Danza
This grace, we wish to you impart.

The next line is going,
to have 'fart' in it, I just know it.
With a sweetness that is not too tart.

Well not if you telegraph it it isn't!

With the swiftness of a hart.
Cannot keep apart
The dancer and the dance,

cause stirrings in my pants
Will this be a new romance…
or simply leave me in a trance?

Swooning, mooning through the mist
That's an opportunity I missed.
When I remember those I've kissed…
My current wife gets really pissed.

But then she said…
"You'll soon be dead,"
and shot me in the head.

Here I am, dead and with a headache,
thinking, just for old times sake,
of all the bourbon, and the love I faked,

I was such a snake
When in my youth, I'd walk on by
thinking 'is it real or is it fake?
And then I stepped upon a rake

I screamed and ridiculed myself
How many mistakes can one guy make?!

I walked to the store and bought an orange,
and pondered if I needed a door hinge
This started a hardware binge,
With my money about to singe
You know the drill!

And so, as my friends went off on a binge,
of heavy metal, polka dots and fringe
It came to be that, in a sudden twinge
Their literary skills did infringe,
On a plum bean who did no editing.

¨Sigh¨, they all exhaled,
¨.. my tortured lungs raled!¨
I screamed, "FAIL!"
On an 11 on a 1-to-10 scale

So now let's wail
And shop the sales
And Sent from my SM-G900T,
- using Tapatalk!

Time for deeze feets to go on a walk
Listen to me, baby, listen to me talk
so I can relay exiting stories,
that never happened,
for you to look at,
and me and curiously gawk

So do the gawk!
Everybody do the gawk!
watch me with your eyes like a hawk

Magnificent! The author said,
repeat after me: "Doggerel"
Say it again: "Doggerel",
and once more: "Doggerel"

If you cook your sausage in beer,
You'll will no longer sauerkraut fear.
And if you feel like Richard Gere,
All manly at the new frontier,

And shove small things up your sleeve,
The ace is just a make believe,
Conceived for you to make deceive.

You´re really acting quite naive.

And you dance with extravaganza,
As if you´re really a horse,
in Bonanza.

######

Truly this is a masterpiece! Agree?

[JimNightshade]

OK, seeing that no one had any reservations, I am going to post this at the SDMB and get some REAL feedback, yo.

After that, I have a felling we will get filthy rich.

Wish me luck, and snark away.

[Flying Saucerian]

Well... Filthy, anyway. Not so sure about the rich part...

[JimNightshade]

cat flap

[JimNightshade]

By the way, here is the link:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=761241

Lets hope we get some real, honest, feedback.

Then I can publish it.

[JimNightshade]

Sadly, there are, apparently, several ungrammatical sentences, and this doesn't seem to be intentional for any kind of effect.

I think I might have trouble getting rich from this.

[boomerwang]

You motherfuckers wrote a communal poem without me??? I've taken note of all your usernames... yes, they all rhyme easily with lots of things. You want poetry? Strap yourselves in, it's gonna be a wild ride!