Cat war

[Solfy]

I have declared war on Felix.

Back in November, we got a new-to-us dining set which includes a buffet. The buffet goes perfectly in front of the dining window. Outside the dining window is a bird feeder. Therefore on top of the buffet is a perfect spot for a gigantic cat to watch birds. And swish his tail. And jump around. And climb the curtains. Also it's kind of high up, so it's much easier to jump on the buffet if he first jumps on the dining table. I do not allow cats on my dining surfaces. Feet that have been in litter boxes do not go where my food goes.

He has pulled the curtains down five times. We can't keep anything up there because he views it as his perch to climb up on and knock things off of. Papers, pencils, calculators, mail, decor, everything must go. This week he broke the giant glass jar we had on the buffet with decorations in it.

I just covered it with masking tape, sticky side up. He jumped up immediately, and got a piece stuck to his foot. He shook it off, and gingerly danced around the remaining tape. He is not happy.

I feel a little mean because it is a primo cat perch, but I'm tired of having to keep a 5' buffet cleared of all objects for his viewing enjoyment. There are tons of other great cat perches available to him - cushy heated window seats, all the furniture, radiators (that can't be comfortable but he seems to like them), etc. I bought the buffet intending to put lamps and seasonal decorations on it (and food when entertaining). Not a cat.

Want to place bets on who wins?

[Zeener Diode]

Always bet on black.

Try laying fresh-cut lavender or mint clippings on the buffet. Or a saucer of vinegar (although it he spills it your buffet will never forgive you).

[What Exit?]

It took years, but we convinced Dot she is not to be on the dining room table. Sammy thus far has not picked up this awful habit.

Neither do kitchen counters either.

I haven't tried to win any other battles.

[Wolf Larsen]

Having had cats for many years, my money is on Felix.

[Solfy]

Update: One hour later, all but one pieces of the masking tape were off the buffet. Felix was checking out life outside the upstairs hall window, which has a very convenient deacon's bench in front of it.
I have replaced the tape.

[3acres]

Originally Posted by Solfy

I have replaced the tape.

Oh yeah. My advice to Felix is "don't fight with Solfy." This is war, Felix!

[fucktard loser]

Best of luck Solfy.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by Solfy

I have declared war on Felix.

You're going to lose.

That's as far as I read before posting this answer.

Now to see what this thread is actually about

ETA: Yep.

[Solfy]

All but two pieces of the tape are on the floor, and Felix is on my bed.
ETA: I have replaced the tape.

[3acres]

Felix was my nickname when I was a house painter. The other guys on the crew even painted "Felix" and a picture of a cat's face on one of my shirts.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by Solfy

All but two pieces of the tape are on the floor, and Felix is on my bed.
ETA: I have replaced the tape.

He's just stringing you along.

[picunurse]

Try aluminum foil. Leave it a little loose so it crinkles when he walks on it.

[teela brown]

Yes on the aluminum foil. If that doesn't do it, maybe try this mat with little uncomfortable stiff spikes on it. We cut pieces of it to fit our whiskey barrel planters when the neighbor's cat was digging and shitting in them. It worked well.

[Jaglavak]

Hook the foil up to a small electric fence box. You might want to let your fellow primates know about it though.

[Sputnik]

I'm putting my money on the cat.

[hilarity n. suze]

What you need is a border collie.

We used to have a border collie and our cats behaved. Whenever a cat did something we did not like and we hissed at them, just once, the BC made note of it, and the next time it happened he took it upon himself to bark at them and herd them away. He loved it.

In this way he kept them from tearing up the paper on the shoji, clawing the screen door to the patio, clawing the tatami carpet, clawing the Mies chairs, jumping on the dining room table...

..and a couple of things that he himself did not like. (If they were on the bed having a nap he would hop on and they'd all snuggle up together. But if he got there first, no cats allowed!)

In his absence (sob) they have become like the bad cats in Lady and the Tramp and we have to mop the dining room table with Lysol before we eat on it. [Well actually we don't really eat off the table. WE have plates, and napkins, and sometimes even a tablecloth! (And TWO colanders.)] One of them is particularly fond of finding a glass with water in it and tipping it over so the water spills. Bonus if the glass breaks.

TLDR border collie FTW otherwise my money is on Felix

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by Sputnik

I'm putting my money on the cat.

Lets put it this way. If I was a cat, I'd rather piss off ten of you than one Solfy.

[Anacanapuna]

When we had a cat, I used a mousetrap to teach her to stay off of the kitchen cabinets. But not the way you'd think.

I set the mousetrap upside down on the counter and covered it with a white tea towel. When the kitty jumped up on the counter and disturbed the towel, the trap went off, flinging the tea towel into the air and scaring the bejeebers out of her. We did that twice and she was done. When she got a little bolder, we just left a tea towel lying on the counter.

[What Exit?]

When we had a border collie, the little but clever cat teamed up with him instead. The big cat lived in fear of him, but Velcro and Angus made a scary team.

[Rock]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Lets put it this way. If I was a cat, I'd rather piss off ten of you than one Solfy.

I would never bet against Solfy, even if a cat is involved.

You might have to put a little plastic picket fence around the top of the buffet. Or chicken wire. Or barbed wire.

[BJMoose]

Maybe mice with a machine gun nest.

[JackieLikesVariety]

love the border collie story

[Solfy]

Originally Posted by hilarity n. suze

What you need is a border collie.

You're not kidding.

We had Oliver about a year when we got Zoe, who was an Aussie. Oliver would occasionally lie smack dab in the middle of the dining table. We'd tell him to get down, and he'd look at us insolently with a face that plainly said, "I know you're too lazy to get up and make me." And he was right.

One day as a joke, we told Zoe, "Tell Kitty to get down." To our astonishment and without any training, Zoe ran over to the cat, grabbed him by the scruff, and dragged him to the floor. Then she came over to us for pets and praise, which were freely given. The rest of the time Zoe didn't bother Oliver unless he started things first which wasn't uncommon. They liked to wrestle and play together.

By the time we got Lucy, both cats learned that any time they were somewhere they shouldn't be, we'd call the dog. The cats' eyes would go big as saucers and they'd hop down and run because they knew they were about to be herded. Because we're horrible people, we continued to call Zoe with the command "tell kitty to get down" when they misbehaved even after she died rather suddenly of liver cancer. It continued to work for about a month until they finally figured out she wasn't coming anymore. It took me closer to a year to quite hearing her tags jingle.

Felix likes Fluff Pup, but I can't help but think he and Zoe would have been really good together. Fluff Pup is a cuddler, not a herder.

[claudius]

Perhaps you could construct a cat sized elevator next to the buffet? Self service of course, it would be silly to have to hire an operator.

[Dazzling White Diamonds]

Originally Posted by Solfy

We had Oliver about a year when we got Zoe, who was an Aussie.

Our Zoe was an Aussie mix, who died suddenly at the age of 10 without any signs of illness. She was the smartest dog we'd ever seen, and was a beloved family member. That girl would herd our cats if she felt they had gone too far away from the house, because they were part of the family and needed protecting.

We spoke plain English to her, too... and she understood nearly everything we said to her. Oh sure, we had some basic commands, like "sit", "lay", etc., but she went beyond that. One time she got in trouble, and I told her to "go lay down in your dog house and don't come out 'til I say!" She immediately hung her head, and laid in her dog house. I came out about 15 - 20 minutes later to find her still in her house, with the saddest eyes. I told her to come out, and she did. Told her to tell me she was sorry, which she did by hanging her head down. Then, and this is the part that kills me even today, I told her to go tell dad (my husband) she was sorry. I'm not kidding, guys... she immediately went and found my husband in the garage, sat down in front of him and hung her head. He asked me what was going on, and it took me a minute to find the words to tell him what I'd said to her. He bent down, told her thank you and patted her on her head. She immediately perked up and then trotted off to do her dog-herding thang.

I miss her.

[Solfy]

One of these days I'm going to have another aussie. They're something else. Zoe (and her aussie cousin, Pennie) had a great vocabulary. All Fluff Pup really understands is "cheese," "treat," and "do you have to go pee?" Or if she does understand more, like a cat, she feigns ignorance. She's a very cat-like dog, but she'd never make it up onto the buffet.

I like the tag about saran wrap and vaseline - I have visions of Felix launching himself onto the buffet only to go flying off.
The tape stayed put overnight, but he jumped up again while Swimmy ate breakfast. Jumped back down to shake the tape off his paw and hasn't tried again yet.

[BeeGee]

Originally Posted by teela brown

Yes on the aluminum foil. If that doesn't do it, maybe try this mat with little uncomfortable stiff spikes on it. We cut pieces of it to fit our whiskey barrel planters when the neighbor's cat was digging and shitting in them. It worked well.

You can also use that clear plastic matting that goes on carpet with the spikes turned up. I used to buy it at Home Depot by the foot and use it on the door jambs because Sandy was a door jamb scratcher until I got her hooked on the cardboard scratcher full of 'nip.

Another possibility is ruin her view while preserving most of yours.
https://www.amazon.com/Rabbitgoo-Pri...language=en_US

I have this stuff halfway up on my kitchen window. I can see out to the trees and birds, but not directly into my neighbor's patio and the neighbors can't see my ratty old house coat when I'm making breakfast.

[Jaglavak]

If you put anything slippery on top, he will automatically dig in with all claws as he is sliding. No big deal if you don't mind scratches across the top of your cabinet.

[Sunny Daze]

Is it possible to move the bird feeder? Either that, or add another outside of an allowed window? We've also been known to get an aquarium, which provided great entertainment. Fish! Shiny!

[fucktard loser]

Cats can’t scratch through glass plate and cats are supposed to hate getting sticky gunk on their feet, if you really mean war find a Habitat for Humanity store, cover all disputed surfaces with sheets of glass and liberally coat with petroleum jelly. Don’t forget to set up cameras, you can save choice footage for future shaming.

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by Solfy

I feel a little mean because it is a primo cat perch, but I'm tired of having to keep a 5' buffet cleared of all objects for his viewing enjoyment.

There's your problem. Think of it this way: keeping Felix happy will keep you happy.

[Solfy]

Originally Posted by Sunny Daze

Is it possible to move the bird feeder? Either that, or add another outside of an allowed window? We've also been known to get an aquarium, which provided great entertainment. Fish! Shiny!

I was thinking about that. There's no reason I can't put the feeder outside a different window. We have a wrap-around porch with plenty of hooks, and have also hung the feeder on the kitchen porch before. Feeders have to hang from porch roofs so as not to become deer feeders.
For now I may put it outside the kitchen because he could see it from the full-view kitchen door, and eventually put it outside my office and put up one of those windowsill cat perches. The office is already the cats' room - their litter boxes and food are in there.

He hasn't been up on the buffet since this morning.

[Solfy]

Report from the battle front:
Turns out Maggie sometimes gets on the buffet, too. Masking tape really sticks to long-haired cats dumb enough to sit on it. Poor Maggie was collateral damage, as she is not an Agent of Gravity prone to destruction.
Felix did get up on the buffet once yesterday. He very carefully stepped around the remaining tape. I added more tape.

I moved the bird feeder to the kitchen porch but the birds haven't found it. Bird feeding season is almost done, anyway.

[C2H5OH]

Originally Posted by Solfy

Bird feeding season is almost done, anyway.

That's a year-round thing, here. We just have different types of seed go faster or slower as the bird-mix changes. So we now have 3 feeders with several different types of seed in them and I fill the ones as they empty with whichever seed types go in that one.

[Solfy]

I'm more diligent about feeding in the winter months when food is scarce. In the summer I get lazy and they go next door where the plant hoarders have about 5 feeders out. Or across the street for the bread feast that brings all the critters to the yard.
Wild animals eat well here. (too well; they're not meant to eat bread all the time)

[C2H5OH]

Originally Posted by Solfy

I'm more diligent about feeding in the winter months when food is scarce. In the summer I get lazy and they go next door where the plant hoarders have about 5 feeders out. Or across the street for the bread feast that brings all the critters to the yard.
Wild animals eat well here. (too well; they're not meant to eat bread all the time)

All ours are within sight of my mother's window in front of the chair she reads in, so if they went elsewhere, she couldn't see 'em. So we keep 'em coming year-round. The cat can see 'em from the shelf I built for her on the back porch door*, so she likes year-round too.

*She really enjoys riding that shelf whenever anyone goes in or out that door.

[Solfy]

I lost a battle today. Felix took out the runner on top of the buffet along with the two potted plants I had on it.
I repotted the plants and relocated them back to the window in the kitchen, vacuumed up the potting soil, removed the runner, and covered the top of the buffet in tape.

I wonder if Amazon sells electrically charged mats. . . .

The war continues.

[Dragonlady]

They do. One brand is "Scat Mat".

[Jaglavak]

Trail cam. Ya gotta. Ya just gotta!

[BJMoose]

Or you could try electrical tape . . .

[Solfy]

We have both a trail cam and electrical tape around here somewhere. The trail cam was a gift that was either never or barely used.
Tape topped buffet is unmounted this morning.

[Doyle]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQuAboEvags

[Solfy]

That is not what I expected.

[Doyle]

Originally Posted by Solfy

That is not what I expected.

I sing this to myself whenever any of the cats are a problem.

Love the piano smashing.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by Solfy

The trail cam was a gift that was either never or barely used.

Think of it as an opportunity to scientifically document the length of a cat's hair all at once.

[Solfy]

For that all I have to do is look at my shirt.

[Solfy]

Update on the cat war: I won the battle, but the war continues.
Felix stayed off the buffet for quite a while, but the lure of an open window proved too much for him and he was back up there this summer.

We've been squirting him with a water pistol when we see him up there (or on the dining table; cat butts don't go where my dinner does). He has learned to fear the water pistols, but not to stay off the surfaces.
This morning MD found him on the buffet, squirted him, and he got down. Fifteen minutes later he jumped back up on the buffet, but when she grabbed a squirt gun he moved into the adjacent window sill as if to say, "Can't get me here - technically I'm not on the buffet."
Smart ass cat.

[BJMoose]

Anyone who thinks cats are dumb has never seen one play rules lawyer.

[C2H5OH]

Originally Posted by Solfy

I have declared war on Felix.

Back in November, we got a new-to-us dining set which includes a buffet. The buffet goes perfectly in front of the dining window. Outside the dining window is a bird feeder. Therefore on top of the buffet is a perfect spot for a gigantic cat to watch birds. And swish his tail. And jump around. And climb the curtains. Also it's kind of high up, so it's much easier to jump on the buffet if he first jumps on the dining table. I do not allow cats on my dining surfaces. Feet that have been in litter boxes do not go where my food goes.

He has pulled the curtains down five times. We can't keep anything up there because he views it as his perch to climb up on and knock things off of. Papers, pencils, calculators, mail, decor, everything must go. This week he broke the giant glass jar we had on the buffet with decorations in it.

I just covered it with masking tape, sticky side up. He jumped up immediately, and got a piece stuck to his foot. He shook it off, and gingerly danced around the remaining tape. He is not happy.

I feel a little mean because it is a primo cat perch, but I'm tired of having to keep a 5' buffet cleared of all objects for his viewing enjoyment. There are tons of other great cat perches available to him - cushy heated window seats, all the furniture, radiators (that can't be comfortable but he seems to like them), etc. I bought the buffet intending to put lamps and seasonal decorations on it (and food when entertaining). Not a cat.

Want to place bets on who wins?

My bet is on the cat... They ALWAYS win. What do I win?

[hilarity n. suze]

Originally Posted by Solfy

Update on the cat war: I won the battle, but the war continues.
Felix stayed off the buffet for quite a while, but the lure of an open window proved too much for him and he was back up there this summer.

We've been squirting him with a water pistol when we see him up there (or on the dining table; cat butts don't go where my dinner does). He has learned to fear the water pistols, but not to stay off the surfaces.
This morning MD found him on the buffet, squirted him, and he got down. Fifteen minutes later he jumped back up on the buffet, but when she grabbed a squirt gun he moved into the adjacent window sill as if to say, "Can't get me here - technically I'm not on the buffet."
Smart ass cat.