So I'm being blackmailed. Warning: WAY TL;DR

[WednesdayAddams]

Alternately titled: I'm not new here, and a lot of you probably know me. I apologize in advance for all the drama about to descend. But hey, the nonnies are going to be VERY happy; this will be the juiciest thing that's been posted there in weeks.

The messy background: A few years ago, I went through a rather ugly breakup, the details of which the other party was way too happy to share online and with our IRL friends. He also turned a little stalkery (called my ex, called me 49 times straight once [that was fun]), asked our friends to take sides, (drunk) called the people he found out I was dating....all kinds of drama. I just wanted to get as far away from it as possible. Simply put, I walked away. Sold my condo in California, came here and dropped off the Dope. Where I had a different username (not Syntropy. Hold your horses, I'll get there). I mostly stayed away from the internet except for a few occasions, which was easy, since I'd started school again.

Giraffe started this MB, and it felt like home. However, it was relatively small, and there was at least one person here who knew me IRL and would have felt obligated to tell my ex I was here, and that person was already feeling way too much in the middle of the entire mess. So I chose my middle name and my grandmother's last initial a username and was miserly with my personal details. I told precisely three people I was here. One of them is now threatening to out me because I said something that painted him (in his opinion) in a less than flattering light. Very much 'don't forget I know who you are.'

Fuck that. Blackmailers and coercion piss me right the fuck off. So, Excalibre, since you do vanity searches looking for people talking about you, here it is: I choose to out myself. I will not hide in fear until you decide to do it for me. I've already gone to Gfactor on the Dope and told him about my sock (Syntropy), I've gone to Giraffe and the mod staff here, and I am now telling the rest of you. Without further ado, here are the PM's from Exy, my response, and my PM to Gfactor. And now you know who I am. I do apologize if anyone feels misled. Oh. And huge huge thanks to Giraffe, Fenris, haj, Veb & Dolores Reborn for all the support and kindness over the past couple days while I hashed this out.

Here's my PM to Gfactor, which includes the PM's from Excalibre:

Hey, Gfactor.

I used to post here under the username Maureen. I stopped posting with that name when I moved back home to Texas, as I had a lot of personal issues and was attempting to distance myself from them. Unfortunately, they included some online friends from here as well as IRL. The person I was seeing was being fairly stalkery, and when I left, I did it in a vacuum.

I know it was a stupid thing to do, but changing my name here would have required me to at least put my 'old' name in my sig, and I was just that paranoid that he wouldn't have left me alone. I'm sorry. If I wind up banned on both usernames, I will totally understand.

Now, to be completely honest, I'm coming forward for a reason. Exy's blackmailing me. Er, Excalibre. Yeah, just can't seem to get away from the drama, can I? He and I were fairly close when he was posting here and even for quite a while after he was banned. Apparently I ran afoul of him for posting this on the GB in response to his posting Sampiro's personal info at the snarkpit. Exy feels that friends don't disapprove of other friends' actions, no matter how obnoxious those actions may be. The conversation went down like this:

I don't respond well to blackmail. It tends to piss me off.

So, I sat there getting more angry and more angry and finally decided to out myself to the GB staff. They deserved to know, and I won't be blackmailed. Will probably out myself at the GB as well, because once I do that, he has absolutely no hold over me whatsoever. But I did want to make it a clean sweep and tell someone here as well, and you're the moderator here I'm most comfortable going to. Sorry 'bout that.

As I said, I'll take my licks. If it means both accounts are banned, then so be it. I hope everyone would be willing to consider allowing me to carry on with Syntropy, but if not, I'll understand.

Thanks for listening

So, now y'all know the whole sordid story. Personal life totally cratered, and I was less than proud of a few things associated with that username. A clean break seemed like the path of least resistance, and the easiest thing to change while I got back on my feet. I couldn't take any more drama. Really, it's amazing how you don't realize how much drama is surrounding you until you step out of it and look back. And think, 'wow, that there? That was a trainwreck.'

Personal note to NoClueBoy: Honey, I hope you can forgive me for not coming to you personally when you got here.

[Darmund]

So is it ok if I don't care about any of that? I think I remember that I liked Maureen, but whatever. Happy drama shedding, bitchcakes!

(ETA: To clarify, I think it sucks you have stalkers and related drama, but you're still cool with me.)

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Well, if it matters to you any: It doesn't matter to me. Don't really care about past Durp drama and to be honest the whole "OMG user names!" is just not a big deal. I guess it matters to the Durp and they may well ban you over this as extenuating circumstances have never really been their thing. Of course, I stopped really interacting with the place some time ago so I guess I'm a bit biased.

As far as Exy is concerned ... fuck, what a piece of work. I kinda respected his disregard for Authori-tay at the Durp, but after that ... Bah, he's not worth the time invested in talking about him.

[Fenris]

For the record, the entire staff--100% unanimously--thinks that as far as the Giraffeboard, this is Not An Issue.

And I'll bet that the SDMB says similar as they've always had a very responsive policy regarding stalking issues. Even before online/meatspace stalking became a common concept, they were waaaaaay ahead of the curve in that regard (and more power to 'em for that)

[WednesdayAddams]

You guys rock.

[Raff Sock]

I can't believe you are stupid enough to trust Exy. I hope you learned a lesson.

[mlerose]

I have no dog in this fight, but why would a "friend" have an obligation to tell your stalker ex that you are here?

[Borborygmi]

It wasn't TL to R, but for me it's TL to go back and re-R the parts I didn't really understand on first R.

Sorry people have been and continue to be assy to you, Wedz! Other than that, I'm in Darmund's hope-it's-okay-if-I-don't-care camp.

Note that I'm not completely averse to getting some drama in here, though. Board's been kinda quiet lately.

[Giraffe]

Excalibre really has become a huge asshole. It's always about everyone else: if he does something shitty (like posting someone who just lost their mother's real life contact info), it's because someone dared him to. If you disapprove publicly of the shitty things he does, it's because you're a bad friend. If you persist in having an opinion of his actions, well, I guess that private information he figured out about you doesn't have to stay so private, now does it?

Fuck him. He's a useless, pathetic loser and the sooner he's forgotten by all of us, the better.

On the bright side, I am quite pleased to learn that we've had Maureen in our midst this whole time. Score!

[Solfy]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it appears to me that it's only a problem from a Dope standpoint since they're militantly anti-sock. I just hope the IRL drama has minimized for you, Wenz. No one needs that sort of crap.

[Metallic Squink]

[towlie] I have no idea what's going on. [/towlie]

I don't care what your user name is, was or will ever be - you're still awesome!

[Panacea]

@mlerose: She said a person who knew her IRL. Not necessarily a friend.



FWIW, Wedz, I don't give a rat's ass. Exy is just a waste of skin anyway, IMO.

@Raffe Sock: I reckon that's past tense now.

[Giraffe]

Originally Posted by Solfy

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it appears to me that it's only a problem from a Dope standpoint since they're militantly anti-sock.

Yeah, that was the implied threat -- if he revealed that Wednesday had two different SDMB accounts, they'd both be banned automatically. Fortunately, I know the staff there have taken real-life necessity into account in the past, and I'm hoping they'll be understanding in this case.

[mlerose]

Just FTR, I don't give two shits what names you have had on what boards. I like you just the way you are, Weds.

[WednesdayAddams]

Originally Posted by Raff Sock

I can't believe you are stupid enough to trust Exy. I hope you learned a lesson.

Honestly, nonny? Yes and no. The Exy who is currently doing this is not the Exy I knew on the Dope. Had I known that I never would have trusted him with the info. OTOH, who you can and cannot trust tends to change with time and events. 5 years ago? I still would have trusted him.

Originally Posted by mlerose

I have no dog in this fight, but why would a "friend" have an obligation to tell your stalker ex that you are here?

Because she's a completely honest person and it would have bothered her constantly. I walked away from everyone that knew us both. Plus, with everything she was dealing with at the time, she didn't need the extra drama. At that time, I think the GB was a bit of a haven for her.

[Dudley]

Wenz, I do not care about this. You add enough to this board that any stupid previous drama doesn't matter one bit.

BTW, you should, IMHO, change your username here to Maureen.

[Lord Blackmore]

Since my impressions have been formed based on what I've read mostly here on GB, my good opinion of Wedz isn't going to change based on this crap.

I hope things have gotten better for you.

Can we call you Maureen now?

[severe delays]

I have not much more than the barest clue about what's going on but just wanted to say that I still love you even if you are a box-happy harridan. As for the dope...either they'll ban you or not. I'm hoping you don't care too much about that and are happy with this place being your internet home.

[Taur]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

Excalibre really has become a huge asshole. It's always about everyone else:

Yes, I noticed what Exy said:

Given the circumstances, Sampiro daring me to post his contact info was eminently reason enough for me to do it -- and so I did. And he deserved it.

He refuses to take responsibility for his error (ignoring the chorus in favour of Sampiro), remains defiant about his actions and then tries to shift the blame. Charming fellow.

Wens, it would be nice if they can see forest through trees over there, but I'm not holding my breath. Sorry--it says everything about *them*, of course.

AND YOU'RE STILL A MOD OF US. No, really.

[Fenris]

Originally Posted by Lord Blackmore

Can we call you Maureen now?

SECONDED!!!!!

[Auntbeast]

Whoever you were, are, or might be is absolutely of no concern to me. I like you just fine and certainly haven't seen any way that you have brought harm to a message board. I'm also not thrilled with black/white rules. Your case as you have presented it, shows that their should be exceptions.

I recently got banned from somewhere for the first time ever. They have a "no illicit drug talk" rule. I mentioned that I had to detox my husband when he became addicted to drugs. It was a decidedly unfavorable position, and yet I was banned for 4 days. Even the most vehement anti-drug person, it seems to me, would be thrilled to have people say how bad they are. I was wrong.

Anyway, pull up your chair, have a seat and relax. You've got a home here, even if crazy-ex comes calling, our crazy can deflate him, or at least annoy him until he leaves.

[Dragonlady]

I'm in the "Huh?" category.
I haven't ever followed the Dope close enough to "get" the personal stuff. Not like I do here!
On a personal note : I'm sorry your life came to a point where the best answer was to cut and run. It must have been terribly stressful, both before and for a long while after. Now that your "secret" is revealed, you can take all of it and toss it directly into the trash, because it's all over.
WednesdayAddams, MarrisaW, Maureen, YOU ROCK, and always will!

Welcome home!

[WednesdayAddams]

Originally Posted by Fenris

SECONDED!!!!!

Really? Huh. I figured 'most everyone would vote for me to stay Wenz. I have the biggest, silliest grin right now.`

[Doyle]

If it makes you feel better, I still don't know what's going on.

I must say I'm a little disappointed in you. You said this was going to be juicy!

[WednesdayAddams]

Originally Posted by Dragonlady

Now that your "secret" is revealed, you can take all of it and toss it directly into the trash, because it's all over.

You have no idea how much of a relief that is.

[Who_me?]

While I never noticed Syntropy until this board started, I did notice Maureen. And may I say welcome to her here.

You're still tops with me, maybe even moreso now.

[GreyCloud9]

Eh, I am always clueless.. but you know I like you, your cool.. and that is what matters here.

[hajario]

Maureen was my pal over at the Durp. She was one of my favorite posters because of her wit and because we used to talk poker. Then over here Wenz was one of my faves because she's just so damn cool. Imagine my delight when it turned out that they were one and the same and my friend Maureen was here all along. I always knew something seemed familiar but could never put my finger on it.

[IDOL]

well, that certainly explains why you said my calling Nonacetone "nonnie" wasn't a good thing...I had no idea!

*still don't really understand what a nonny is, but after reading through some of that Enough is Enough thread, I get the jist that a nonny isn't positive thing.


sorry all this shit is hitting your fan, Weds

[Chacoguy]

What Dragonlady said. Besides, I'm having a hard time working up a 'Give a shit' for what the Durp Mods think or do. Very little of that makes sense to me; that's why I hang out here.

[Rebo]

I'm glad you've found your home here, no matter what the hell your name is!

[hajario]

BTW, Exy is not banned over here in any way. We have not banned his user name. We have not blocked any of his IP addresses. We do not plan to do so.

Despite what he said in one of the PMs, he most certainly can post here and attempt to defend himself should he choose to do so.

[Rebo]

He's too big a chicken.

Bock bock!!!

[Who_me?]

Originally Posted by hajario

BTW, Exy is not banned over here in any way. We have not banned his user name. We have not blocked any of his IP addresses. We do not plan to do so.

Despite what he said in one of the PMs, he most certainly can post here and attempt to defend himself should he choose to do so.

He can attempt to do a lot of things, I don't think he'd be successful at many of them.

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by hajario

BTW, Exy is not banned over here in any way. We have not banned his user name. We have not blocked any of his IP addresses. We do not plan to do so.

Despite what he said in one of the PMs, he most certainly can post here and attempt to defend himself should he choose to do so.

Originally Posted by Dolores Reborn

He's too big a chicken.

Bock bock!!!

::Sharpens poking stick::

[Fish]

What you posted, vs what I read:

Exy is an asshole again.

Yep. Pretty much.

[wring]

Chaulk me up as a "don't care about it, you're fine by me" vote, too.

[WednesdayAddams]

The worst part was all the wonderful people I've known and corresponded with over the years like haj and el(eanorigby) and felt like I couldn't say squat. This is much better.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

I figured 'most everyone would vote for me to stay Wenz.

That's certainly my vote. WENZ WENZ WENZ WENZ.

Or whatever you want. Really, it's just a message board. Choose any name you want, even "Nihilism is teh Awesomesauce" although if you did I would hate you forever.

[Darmund]

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

The worst part was all the wonderful people I've known and corresponded with over the years like haj and el(eanorigby) and felt like I couldn't say squat. This is much better.

Plus now you can go post a pic in the "Pictures of You" thread. : poke poke :

[Dazzling White Diamonds]

Wenz, I don't give a rat's patoot about your previous incarnations over on the Dope (although I do recall liking Maureen ). I'm glad you're here and I think you're swell.

[Pure]

Originally Posted by hajario

Maureen was my pal over at the Durp. She was one of my favorite posters because of her wit and because we used to talk poker. Then over here Wenz was one of my faves because she's just so damn cool. Imagine my delight when it turned out that they were one and the same and my friend Maureen was here all along. I always knew something seemed familiar but could never put my finger on it.

It's like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail"!

What an icky situation. Glad you found a way to resolve that gives you peace.

[Fenris]

With Wednes's ok, I posted a poll.

YOUR VOICE MATTERS!

VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN!

(for Maureen!)

[Doyle]

Is your last name McCormick?

[Borborygmi]

No love for "MarissaW" in this poll, huh?

[severe delays]

I like Wenz and of course you get to use all the cool avatars for it. But I'll also just say that choosing your internet name is a personal thing so you should ignore whatever we tards vote for if it doesn't sit right with you.

[Lord Blackmore]

Originally Posted by Doyle

Is your last name McCormick?

MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA!!!!!

Everyone better vote for Maureen or I'm gonna blackmail all of youse.

Originally Posted by severe delays

I like Wenz and of course you get to use all the cool avatars for it. But I'll also just say that choosing your internet name is a personal thing so you should ignore whatever we tards vote for if it doesn't sit right with you.

Box! Box! Box!

[Burnt Toast]

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

Really? Huh. I figured 'most everyone would vote for me to stay Wenz. I have the biggest, silliest grin right now.`

I think you should stay Wenz. If my opinion counts for anything....


Count me in with those in the "Huh?" group. I tend to stay away from the drama crap. Don't know, don't care.

[Darmund]

Originally Posted by severe delays

I like Wenz and of course you get to use all the cool avatars for it. But I'll also just say that choosing your internet name is a personal thing so you should ignore whatever we tards vote for if it doesn't sit right with you.

Agreed. I voted for Wenz, but whatever you want is fine.

[Panacea]

Originally Posted by severe delays

choosing your internet name is a personal thing so you should ignore whatever we tards vote for if it doesn't sit right with you.

What she said.


I had a professor who was Kurdish. He was a very colorful lecturer. On the subject of constants, he would bellow: "This is CONSTANT! It CANNOT CHANGE! We call it anything! We could call it Mohammed! We could call it Abdul ! We could call it ... uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh ... STATUE OF LIBERTY!! Entire Chinese army CANNOT CHANGE IT !!!" All the while he is stabbing the blackboard with the chalk, writing.


You are you, no matter what name you use. Call yourself whatever you like.