Need platitudes

[Gorgon Heap]

I need some help generating feel-good platitudes for a Thanksgiving toast.

I'm supposed to give it tomorrow just before dinner at my step-family's event. It's a tradition for them, but we have nothing in common as they are a bunch of squares. These people are simple and boring, Catholic and lame. At these family gatherings the height of humor has been been laughing at the same juvenile fart jokes for the past 25 years.

Whatever I say will be insincere, so please feed me some ideas worthy of Clark W. Griswold so I can get through this without actually insulting them.