First World Problems

[Wolf Larsen]

Atalanta, these posts make you sound quite demented. Maybe you need to see a professional therapist and work out your anger issues.

[Antonio]

Originally Posted by Atalanta

...my animals defection habits.

I'm not normally the type to nitpick at typos, but this made me lol. I'm picturing a cat hopping over the Berlin Wall now. A first- or second-world problem, depending which side you were on!

Sent from my telex.

[Atalanta]

Originally Posted by Antonio

I'm not normally the type to nitpick at typos, but this made me lol. I'm picturing a cat hopping over the Berlin Wall now. A first- or second-world problem, depending which side you were on!

Sent from my telex.

Bahaha I guess Siri doesn't like poop talk. In any fancy packaging.

[Atalanta]

I got an incentive bonus and all positive reviews from my patients surveyed--my mascara is running and my oversized sunglasses are in the car so my tears of joy are out there for all to see.

[Khampelf]

Originally Posted by Atalanta

I can't get the temperature to where I want it in my office. Having personalized office thermostats is a lot of pressure.

I'm sorry my behaviour disturbed you, Atalanta.

Here's a different one.

Third World Translation - There is no coal and the children are dying, but we eat the dead ones, so it works out. It's freezing, so they keep a long time, we can eat the dead children a little at a time, saving the best parts for when we can find horse dung to burn. But most of the horses are dead and eaten already.

Now, "Is God a Dead Mexican" I'm giving thought to, I don't think so, but all statements are true in some sense, false in some sense and meaningless in some sense. Oh dear god, is he going to start with that discordian nonsense, again?



I just got back, what's been going on, here?

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by Khampelf

*sneer* *glare* How was breakfast?

I didn't realize you were the OP, but it doesn't matter, you're on my shit list. I guess my first world neurosis is disliking beeing sneered at by the bourgeois.

Sent from my SGH-T999L using Tapatalk

99% sure this thread was mostly started as a place for Atalanta to gloat about how much more first world he is than everyone else.

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by sturmhauke

http://m.theatlantic.com/technology/...oblems/248829/

A Nigerian writer is annoyed by this first world problems meme, saying that Africans can have these silly problems too. I feel a sense of ennui that this guy is annoyed with me in the most abstract and impersonal sense.

I can see his point, but I think that he's being nitpicky. The point of #firstworldproblems is that they're only "problems" for people who need problems; for anyone with real problems, they're merely annoyances. The point is not to imply that people outside of the developed nations don't love technology or seek pleasure as much as anyone else, but rather as a "seriously, I can't believe you're wasting energy complaining about this petty annoyance" reminder that if this is all the "problem" you have, you should count your blessings.

[Nisslbody]

In other news, my first world problem is that I have two weeks to finish my scholarship application/essays and I'm feeling pretty much totally stumped on essay #4.

[Jaglavak]

Give me a keyword or two and I'll bullshit one up for you.

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Give me a keyword or two and I'll bullshit one up for you.

"You are a Service Learning project coordinator..."

[Despotic Harridan]

Call a team meeting to review goals and set priorities...........

[Atalanta]

Originally Posted by Khampelf

I'm sorry my behaviour disturbed you, Atalanta.

Here's a different one.

Third World Translation - There is no coal and the children are dying, but we eat the dead ones, so it works out. It's freezing, so they keep a long time, we can eat the dead children a little at a time, saving the best parts for when we can find horse dung to burn. But most of the horses are dead and eaten already.

Now, "Is God a Dead Mexican" I'm giving thought to, I don't think so, but all statements are true in some sense, false in some sense and meaningless in some sense. Oh dear god, is he going to start with that discordian nonsense, again?



I just got back, what's been going on, here?

I am sorry I did not read your post more clearly and/or ask for clarification before replying.

Yes, yes. Sadly, I'm very aware of the ugly realities in this world. I deal with them nonstop, all day long. That's why I choose to focus on the positive and be thankful and grateful for what I have--whether it be by my own hard work or a gift from the universe.

[Nisslbody]

It's basically shorthand for "come up with a research project that would benefit the community"

I don't have any idea, really. Maybe I'll sit on it for a couple of days.

[Atalanta]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

It's basically shorthand for "come up with a research project that would benefit the community"

I don't have any idea, really. Maybe I'll sit on it for a couple of days.

Do they give you any information on the target community? It would seem like once you know your constituents, you could do a needs assessment (even if only hypothetically).

[Khampelf]

Originally Posted by Atalanta

I am sorry I did not read your post more clearly and/or ask for clarification before replying.

Yes, yes. Sadly, I'm very aware of the ugly realities in this world. I deal with them nonstop, all day long. That's why I choose to focus on the positive and be thankful and grateful for what I have--whether it be by my own hard work or a gift from the universe.

We have that in common, then. The being grateful and accentuating the positive to the greatest extent possible part, I mean.


Hmmm, what petty affluent by world standards annoyance did I have today?

I guess I forgot about a drive through burrito and had to transfer funds from savings. I caught it before anything bounced though.

Nope got nothing. Everything is pretty OK or better, really.

[Atalanta]

Originally Posted by Khampelf

We have that in common, then. The being grateful and accentuating the positive to the greatest extent possible part, I mean.


Hmmm, what petty affluent by world standards annoyance did I have today?

I guess I forgot about a drive through burrito and had to transfer funds from savings. I caught it before anything bounced though.

Nope got nothing. Everything is pretty OK or better, really.

SNEAK BRAG. YOU ATE A BURRITO IN YOUR CAR JUST SO YOU COULD REMIND US ALL HOW GREAT YOU ARE.

I did not eat lunch because I was working too hard. I guess that's not that first world. Clearly I must have a hidden agenda for mentioning this. I look forward to someone here telling me what that is.

[Khampelf]

I DIDN"T EAT IT IN THE CAR, I JUST USED THE DRIVE-THRU AND TOOK IT HOME. WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT ME?

[Atalanta]

Originally Posted by Khampelf

I DIDN"T EAT IT IN THE CAR, I JUST USED THE DRIVE-THRU AND TOOK IT HOME. WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT ME?

OH LOOK MORE BRAGGING. YOU HAVE A HOME. AND A CAR. AND YOU CAN AFFORD DRIVE THRU. BRAG. BRAG. BRAG.

[Atalanta]

I ate Velveeta shells and cheese with bacon bits and Little Debbie brownies for dessert. Don't hate me because I'm fabulous.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

It's basically shorthand for "come up with a research project that would benefit the community"

And then would you actually have to do this project at some future date? Because that would be a little too much like cutting your own switch for me.

[Atalanta]

Merry Christmas, Antonio! :jazz:

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

And then would you actually have to do this project at some future date? Because that would be a little too much like cutting your own switch for me.

No, that would be a grant proposal. :P This is just an essay for a scholarship application.

[Jaglavak]

This is hard for me to talk about, but... my modem croaked yesterday morning and I was without web access for almost two entire days!! I, I had to read a book!! And watch TV!!! It was awful! I almost had to be airlifted.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

This is just an essay for a scholarship application.

Right.

You are a Service Learning project coordinator who is helping a group of gardeners learn how to grow the baddest green death in the galaxy. Students will select from various proven cultivars such as Northern Lights, Sour Diesel, Wheelchair, and Caveman. Your role includes directing and assisting the students with research, coordinating field trips to learn from other successful grow operations, and helping students source the required equipment and supplies. As part of your oversight you will review the cultivation plans submitted by the students to ensure compliance with current best practices and procedures. At the conclusion of the project you will test each student's product for appearance, taste and efficacy, and provide written feedback on all aspects of their effort. This testing may be performed in a hot tub, couch, or hammock as appropriate and will include consumption of at least an ounce per student to ensure a thorough review. The goal is to enable students to maintain a major and continuous buzz throughout their daily life. This project will benefit the community through the improved attitude and mood of the students, and by extension the entire population of the area.

[sturmhauke]

My girlfriend's hotel wifi went out and caused some kind of Facebook glitch that prevented me from getting her messages for almost 24 hours. It was terrible.

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Right.

You are a Service Learning project coordinator who is helping a group of gardeners learn how to grow the baddest green death in the galaxy. Students will select from various proven cultivars such as Northern Lights, Sour Diesel, Wheelchair, and Caveman. Your role includes directing and assisting the students with research, coordinating field trips to learn from other successful grow operations, and helping students source the required equipment and supplies. As part of your oversight you will review the cultivation plans submitted by the students to ensure compliance with current best practices and procedures. At the conclusion of the project you will test each student's product for appearance, taste and efficacy, and provide written feedback on all aspects of their effort. This testing may be performed in a hot tub, couch, or hammock as appropriate and will include consumption of at least an ounce per student to ensure a thorough review. The goal is to enable students to maintain a major and continuous buzz throughout their daily life. This project will benefit the community through the improved attitude and mood of the students, and by extension the entire population of the area.

I like this. http://www.principiadiscordia.com/fo...ult/roglol.gif

[Guinastasia]

Our fridge is so full you can hardly find anything -- let alone find room for anything else you might buy, (and my dad has a tendency to go overboard if he sees something's on sale). You're constantly shifting things around to make more room.

And don't even get me started on the freezer in the basement! It's so packed you can barely close the lid. Trying to find something is like searching for Narnia.







_{Now THAT'S a FWP!}

[JoanieBaloney]

Ok so it's the new year and I made a resolution to eat healthy(ier) (?) (whatever) and I've been doing really well now that the holiday candy is gone (don't ask) and decided today was a great day to have one of those fancy protein shakes I keep hearing so much about. I've been saving and freezing stuff to put in them because I am going to do this ALOT because it's so good for you and I am all about healthy in 2014! So I put frozen sliced bananas, frozen coffee ice cubes, some natural peanut butter, chocolate protein powder and water into my blender to make a frothy and delicious ~but healthy!!~ treat (yum) and what happens?
Nothing.
Blender refuses to blend.
It's not like I can take the stuff out of the blender to reuse. But I can't drink the shake unless it's been blended. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Seriously, when will it end? (grabs cookie)

[Lungfish]

The screen on my newish smart phone is cracked. I don't know how it happened, I've only had it for 3 weeks.

[Guinastasia]

My favorite game on FB was pulled by the company that produces it. (No, it's not FarmVille, I stopped playing that a long time ago)

[Antonio]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

My favorite game on FB was pulled by the company that produces it. (No, it's not FarmVille, I stopped playing that a long time ago)

Is it Candy Crush? A man can dream.

Sent from my telex.

[Guinastasia]

Nope, Sorority Life.

[Clockwork Jackal]

My theatre style popcorn doesn't taste buttery enough.

[Jaglavak]

Real popcorn popped in a cast iron pot and drizzled with real butter is the path of truthy enlightenment.

[BrickaBracka]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

It's basically shorthand for "come up with a research project that would benefit the community"

I don't have any idea, really. Maybe I'll sit on it for a couple of days.

Which community?

[McNutty]

Yeah, get creative. Benefit the credit card fraud community, or the croatian hacker community, or the BDSM community.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by McNutty

...or the BDSM community.

But only lightly.

[Guinastasia]

My favorite nailpolish is all tacky and sticky. I'll probably have to throw it away.

[Paul in Qatar]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

It's basically shorthand for "come up with a research project that would benefit the community"

I don't have any idea, really. Maybe I'll sit on it for a couple of days.

Research items stocked in local food banks and so on. Find people in need and ask them what they cannot find in such facilities.

Feminine hygiene products, I am given to understand, are rarely donated.

[Despotic Harridan]

I treated myself to a can of shelled pistachios.

I miss the shelling.

[Rebo]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

My favorite nailpolish is all tacky and sticky. I'll probably have to throw it away.

The Asian girls at the salon always add something to it to thin it out. Acetone, maybe?

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Originally Posted by Despotic Harridan

I treated myself to a can of shelled pistachios.

I miss the shelling.

It's really weird, but true! I don't know why, but the shelling process makes eating pistachios so much more satisfying that merely eating shelled pistachios.

[Glazer]

Originally Posted by Despotic Harridan

I treated myself to a can of shelled pistachios.

I miss the shelling.

Has anyone ever seen a cashew in the shell?

[Rebo]

On TV, I think. Isn't there something about them that's bad - like the shells are poisonous?

ETA: Yep.

[Paul in Qatar]

Cashews got no shells, they grow at the bottom of a little, pear-shaped fruit. The whole thing is covered with a nasty hide that has poison-ivy tendencies.

[jali]

I just watched an informational video about cashews and I am happy to have learned something today! Thank you!

[Guinastasia]

My cat got diaarhea and stunk up the entire upstairs.

[Mr. Plumbean]

When I use my iPod with the treadmill at the gym, then transfer it to my car, the battery drains. Or vice versa. If I just leave it plugged into the car, it tends to stay charged, or just use it at the gym, but something about switching it back and forth makes it want to stay on and drain. Clearly I need a new iPod but I can't afford it.

[Mr. Plumbean]

Also, my heated seats don't even kick in until I'm halfway to work.

[Pansy]

Speaking of Cashews, Costco has the amazing toasted coconut coated cashews. It is a massive PITA to nibble off the coating without biting into that nasty excuse for a nut.