What's the most annoying shit on Facebook?

[Taur]

Originally Posted by Joey P

You might need to work on your anger management.

Can you tell I *really* don't want to see it anymore?

Originally Posted by jayjay

As long as she doesn't pull an Ed Ames...

Oofdah!

[eleanorigby]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

Where are you getting that definition? Most of the self-declared antitheists I know are using this one: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Antitheism

Eh, I was using the literal meaning of the word. The linked one works the same in my "argument", though. It's as obnoxious to be told you're simple-minded for believing in God as it is to be told you're misguided and evil for believing in either the "wrong" God or no god at all.


Antitheism is not the same as atheism, as Hitchens points out in your link-and that was my main point. Frankly, I don't care one way or another what you (or anyone else) believes or doesn't believe, as long as "you" stop trying to convince anyone else that "your" way is the right one/only one. I use quotation marks because I am not saying that you, Pons, were doing so.

Taur: that is also a FB pet peeve of mine. Like if you want to cure cancer! Tell Hillary what you really think of her! or whatever. That stuff is right up there with the annoying ads and "little tricks that Ellen DeGeneres doesn't want known".

[THespos]

Facebook is good for:

1. Kiddie pics
2. Birthday wishes
3. Snark/trolling

Anything else is better served by another vehicle. Political discussion? You're lucky if the people who disagree with you de-friend you. More likely they'll just stew silently and hurt your business reputation or worse. Head over to your favorite political message board. Groups? Google is better. Events? Better to go with a standalone service. Pictures of your food? Go with Pinterest. Instilling jealousy by trying to convince everyone you're constantly traveling to exotic beaches all over the place? Instagram. Celebrity attention-whoring? Twitter. Job hunting or drumming up business? LinkedIn.

As for most annoying shit? Shaking my head as my Dad - yes, my 70-year-old DAD - clicks on the "Look what this girl wore at the beach..." link and infects all his friends.

[happycamper*5]

Originally Posted by THespos

Facebook is good for:

1. Kiddie pics
2. Birthday wishes
3. Snark/trolling

Anything else is better served by another vehicle. Political discussion? You're lucky if the people who disagree with you de-friend you. More likely they'll just stew silently and hurt your business reputation or worse. Head over to your favorite political message board. Groups? Google is better. Events? Better to go with a standalone service. Pictures of your food? Go with Pinterest. Instilling jealousy by trying to convince everyone you're constantly traveling to exotic beaches all over the place? Instagram. Celebrity attention-whoring? Twitter. Job hunting or drumming up business? LinkedIn.

As for most annoying shit? Shaking my head as my Dad - yes, my 70-year-old DAD - clicks on the "Look what this girl wore at the beach..." link and infects all his friends.

That's all true, but unfortunately, the people who don't realize it are also too lazy to use multiple social networks. And, I think they assume that their FB friends will all agree with them. That could just be my guilty family members, though.

My 70 year old mother, thankfully, doesn't click on the links that show up on her FB feed. My much-younger-and-should-be-more-net-savvy relatives often do, though. It tickles me to no end when one of them starts crying that their FB page was "hacked."

The most amusing/annoying thing I've seen today is a picture equating the Apostles with the Duck Dynasty family.

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by eleanorigby

Eh, I was using the literal meaning of the word. The linked one works the same in my "argument", though. It's as obnoxious to be told you're simple-minded for believing in God as it is to be told you're misguided and evil for believing in either the "wrong" God or no god at all.


Antitheism is not the same as atheism, as Hitchens points out in your link-and that was my main point. Frankly, I don't care one way or another what you (or anyone else) believes or doesn't believe, as long as "you" stop trying to convince anyone else that "your" way is the right one/only one. I use quotation marks because I am not saying that you, Pons, were doing so.

Taur: that is also a FB pet peeve of mine. Like if you want to cure cancer! Tell Hillary what you really think of her! or whatever. That stuff is right up there with the annoying ads and "little tricks that Ellen DeGeneres doesn't want known".

I wasn't saying they were the same, I was saying that I find it obnoxious when people assume that just because I'm an atheist I'll for some reason agree with/approve of their antitheist bigotry.

Literally, the word means "against deity", and deity is not specified as singular or multiple, but can mean a particular deity or the concept of deity itself, depending on context.

[McNutty]

I've come to realize that there is one reason I'm happy to see my relatives posting all this political and jesus glurge on facebook. It means I'm not getting it in my email. Ever since my mother in law figured out how to use facebook, the volume of Fwd: Fwd: Re: Fwd: Fwd: SUPER FUNNY / OUTRAGE / JESUS LOVES YOU / LOOK OUT FOR GANG MEMBERS email I get has decreased dramatically.

However, this zen state requires you to apply the McNutty Facebook System, which I will share with you now for free.

1) Create a new facebook account. Give it a silly name that nobody will connect with you. There's a friend of a friend in my network named Poopinstein von Wrigglesbottom, but I don't think you should go that silly. It should sound like a real person's name, just in case Facebook cracks down on obviously-fake accounts. Let's say, something like Wellington J Hefflinger.

2) Friend-request all of your actual friends from this new account. Send them a note saying "hey, accept my friend request. this is actually <your real name>."

3) Go back to your real name account and unfriend everyone except your annoying relatives. This is now your family account. You basically never have to post anything here except the occasional kid picture for the grannies and aunts to ooh and aah over.

4) Use the Wellington J Hefflinger account to post all the stuff you'd normally post, with one caveat: you should be careful not to post any pictures of yourself or personally-identifying information, and you should be careful when you comment on things that your relatives might see. For example, don't respond to your wife's post (who is likely friends with people who are banished to your family account) with "I LIKE BEING MARRIED TO YOU, MY LOVELY WIFE".

5) Whenever anyone in your family asks about anything on Facebook, you should say "oh yeah, I have an account, but I don't really use it much."

Every once in a while, you log into your real-name account and brace yourself for a torrent of glurgey shit, so you can see if you have any messages, and maybe take a survey of who in your family has been mouthing off about what these days. It's not actually that bad if you can mentally prepare yourself for it.

I have been using this system for years and I really do think it's the recipe for Facebook happiness. There are some downsides, of course, but overall they're not too bad. There's the risk that Facebook cracks down on using fake names, which there have been rumors about in the past, but so far they haven't come to fruition. There's the fact that it's difficult for people to remember who the hell Wellington J Hefflinger is, but people who actually care about you won't forget, and that's really all that matters. You reduce the pool of people who are going to find you and connect with you on facebook, but I think that's as much a benefit as it is a drawback. Oh, and never posting any personally-identifiable information seems like being deceitful at first, but it actually turns out that's just a smart thing to do anyway, so having a concrete boogeyman (your relatives might find you) that's avoided in the same way as a more nebulous boogeyman (hackers, identity thieves, stalkers) is kind of a good thing.

[McNutty]

Originally Posted by McNutty

you should be careful when you comment on things that your relatives might see. For example, don't respond to your wife's post (who is likely friends with people who are banished to your family account) with "I LIKE BEING MARRIED TO YOU, MY LOVELY WIFE".

One more caveat: you may have one or two cool relatives who you wish to let in on the secret and friend from your Wellington J Hefflinger account. If one of these people posts something and it draws a dim-witted comment from a dim-witted relative, you should resist the urge to taunt the cool relative with a message saying "HA HA YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH <DIMWIT>" because that person will just turn around an threaten to expose your ruse.

For the record, I found this out when my brother posted something about Frederic Chopin and my idiot step-sister commented on it with -- I shit you not -- "who's that?"

[Wellington J Hefflinger]

Brilliant! Did I do it right?

[Poopinstein von Wrigglesbottom]

Originally Posted by McNutty

1) Create a new facebook account. Give it a silly name that nobody will connect with you. There's a friend of a friend in my network named Poopinstein von Wrigglesbottom, but I don't think you should go that silly. It should sound like a real person's name, just in case Facebook cracks down on obviously-fake accounts. Let's say, something like Wellington J Hefflinger.

Consider yourself de-friended. No one mocks a Wrigglesbottom.

[Wellington J Hefflinger]

This is the only time you see this phenomenon in your life, @Poopinstein von Wrigglesbottom!

Calendar August 2014

Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thur	Fri	Sat
					1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30
31

August, this year, will have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens only once every 823 years. The Chinese call it 'Silver pockets full. " So: send this to your friends and in four days money will surprise you. Based on Chinese Feng Shui. Whoever does not transmit the message ... may find themselves poor

[pickle berry]

This is why facebook is face-tarded.

Someone posted the crap in the above post and some other tard was like, "OMG!!!! Did you know that August 2014 is the only time that August 2014 will happen, in like forever?"

[McNutty]

LIFE HACKS!!!!!!!
PUT A RUBBER BAND AROUND YOUR BEER SO YOU KNOW WHICH ONE IS YOURS!!!!!
USE A COFFEE CUP AS A PEN HOLDER!!!
PUT SHOES ON SO YOU DON'T HURT YOUR FEET WHEN YOU GO OUTSIDE!!
EAT WHEN HUNGRY

[Mr. Plumbean]

USE BINDER CLIPS TO BIND SMALL SHEAFS OF PAPER.

[Jeff]

Which Life Hack are you? Take this Zimbio quiz and find out.

[Jaglavak]

If Jeff is on Facebook I think we just answered the OP.

[jali]

@Jeff I love Jeff on Community. Did you choose your name because of the show?

[Wolf Larsen]

He chose Jeff because his parents didn't name him Adolph.

[Jeff]

Originally Posted by jali

@Jeff I love Jeff on Community. Did you choose your name because of the show?

Well, I don't like to brag but that character is actually based on me. Sarcastic, likes scotch, not a shred of human decency, stylish dresser.

GUILTY AS CHARGED, YOUR HONOR

[Chacoguy]

THAT'S A GODDAMNED LIE, MOTHERFUCKER!!1!!

[Jaglavak]

Yeah! Jeff's no stylish dresser.

[Chacoguy]

HE IS NOT SARCASTIC, CUNT!

[Jaglavak]

:: squints ::

Ah, so it's all lies eh? Yes, of course... so obvious now.
Well. That certainly puts a different spin on things.

[Doyle]

Had a great workout today. Thanks to my bro' for pushing me hard. Feeling great now!


FUCK YOU!

[Mr. Plumbean]

Ha. I had a post like that yesterday about running. I don't do it all the time.

[Jaglavak]

One thing I've learned over the years is that nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to hear about my workouts.

[11thuntitledposter]

Originally Posted by jali

The "like" whore pages.

"Like if you hate cancer. Post if you want to find a cure." I HATE these.

Whenever I see those, I'm tempted to say, "I love (name of disease, social pathology, disaster, etc)" but a lot of people would rightfully find that offensive on many levels.

I can't stand the people who post anything that's anti-Obama, just because it's anti-Obama, even if it's blatantly false. I also don't like gun fetishists or militant atheists who spam the boards with memes that insult every imaginable religious belief, or conversely someone who posts 20 "I love Jesus" memes every day. We get it. Really. WE.GET.IT.

[11thuntitledposter]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

Like, I mean ANTITHEIST. Like, shit that if it was anti-black or anti-gay would be outright hate speech. But it's supposed to be OK because, you know, atheists are so oppressed. Apparently they consider themselves the most hated group ever of all time.

I know exactly where you're coming from. I unfriended a relative for posting a meme advocating a Christian holocaust. I really should have reported it, but didn't think of it at the time.

He's gotten into trouble at work for "preaching" to co-workers.

[11thuntitledposter]

I have another FBF who's divorced, and she posts memes up all the time stating how glad she was that she got rid of him.

She got divorced in 1981. GET OVER IT, WOULD YOU?

[jali]

Originally Posted by Jeff

Well, I don't like to brag but that character is actually based on me. Sarcastic, likes scotch, not a shred of human decency, stylish dresser.

GUILTY AS CHARGED, YOUR HONOR

I am so excited that a character from my favorite show is based on you. Just an idea: a little less product in your character's hair.

[Wolf Larsen]

That's not product.

[McNutty]

OH MY GOD my aunt has been milking the death of her fucking dog (which lived a very long life and died of old age) for weeks. Today she posted a picture of a goddamn shrine she built to it in her living room. WHY DO YOU THINK EVERYONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU MOAN ABOUT YOUR DEAD DOG.

[Wolf Larsen]

Send her a picture of the shrine you have to a tube of toothpaste that ran out in 1997.

[McNutty]

It is sad that certain people can not see clearly how the choices in their life has such a negative effect not only on them, but others who care about them. Only to attempt to transfer responsibility on those who have cared for and loved them throughout everything they have gone through.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by McNutty

Only to attempt to transfer responsibility on those who have cared for and loved them throughout everything they have gone through.

Veto! That's over the line into abusiveness. You should have a little private chat with granny and put her firmly in her place. If the private chat doesn't do it then make it public. Little old ladies can be among the rudest people, but only because they get away with it.

[loshan]

Originally Posted by McNutty

Little old ladies can be among the rudest people, but only because they get away with it.

Oh Hush! I am planning on being one of those little old ladies in the near future. You're ruining all my fun.

[McNutty]

I HAVE BEEN MISQUOTED

Jag, I don't even know what the hell she's talking about, so I'm certainly not going to go trying to tell her she's in the wrong. I steer clear of the facebook drama, not towards it. And it's an aunt, not a granny. Always the same aunt.

[boomerwang]

Originally Posted by McNutty

I HAVE BEEN MISQUOTED

I haven't been MOSQUITOED yet... is it a new Facebook craze?

Sent from my LG-P713 using Tapatalk

[Mr. Plumbean]

Anything where a bunch of people post serious-faced selfies with handwritten signs.

[McNutty]

PROOF THAT OUR LORD GOD JESUS AND BABY JESUS IS GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL

<photo of obviously photoshopped nature scene>

[AuntiePam]

Originally Posted by McNutty

PROOF THAT OUR LORD GOD JESUS AND BABY JESUS IS GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL

<photo of obviously photoshopped nature scene>

You got the cloud-angel too?

[McNutty]

Originally Posted by AuntiePam

You got the cloud-angel too?

No, I got a phony lake with a pixel-perfect reflection of the trees, mountains and sky fabricated by someone who doesn't understand the concept that the reflection is being viewed at a different angle than the stuff being reflected, so it must differ somewhat. Or they understood it and simply took artistic license; whatever.

I don't care that it's fake; it's a beautiful picture and I can appreciate that, but let's save the HURR DURR THIS OCCURS IN NATURE AND IS PROOF OF GOD shit, because the beautiful thing you're looking at does not actually occur in nature.

ETA: also, i'm no expert, but I think the picture is actually a fucking painting.

[BJMoose]

So far as I know, no religion makes prospective members take IQ tests.

[SMG15]

People posting every fucking b second if their vacation

People making death announcements above family members

People posting pics of themselves in the hospital bed

[SMG15]

Originally Posted by McNutty

WHO IN THE FUCK DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SIT DOWN AT A RESTAURANT AND PULL OUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE AND TAKE A PICTURE OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO EAT. CONGRATULATIONS, IT'S A FUCKING TACO. Why this has become a trend instead of something that everyone else in your party and all surrounding tables openly mocks, I do not know.

Going out to eat with the family to eat now is annoying because it's always a photo session after dinner now that we are in the Facebook era

[Jaglavak]

At the grocery there is a bin of selfie sticks up near the registers. The clerk says that about half of them get stolen anyway. I think that kind of says it all about selfies.

[McNutty]

I actually saw a selfie stick in public for the very first time last week. It was pretty funny: we were at the Silverwood theme park in Idaho, and a group of kids gathered for a picture and two different kids in the group held out selfie sticks to take photos. Meanwhile, another group of kids was walking past, and derisively started yelling "SELFIE STICKS! SELFIE STIIIIICKS!" while the first group yelled, "YEAH? SO WHAT?"

I smiled.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Little old ladies can be among the rudest people, but only because they get away with it.

[Jaglavak]

But you're supposed to bake cookies and be all sweet and nurturing and stuff!

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Nurturing is not really my thing, I can barely keep a plant alive. But I do love to bake cookies.

[SMG15]

Another one

when someone finds a job they become a philosopher on how to achieve life goals