If you open this thread, you must post in it before leaving

[SmartAleq]

That was fuckin awesome!

Wonder if @Chacoguy has seen it?

[Khampelf]

I'll have one of what Wolf's having.

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by SmartAleq

That was fuckin awesome!

Wonder if @Chacoguy has seen it?

I have now.

[SmartAleq]

High five!

[Random Precision]

I thought it was called Anti-Monkey Butt.

[Crackhead]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

I thought it was called Anti-Monkey Butt.

I think you are right.

[Random Precision]

They sell it at Tractor Supply, right next to the Chicken Poop (some kind of lip balm). I've never been tempted to try that either.

[Dosipede]

Chicken poop? Anti-monkey butt? What a crazy, modern world we live in! What will they think of next?

[Wolf Larsen]

Fuck no!

[Crackhead]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

They sell it at Tractor Supply, right next to the Chicken Poop (some kind of lip balm). I've never been tempted to try that either.

I tried it (anti-monkey butt), it soothed and reduced friction in that area. I would recommend it.

Has anyone noticed the improvement in my grammar, spelling and syntax?

[Dosipede]

Originally Posted by Crackhead

it soothed and reduced friction in that area.

Awwww yeah.

[Tripler]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diode

It's a slow night.

Fair enough.

Originally Posted by Glazer

I've always called it swamp ass.

Seconded.

See, lately I've been able to prevent my swamp ass by maintaining a seated posture for a minimum of 10 hours each week, the past three weeks, on either American or Southwest Airlines. While their baggage policies may chap my ass, I have not experienced any swamp ass like the last time I was in Afghanistan . . . or Ass-crack-istan as it's better known.

Those airline seats are not as nice as the AssMaster 3000 chair at my desk in Albuquerque. I call that my 'five-minute recovery chair' because I can recover there, but the phone always rings within five minutes.

Tripler
I look forward to the day I can retire to my Adirondack chair.

[Crackhead]

Originally Posted by Tripler

Fair enough.

Seconded.

See, lately I've been able to prevent my swamp ass by maintaining a seated posture for a minimum of 10 hours each week, the past three weeks, on either American or Southwest Airlines. While their baggage policies may chap my ass, I have not experienced any swamp ass like the last time I was in Afghanistan . . . or Ass-crack-istan as it's better known.

Those airline seats are not as nice as the AssMaster 3000 chair at my desk in Albuquerque. I call that my 'five-minute recovery chair' because I can recover there, but the phone always rings within five minutes.

Tripler
I look forward to the day I can retire to my Adirondack chair.

This reminds me, it's time for my daily application. Thank you.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by Wolf Larsen

Fuck no!

The Fuckno is on aisle 12 with the, ah, personal care products.

Originally Posted by Tripler

I look forward to the day I can retire to my Adirondack chair.

That is acceptable if the chair is located on a pontoon boat floating around Lake Tahoe.

[Wolf Larsen]

I sat in an Adirondack chair made out of Trex once. It was strangely comfortable.

[Random Precision]

What's strange about that? Adirondack chairs are ridiculously comfortable.

[SmartAleq]

And Trex is not a terribly bad material--decks made of it have really good traction and there's a little give to the boards that makes them comfy to the feet. Plus, no moss!

Anti-Monkey Butt may work well (I've used it on the dogs when they chew themselves to bits) but it sure does smell offensive. It's like nuclear powered baby lotion, bleah.

[Random Precision]

It comes in lotion and powder form.

Nuclear powered baby powder form!

[Crackhead]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

It comes in lotion and powder form.

Nuclear powered baby powder form!

I only thought it came in powder form. Well, this is exciting!

How is my syntax?

[Dosipede]

Are we still talking about monkey butts? Yep, still talking about monkey butts.

[Flying Saucerian]

Well, we could move on to clitorisuses but I'm not even sure that's the right plural.

[BJMoose]

Clitorides is the proper form.


If you wanna talk about monkey clits, you're on your own. . . .

[Flying Saucerian]

No, that's the tee-shirt butch lesbians wear: 'Free Clitorides'...

[Jaglavak]

It's a totally unneccessary word in the first place. Any man worth his spurs will admit that you can't do a decent job of handling more than one at a time anyway.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

How much do spurs cost, anyway?

[Random Precision]

I believe this type of spurs are grown, not purchased.


But they may be available for rent from time to time.

[SmartAleq]

I don't think I'd want to own more than one myself, they're enough trouble singly, let alone in multiples. That applies to the clitoris, of course, since spurs come in pairs.

[Jaglavak]

Ah, those were the days.

Woo hoo, 26K! I'm on a roll.

[Crackhead]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

Clitorides is the proper form.

Clitorides? Sounds biblical.

Like Paul to the Clitorites: "Ye shall not enter without risk, sayeth the lord. . . ."

I'm not even trying to make sense any more. Well that's a bit of an exaggeration, I'm trying to make enough sense that I'm not threadshitting or what have you; but damn dude, I gotta post every time? I really don't have that many interesting thoughts; and now y'all moved the conversation away from anti monkey-butt I don't really have much that's even worth writing down.

[Random Precision]

Like anyone in this thread has ever made a lick of sense.

[SmartAleq]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Ah, those were the days.

Woo hoo, 26K! I'm on a roll.

Along with all the rest of the bologna!

[Flying Saucerian]

I've always been virulently pro-monkey butt.

[Dosipede]

Internet was down all over town this morning. People were joking about how it was a North Korean plot.

[Khampelf]

My blood stream runs thick with midiclitorides. I'm like the Jedi of cunnilingus.

[ryevermouthbitters]

Crap. My mousepad is oversensitive and spontaneously clicked on this while I was moving the cursor to another thread.

[Wolf Larsen]

I the the Clitorides were a meteor shower.

[BJMoose]

There's gotta be a meatier shower pun begging to be played here, but I'm gonna have to leave that one for Elf-boy. (Too much candy today, methinks.)

[Crackhead]

Hey everyone merry christmas

[Random Precision]

Oops. I opened this thread without posting in it.

Sorry about that.

[Dosipede]

http://i.imgur.com/wV67Gm3.jpg

[Random Precision]

Originally Posted by Dosipede

http://i.imgur.com/wV67Gm3.jpg

That's a good one.

[Dosipede]

[SmartAleq]

Here, the only piece of Christmas music that I really like. Since there's an hour to go and all...

[Random Precision]

Thank you for that. Even though I own the album, I haven't listened to it this year. Just been busy.

[SmartAleq]

You're most welcome--I treat myself once a year to that, so it never gets stale. I don't think it's cheating, though, to also post this lovely rendition featuring Ian Anderson on the flute:

[Random Precision]

Thank you! I had not seen that rendition before. Truly beautiful.

[Flying Saucerian]

[EmilyG]

Just decided to open the thread again.

I got nothing.

[Crackhead]

I'm cold.

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by EmilyG

I got nothing.

That'll cost you. Soon you'll have less than nothing.