Snark Sauce: Durpz 57

[Someone]

Just another example of one of my pet peeves. READ THE THREAD!!!

Vaguely interesting thread about living next to historical sites.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=754495

kferr mentions in post #17 the old adage of 100 miles, 100 years.

Rand McNally responds WITH QUOTED SAYING in #20, relays anecdote.

Mrs.Goods replies WITH QUOTED SAYING in #21, relays anecdote.

BrotherCadfael, Post #22, five posts later of a one page, not wall of text thread says 100 miles, 100 years like he just invented it.

Now, I don't know BrotherCadfael from a hill of beans, but I can tell you which one has better reading skills.

Read the fucking thread, or stop posting. Seriously, why are you even there?

READ THE THREAD! READ THE THREAD! READ THE THREAD!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

READ THE THREAD! READ THE THREAD! READ THE THREAD!

In it's sister category:

DON'T LECTURE US ABOUT THE TOPIC IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

jsgoddess isn't usually such a sanctimonious moron, is she? If this is a one-off, I'll chalk it up to her trying to survive on 936 calories a day.*

Summary:

Gwyneth Paltrow is doing a "challenge" where she has to survive on $29 worth of food for a week. Her grocery list annoyed a lot of people for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it only works out to 936 calories a day, less than half of what most normal people have to eat. Jsgoddess is lecturing us on how very reasonable Gwyneth's choices are, because somehow jsgoddess missed the memo that the food was supposed to last for a week. And she bitched at us for it.

* jsgoddess isn't actually doing this. I'm just trying to come up with and excuse for her.

ETA: Oh great, she's continuing to lecture us without admitting that she was talking out of her ass before.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In it's sister category:

DON'T LECTURE US ABOUT THE TOPIC IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

That, my friend, is why we get such sage advice as "Use scaffold or a cherry picker to clean your gutters, it's the only way."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In it's sister category:

DON'T LECTURE US ABOUT THE TOPIC IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

jsgoddess isn't usually such a sanctimonious moron, is she? If this is a one-off, I'll chalk it up to her trying to survive on 936 calories a day.*

Summary:

Gwyneth Paltrow is doing a "challenge" where she has to survive on $29 worth of food for a week. Her grocery list annoyed a lot of people for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it only works out to 936 calories a day, less than half of what most normal people have to eat. Jsgoddess is lecturing us on how very reasonable Gwyneth's choices are, because somehow jsgoddess missed the memo that the food was supposed to last for a week. And she bitched at us for it.

* jsgoddess isn't actually doing this. I'm just trying to come up with and excuse for her.

ETA: Oh great, she's continuing to lecture us without admitting that she was talking out of her ass before.

Now she's breaking context and talking about what "worth" means in a "week's worth of food."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

ETA: Oh great, she's continuing to lecture us without admitting that she was talking out of her ass before.

You misread that and you look like a crazy person. Obviously, "she did not say it was a week's worth of food" was a reasonable statement to make and absolutely does not "out her as having no idea what the challenge was about." You look like you're spoiling for a fight and misunderstanding the statement (which is open to interpretation but its intended meaning is pretty obvious) on purpose to manufacture one.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You misread that and you look like a crazy person. Obviously, "she did not say it was a week's worth of food" was a reasonable statement to make and absolutely does not "out her as having no idea what the challenge was about." You look like you're spoiling for a fight and misunderstanding the statement (which is open to interpretation but its intended meaning is pretty obvious) on purpose to manufacture one.

Sorry, honey, but she didn't know what the challenge was about, and now she's resorting to Clinton-esque attempts to fan-wank her statement into something that makes her not-wrong. I may be durping it up pretty good in that thread, but it's not crazy to call someone out on bullshit, especially when they're defending anything about Gwyneth Paltrow.*

If you want to quibble over the shades of meaning of the word "worth," you'll have to find someone else to do it with. I stay out of GD for a reason.

* Disclaimer: That last phrase was just a joke. Because if you're really that interested in the question of what "worth" means, I have to assume you require this disclaimer.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Sorry, honey, but she didn't know what the challenge was about

Look, even if you think her points are poorly made or wrong, there's simply no chance she actually didn't understand the challenge. If you have some evidence other than a sentence you misinterpreted, offer it up.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In it's sister category:

DON'T LECTURE US ABOUT THE TOPIC IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

jsgoddess isn't usually such a sanctimonious moron, is she? If this is a one-off, I'll chalk it up to her trying to survive on 936 calories a day.*

Summary:

Gwyneth Paltrow is doing a "challenge" where she has to survive on $29 worth of food for a week. Her grocery list annoyed a lot of people for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it only works out to 936 calories a day, less than half of what most normal people have to eat. Jsgoddess is lecturing us on how very reasonable Gwyneth's choices are, because somehow jsgoddess missed the memo that the food was supposed to last for a week. And she bitched at us for it.

* jsgoddess isn't actually doing this. I'm just trying to come up with and excuse for her.

ETA: Oh great, she's continuing to lecture us without admitting that she was talking out of her ass before.

jsgoddess is usually quite sanctimonious like your high school girlfriend's drunken mother pretending to be sober and a figure of authority. But not a moron. The moron thing is new. I put her on ignore back in 2008 for I forget what, and haven't missed her. Spice Weasel (whom I respect, sorry about that SW) seems to think js is wonderful.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

jsgoddess is usually quite sanctimonious

Ran into her at the Sanctimony Awards, eh?

By the way, I nearly fell out of my chair when you didn't win the Smuggy for Best Screed. You were robbed, my friend. Next year for sure.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ran into her at the Sanctimony Awards, eh?

By the way, I nearly fell out of my chair when you didn't win the Smuggy for Best Screed. You were robbed, my friend. Next year for sure.

You should have pulled a Kanye.

[Someone]

Why does every thread that has anything to do with popular entertainment get immediately moved to Café Society?

I'm looking for a number, not a discussion of how bad SNL sucked in the early '80s. Jesus.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why does every thread that has anything to do with popular entertainment get immediately moved to Café Society?

I'm looking for a number, not a discussion of how bad SNL sucked in the early '80s. Jesus.

Did you initially put in in GQ? Because unless you have a SERIOUS GODDAMNED question or are trolling with retarded questions it gets booted because derp.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ran into her at the Sanctimony Awards, eh?

By the way, I nearly fell out of my chair when you didn't win the Smuggy for Best Screed. You were robbed, my friend. Next year for sure.

There are awards for sanctimony and best screed? Well I am disappointed. Will you please nominate me next year?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

jsgoddess isn't usually such a sanctimonious moron, is she?

Yes. Yes she is.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In it's sister category:

DON'T LECTURE US ABOUT THE TOPIC IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

Gwyneth Paltrow is doing a "challenge" where she has to survive on $29 worth of food for a week. Her grocery list annoyed a lot of people for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it only works out to 936 calories a day, less than half of what most normal people have to eat. Jsgoddess is lecturing us on how very reasonable Gwyneth's choices are, because somehow jsgoddess missed the memo that the food was supposed to last for a week. And she bitched at us for it.

* jsgoddess isn't actually doing this. I'm just trying to come up with and excuse for her.

ETA: Oh great, she's continuing to lecture us without admitting that she was talking out of her ass before.

So, as an avid Gwyneth Paltrow hater, I have to say, I think 936 calories a day is not much of a stretch for her from a calorie standpoint. She's very thin, and I'm not sure she actually does much of anything other than stand around being annoying. Yes, yes, she does yoga, but it's possible to do that and burn almost no calories at all (ok, it's a crappy way to do it, but I can't imagine the child pose takes a lot of energy).

So, with that out of the way, I didn't think jsgoddess was all that unreasonable - i.e. the diet seems fine for Gwyneth Paltrow and absolutely nobody else. But then you sort of lost your shit and she kind of doubled down on the 'This is tots fine for everyone! Just not for a week!' nonsense and then you doubled down on the rage and honestly both of you come across as a bit unhinged.

That being said, you are my favourite bean, so whatever.

[Someone]

Thanks, pickle berry. I was surprised that the info wasn't easy to find.

Originally Posted by Someone

So, with that out of the way, I didn't think jsgoddess was all that unreasonable - i.e. the diet seems fine for Gwyneth Paltrow and absolutely nobody else. But then you sort of lost your shit and she kind of doubled down on the 'This is tots fine for everyone! Just not for a week!' nonsense and then you doubled down on the rage and honestly both of you come across as a bit unhinged.

That being said, you are my favourite bean, so whatever.

Gwyneth Paltrow just makes me stabby.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Gwyneth Paltrow just makes me stabby.

Oh, c'mon----how could anyone hate an abnormally thin, blonde, gorgeous, rich, famous, sheltered, oblivious, elitist, snooty chick that has fucked at least 4 guys that could eat potato chips in my bed without negative repercussions?

[Someone]

Indubitably, old bean.

Originally Posted by Someone

Gwyneth Paltrow just makes me stabby.

I'd be kinda worried about you if she didn't.

[Someone]

DrMouthBreth durrs it up.

friedo responds the way I want to respond to most of DrDurr's posts.

Originally Posted by Someone

Jesus fucking christ. Are you being intentionally dense or just posting high? Did you read the second sentence I wrote?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In it's sister category:

DON'T LECTURE US ABOUT THE TOPIC IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

jsgoddess isn't usually such a sanctimonious moron, is she? If this is a one-off, I'll chalk it up to her trying to survive on 936 calories a day.*

Summary:

Gwyneth Paltrow is doing a "challenge" where she has to survive on $29 worth of food for a week. Her grocery list annoyed a lot of people for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it only works out to 936 calories a day, less than half of what most normal people have to eat. Jsgoddess is lecturing us on how very reasonable Gwyneth's choices are, because somehow jsgoddess missed the memo that the food was supposed to last for a week. And she bitched at us for it.

* jsgoddess isn't actually doing this. I'm just trying to come up with and excuse for her.

ETA: Oh great, she's continuing to lecture us without admitting that she was talking out of her ass before.

Jesus Fucking Christ. That's what you are arguing about?

Nope. Never-mind. Something I learned a long time ago. Don't stick your dick into a meat-grinder. I sense a few "meat-grinders"

Nope. Ain't stickin' my dick, there....

In'shallah....

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

jsgoddess isn't usually such a sanctimonious moron, is she?

I've not once seen anything to suggest the contrary.

Sanctimony coupled with intense, seething ignorance seems to be her strength.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BrotherCadfael, Post #22, five posts later of a one page, not wall of text thread says 100 miles, 100 years like he just invented it.

Some of us do that just to annoy the durpers. Not me though. I'm too high class for such shenanigans.