My Attraction to children

[Mr. Plumbean]

Yeah, it's like people get pissed at the actual idea of rehabilitation, let alone civil treatment of offenders. They are titillated with the idea of prison rape and relish stories of waterboarding and other "enhanced interrogation" techniques.

I've never had that desire to punish other people, but then, I'm morally bankrupt in many ways.

[BrickaBracka]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plumbean

Yeah, it's like people get pissed at the actual idea of rehabilitation, let alone civil treatment of offenders.

I see this often - People want the person to suffer for the crime forever, even if only in a minor way after the sentence is paid. Hence why felons can't get work after jail.

Originally Posted by Mr. Plumbean

They are titillated with the idea of prison rape and relish stories of waterboarding and other "enhanced interrogation" techniques.

I've never had that desire to punish other people, but then, I'm morally bankrupt in many ways.

Maybe a large portion of the population is titillated by the idea, but I wouldn't bet it's everyone. People would have to make the effort to acknowledge that a person paid their debt and changed their ways, and then spend the emotional energy overcoming their prejudice and actually forgive.

That's the hard part they can't get past. They're too attached to their anger to let it go.

[Colonel Plink]

Originally Posted by BrickaBracka

However you do find some pleasantry in the idea of a gruesome death, at your direction. Would this make you guilty according to your logic?

I never claimed logic was part of my argument.

I hate pedophiles.

I hate a lot of people.

[Mustard Stain]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plumbean

Yeah, it's like people get pissed at the actual idea of rehabilitation, let alone civil treatment of offenders. They are titillated with the idea of prison rape and relish stories of waterboarding and other "enhanced interrogation" techniques.

But consider too all the non-offenders. I think society would benefit a great deal if we were able to study the shit out of abstaining pedos. Most of our data know comes from known, convicted offenders. But for the large numbers of people who can manage to live their lives without victimizing anyone — it would really be worth knowing how they do it, if their brains are different than their offending peers, if there are identifiable risk indicators that could be used for prevention programs etc.

Instead we get: "You should be beaten to death just for having that thought in your head." That's not helpful or productive.

I was disappointed that Jeffery Dhamer went to prison instead of being incarcerated permanently in a mental helath facility. I think a lot more could have been learned by studying him 24/7.

Er... I guess that sounds like experimenting on prisoners. That's not how I mean it, I swear!

[Flying Saucerian]

A lot of pedophiles seem to try to cope by finding old movies and TV shows with 'legitimate' child nude scenes of the "Oh no, the goat ate our clothes while we were skinny-dipping!" type.

I used to think maybe that would be acceptable. After all, the films aren't actual porn, they already exist, and the children weren't harmed (as far as we know.)

The problem is, of course, it's doubtful the young actors and possibly even the film-makers would have known their work could be used for those purposes. While one can take a "What they don't know won't hurt them" attitude, they most likely would find out eventually. Worse, the films would likewise bear the stigma of being 'softcore kiddie-porn.' They deserve better than that.

One thing that frustrates me is even when we agree this is unacceptable, it then becomes frustrating trying to make sure the young actors don't end up being inadvertently exploited. Pedos, like everyone else, are willing to settle for less if they can't get what they want and trying to figure out what one can and can't show becomes more and more difficult. No actual nudity, fine. But then, what about fake nudity? No fake nudity, then how about underwear? Even huge, ugly, unrevealing underwear? No? How about shirtless shots?

Ultimately, you end up either putting the kids in burkas or realizing you can't completely shield them. You just have to try to be as responsible as you can.

[Mr. Plumbean]

deleted

[Mustard Stain]

deleted

Never mind, because Plumb never-minded his and I'm deleting the quote of his never-minded post.

[Mr. Plumbean]

Never mind. Maybe I read it wrong.

[BrickaBracka]

Originally Posted by Colonel Plink

I never claimed logic was part of my argument.

I hate pedophiles.

I hate a lot of people.

I appreciate your candor.

[BJMoose]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

"The internet has all kinds of interesting stuff, and once in awhile I even run into a bit of wisdom that just slaps me between the eyes. This guy on my favorite discussion board dropped this pearl of wisdom the other day, and so I told him I was going to steal it from him, and he said 'I dare ya!' and so here it is: 'This country is made of mostly ignorant people who do not want to confront that which they do not understand but makes them feel uneasy. So they jail it or toss it out in the cold instead.'

"Could not have said that better myself...."

So, basically, you'll be attributed as "this guy."

Too wordy.

And Bricka didn't dare you, though I'm sure he would if you asked nicely. . . .

[Anacanapuna]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

Too wordy.

And Bricka didn't dare you, though I'm sure he would if you asked nicely. . . .

Too wordy? Dude, that is my fucking column! And nobody cares if he actually dared me, I throw that shit in because the rubes readers love it. You ought to see how I quote you sometimes!

[Flying Saucerian]

As for the OP, I think a lot of that comes under the general heading, "Don't be a jerk. " You don't use or exploit or trick people no matter what age they are. You shouldn't spy on your hot neighbor showering whether said neighbor is ten or thirty.

[Zeener Diode]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

You ought to see how I quote you sometimes!

In high heels?

[BJMoose]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

Too wordy? Dude, that is my fucking column! And nobody cares if he actually dared me, I throw that shit in because the rubes readers love it. You ought to see how I quote you sometimes!

I didn't know papers allowed the use of dipshit now.


And lemme guess: you're paid by the word.

[no_chomo]

There's been a lot of good discussion going on since the last time I checked in, not much of it directed at me. So I don't have much to respond to. There are just a few things I'd like to say.

The cracked article shared earlier was very good. Thanks for sharing it. I read Cracked a lot and had never come across that one.

@Colonel Plink, I think it's perfectly healthy to hate pedophilia. In fact, it is that hatred/disgust of it that keeps me on a path of no-harm to children. When I'm out and about, and come into contact with a child I find an attraction to... yes I feel the attraction, but I also feel disgusting and upset with myself that I feel that way. It doesn't make the attraction go away, but it definitely makes the desire to actually act on it go away. I know that it has to be something that only happens in my mind (of course I'd prefer not to be attracted at all).

@Flying Saucerian, your words have made me rethink my practices. I agree with you 100%. It wouldn't be right to spy on a neighbor and get my jollies on it. In that vein, it's not right to use otherwise innocent photographs as spank material. I'm going to work hard to resist the temptation to do that from now on. I still maintain that drawn and written stories that come only from someone's imagination and do not involve the exploitation of an actual child will continue to be an important part of how I manage my desires in the best way possible (and I realize it's not a particularly good way, but I know from experience that trying to abstain entirely from fantasizing results in an extremely difficult life). Thanks for that input.

@Mustard Stain, I would love to be part of a scientific/medical study as a non-offending person attracted to children. I would do it in a heartbeat. More than most people, because of my disorder, I feel an extra obligation to contribute as much to society as possible. And if they could study my brain and learn something from it that ends up helping people, that would make me feel incredibly happy. I wonder how I would go about finding things like that?

[Anacanapuna]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

I didn't know papers allowed the use of dipshit now.


And lemme guess: you're paid by the word.

Yes, but they'll only use 750 of my words at any one time so ...

[Mustard Stain]

Originally Posted by no_chomo

I would love to be part of a scientific/medical study as a non-offending person attracted to children. I would do it in a heartbeat. More than most people, because of my disorder, I feel an extra obligation to contribute as much to society as possible. And if they could study my brain and learn something from it that ends up helping people, that would make me feel incredibly happy. I wonder how I would go about finding things like that?

Well, if you're in the U.S. you pretty much can't. Worse, if you are in a state with mandatory reporting, like California, you may get yourself in serious legal doo-doo even though you have never committed a crime (although, if you have ever accessed actual child porn that would probably be an actionable offense and should earn you a legit ass-kicking anyway). Unlike some other countries, there is no distinction really made between and abstainer and a sex offender.

That's one of the problems highlighted in the Cracked article.

And also it kind of goes hand in hand with the crappy state of mental health care in the U.S. in general.

[tar503]

Ok, time's up. This was me. I'm tired of hiding it. And it was cowardly of me not to do it in the first place under my regular name. But I have no more fucks left to give.

I have been in therapy for depression for a while, and I've talked extensively with my therapist about this issue. She is aware and supportive of how I handle it, as long as no actual children are being harmed, exploited, etc. I will continue to see her and possibly others and keep my attractions in check, but at the end of the day I want everyone to understand that pedophile does not equal child molestor, and it does not equal bad person.

[Chacoguy]

[JackieLikesVariety]

And also it kind of goes hand in hand with the crappy state of mental health care in the U.S. in general.

this right here for sure.

Ok, time's up. This was me. I'm tired of hiding it. And it was cowardly of me not to do it in the first place under my regular name. But I have no more fucks left to give.

Drew? you made at least some difference posting this: I now get this

I want everyone to understand that pedophile does not equal child molestor,

in a way I didn't before. so thank you for posting it and I so wish you the best. honestly, I don't see how you can be doing any better with the hand you've been dealt.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by drewtwo99

Ok, time's up. This was me. I'm tired of hiding it. And it was cowardly of me not to do it in the first place under my regular name. But I have no more fucks left to give.

I have been in therapy for depression for a while, and I've talked extensively with my therapist about this issue. She is aware and supportive of how I handle it, as long as no actual children are being harmed, exploited, etc. I will continue to see her and possibly others and keep my attractions in check, but at the end of the day I want everyone to understand that pedophile does not equal child molestor, and it does not equal bad person.

Happy Festivus, everyone!

All I can say is I'm glad you found a good therapist who is willing to work with you on this, and I wish you patience and strength for the future. You seem like an all right guy to me FWIW.

[SmartAleq]

Seems to me you've been bearing the burden all on yourself, drew, and have resisted the easier course of letting your predilections rule you. I admire your strength in coping with what has to be about the crappiest hand of life cards EVAR. Good on ya, you know we're here if you need a shoulder, right?

[tar503]

Thanks for the support and kind words. As you guys know I'm going through a severe depression and being able to be open about this, "coming out" as a person who has an attraction to children, is really helping me feel better about myself and hopeful toward the future.

I recently told my room mate and my sister and both were very understanding and supportive and sympathetic. It really has felt great.

I am so happy that I have so many wonderful, understanding people in my life.

[SmartAleq]

It's good you have a support system--isolation makes mental issues way worse and having people you can rely on to give you reality checks and to be accountable to is about the best gift anyone struggling with life can possibly have. Good for them, too!

[Detroit Hoser]

You already know how I feel about you and what you've divulged, Drew. I'm glad you're beginning to get a grip on feeling better.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by drewtwo99

Thanks for the support and kind words. As you guys know I'm going through a severe depression and being able to be open about this, "coming out" as a person who has an attraction to children, is really helping me feel better about myself and hopeful toward the future.

I recently told my room mate and my sister and both were very understanding and supportive and sympathetic. It really has felt great.

I am so happy that I have so many wonderful, understanding people in my life.

When you find yourself give-a-fuckless, it's good to surround yourself with people who have plenty of fucks to give.

[thigh high socking]

Originally Posted by drewtwo99

Thanks for the support and kind words. As you guys know I'm going through a severe depression and being able to be open about this, "coming out" as a person who has an attraction to children, is really helping me feel better about myself and hopeful toward the future.

I recently told my room mate and my sister and both were very understanding and supportive and sympathetic. It really has felt great.

I am so happy that I have so many wonderful, understanding people in my life.

Just read the last post. NM

[Anacanapuna]

Drew, we all have a dark side, and if some of us -- and by "some of us" I mean me -- ever came completely clean about what goes on in our minds sometimes, other posters may recoil in horror. We all have desires we've never acted on, and sometimes the not-acting-on can be almost physically painful. So you are not alone, and I don't think anyone on this message board is in any position to judge you.

You may already know that I place great value on people being civilized toward each other, and one of the hallmarks of a civilized person is to voluntarily transcend one's base desires. By that measure you are one of the most civilized people I know.

[Zeener Diode]

My dark side involves a threesome with Megyn Kelley and Megan Fox and a jar of marshmallow fluff. No, that's not true, I hate marshmallow fluff. I meant a ball gag and a soundproof room. But maybe I've said too much...

[BrickaBracka]

Being honest about yourself gives others the opportunity to be honest about themselves.

Sometimes that means you're no longer spending time or even actively avoiding certain people.

Fair enough. Nobody wants to be around someone who isn't genuine.

If there are now people in your life, even tangentially like on this message board, who decide your honesty about your struggles makes you a demon, then I'd not be wasting any emotional energy getting them to "come around".

If I were you I would stop short of publicizing this information in an attempt to bring about societal change in attitudes towards pedophiles. There are far too many willfully ignorant people in this world, far too many emotionally stunted and myopic people - it won't end well for you or anyone else.

[Khampelf]

I agree with my esteemed colleague, we all have a dark side. I was once one more bad day away from taking up a career in bank robbery.

[Guinastasia]

Jesus, Drew, I'm so glad to hear you're getting help. Good luck.

One tip though: avoid "Virtual Pedophiles" (aka VirPed). It's a so-called online support group for pedophiles who don't want to hurt kids, but from what I've seen through articles written about it is that it's basically a place for dudes to go and share their fantasies, while patting themselves on the back about what good people they are. Or at the very least, while they may be "celibate", they don't seem very "virtuous".