January Jonesing for Snark? (Derp Thread 68)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

:bobbie:

:brit:

Giraffe, why hast Thou forsaken us?

[Someone]

:brit:
We need a Spanish smilie for Nava. Something Spainy like a bandito in a sombrero, riding a burro while eating a taco.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's still yammering about Teh Gay?

He's not homophobic, though. Because "there are a number of blatantly covert [dafuq?] gay men and women who count me as their friend."

[Someone]

:brit: ?

:bobbie: ?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

:brit:
We need a Spanish smilie for Nava. Something Spainy like a bandito in a sombrero, riding a burro while eating a taco.

Exactly none of those things are Spainy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Exactly none of those things are Spainy.

[Someone]

Yes, I know it was a joke. It just wasn't a good one.

[Someone]

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

:brit:
We need a Spanish smilie for Nava. Something Spainy like a bandito in a sombrero, riding a burro while eating a taco.

Why? Is she from Spain?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This noob should make a big splash!

And banninated just after 8 this morning. Sock, no doubt.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why? Is she from Spain?

Based on RatedZ's list, I'm guessing she's from Mexico.

[Someone]

[Someone]

And Big T makes his proclamation from his throne on Mt. Olympus room in Mom's basement:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...2&postcount=11

[Someone]

No, you had it right. I'm pretty sure he posts from the throne.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

No, you had it right. I'm pretty sure he posts from the throne.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And Big T makes his proclamation from his throne on Mt. Olympus room in Mom's basement:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...2&postcount=11

Take heart, poor dipshit D'Anconia, because BigT too has suffered the pain of posting something stupid and then someone reminding him later how stupid it was.

Originally Posted by Someone

It fucking sucks.

Now we have confirmation: it truly does hurt to be that stupid.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"H'oh, h'its a jol-ee 'oliday wiv yew, Mawy Poppinz!"

< shudders >

Worst. British. Accent. In. The. Entire. History. Of. Cinema.

I heard an interview with him once, and he was pretty cheerful in admitting this. According to him, the studio assigned him a vocal coach; they couldn't find an Englishman so they gave him a guy from Ireland.

The thing about DVD is that he drops into any role and just plays the same part over and over again. He was even likable as the murderer of the week on Columbo.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled snark.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Minor Accomplishments You Are Proud Of:

- I never buy new clothes!
- I have Spotify!
- I don't even have to wash!
- No piercings!

I'm the asshole at work.

Well congrats.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Minor Accomplishments You Are Proud Of:

- I never buy new clothes!
- I have Spotify!
- I don't even have to wash!
- No piercings!

It's time for another round of "Guess the Pompous Ass"!

I am a direct paternal descendant of two notable settlers at the 1st colony at Jamestown. I have the same last name and a well-documented family tree to prove it. I didn't do anything to earn that of course but it was really cool when my father, my brother and I went to Jamestown on a quiet December day a couple of years ago. They treated us like royalty once I showed the my documentation. I live in Mayflower country so I silently roll my eyes when anyone references those johnny-come-latelys.

[Someone]

..not un-early settlers...

ETA: Damn! Swing and a miss.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm the asshole at work.

Well congrats.

"I can't tie a tie!"

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's time for another round of "Guess the Pompous Ass"!

I got it! I got it! Next stop, Jeopardy!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's time for another round of "Guess the Pompous Ass"!

Shagnasty. He's bragged about it before.

Now let's click and see if I'm right... SCORE! How many internets do I win?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's time for another round of "Guess the Pompous Ass"!

How do you get treated like royalty at Jamestown? The historical reenactors pretend really hard that it's the 17th century? Free hard tack at Ye Olde Gifte Shoppe? What a dope showing up with sheets of documentation that I'm sure everyone was very interested in. "Sir, these family trees appear to be stuck together with bodily secretions and this one here is a nothing more than a printout detailing how you swapped places with your friend in a closet and made out with his girlfriend. Please take this shit to Plimoth Plantation."

[Someone]

Define "naked butt".

Of course, you'll need to refer to the masterwork on the subject:

I agree that bethonged buttocks are naked. But the OP confused the issue by referring to the ass. An ass is more than just a pair of buttocks. It is the whole unit which includes the buttocks along with the crack and the anus. So an ass can be covered by a thong (at least key portions of it anyway) even when the buttocks are naked.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Define "naked butt".

Of course, you'll need to refer to the masterwork on the subject:

You forgot to mention the best part of the earlier thread:

Originally Posted by Someone

A string up the crack does not un-naked make.

Holy shit was that guy a parody of himself. I miss him.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

How do you get treated like royalty at Jamestown? The historical reenactors pretend really hard that it's the 17th century? Free hard tack at Ye Olde Gifte Shoppe? What a dope showing up with sheets of documentation that I'm sure everyone was very interested in.

I'm kind of boggling at the idea of someone insecure enough to do this, and to think that the recognition it gets is something to savor and talk about.

Like... my family name would be recognized in a couple places. It has never occurred to me that I carry documentation. I can just describe the highlights, and my place in the family tree, if anyone cares--which there is no reason to do, unless specific subjects of local or family history come up.

I wonder if our boy here has had people doubt him (or just smirk) when he prattled about his "notable" lineage before.

[Someone]

It's OK, I understand. A commoner like you would naturally be jealous.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Shagnasty. He's bragged about it before.

Now let's click and see if I'm right... SCORE! How many internets do I win?

This guy is now your own personal bitch.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You forgot to mention the best part of the earlier thread:

Holy shit was that guy a parody of himself. I miss him.

He loses points for not saying crack qua crack, though.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Define "naked butt".

Here's an example of it being used in conversation: "I thought she was totally naked, butt she actually had a postage stamp stuck to her ass."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Huh.


Not sure what to think about this one.


Maybe it'll grow on me.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Huh.


Not sure what to think about this one.


Maybe it'll grow on me.

It'll grow like MAGIC!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The mouse-over on this says "Exit, stage left", but it is clearly exiting stage right.

This is intolerable.

[Someone]

<- is left. Sheesh.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

<- is left. Sheesh.

Stage left. From the point of view of the person (or smilie) on the stage or behind the arrow that's stage right.

[Someone]

That assumes I care what HIS point of view is. It's all about me. Me, me, me.

And for me, <- is the left side of the stage.

Nice, AH SAY, NICE Spacer, but he's got the attention-span of an overripe grapefruit. Citrus, that is.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That assumes I care what HIS point of view is. It's all about me. Me, me, me.

And for me, <- is the left side of the stage.

Nice, AH SAY, NICE Spacer, but he's got the attention-span of an overripe grapefruit. Citrus, that is.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That assumes I care what HIS point of view is. It's all about me. Me, me, me.

And for me, <- is the left side of the stage.

Sure it is. But it's house left, not stage left.

[Someone]

Oh no, my kid wants clothes that have BRAND LABELS!!!! Whatever shall I do? I mean, yeah, he can use his own money, but that would make him like, a conformist!!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

<- is left. Sheesh.

from the source!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3-a4qWCtIg

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

from the source!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3-a4qWCtIg

It's funny that the top comment on that video is someone pointing out that it's actually stage right.

[Someone]

The thing is, you don't have to use fancy book-l'arnin' words like "exit stage left", but if you do, you should use 'em right. Otherwise you just look like a mute burro.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Here's an example of it being used in conversation: "I thought she was totally naked, butt she actually had a postage stamp stuck to her ass."

Oh, a philatelist, huh?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh, a philatelist, huh?

Philately will get you anywhere.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It'll grow like MAGIC!

That one looks like a spooging dick.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That assumes I care what HIS point of view is. It's all about me. Me, me, me.

And for me, <- is the left side of the stage.

Nice, AH SAY, NICE Spacer, but he's got the attention-span of an overripe grapefruit. Citrus, that is.

No, no, no, no, no. For "Exit, stage left" you do that in a Snagglepuss voice, not Foghorn Leghorn. Whatta maroon

[Someone]

Not sure if anyone caught this one, seeing how it was originally posted last year (don't really care either). Teuton asks Which creation myth are you most fond of?

Guess how many posts until we get:

Honestly, none of them since none of them are even remotely true. Granted that may sound rude, but that is my view.

Go on, guess!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not sure if anyone caught this one, seeing how it was originally posted last year (don't really care either). Teuton asks Which creation myth are you most fond of?

Guess how many posts until we get:

Honestly, none of them since none of them are even remotely true. Granted that may sound rude, but that is my view.

Go on, guess!

Gonna guess the very first reply...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh no, my kid wants clothes that have BRAND LABELS!!!! Whatever shall I do? I mean, yeah, he can use his own money, but that would make him like, a conformist!!!!

Teaching a kid not to be just another brand-conscious spendbot in the thrall of Big Overpriced-Crap-You-Don't-Need actually strikes me as a noble endeavor. Doomed, but noble.