19-- Big Durper Is Snarking YOU --84

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

As others have said, it's not just her "habits" - it's that everything I do from breathing noisily onwards is a deliberate personal offense that only someone out to make her upset would do... while her actions are either my imagination or completely normal or something I should be happy to have around.

Bolded part of that quote is probably all he needed to say.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

people don't normally refer to where they live as "New England." They refer to the state, or city, or whatever, unless they really are referring to the whole region.

I only refer to the area I live as the Pacific Northwest only if I'm talking with someone that I wouldn't expect to know where Oregon is. Recently I was chatting with someone online who was in India. I did tell that person I lived on the west coast of the United States. But there are huge differences between groups of people within just my own state, nevermind including Washington and Cali people in as if we were one homogeneous group.

[Someone]

Time for a divorce. Again.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0#post20172190

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Time for a divorce. Again.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0#post20172190

Speaking of wives intolerably interfering with a man's food, whatever did happen to Superhal, that Superman of Sarcasm?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Time for a divorce. Again.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0#post20172190

I was reading that one and was mentally congratulating L.A. for not using durp-speak cow-orker (irritates me to no end). Next post, snfaulkner hits a nerve with sammich. Makes me want to sammich him in the face.

[Someone]

Troll asks for examples of other trolls to emulate.

[Someone]

dropzone, who's not all that tightly wound at the best of times:

"I don't have a problem with your gayity, as long as you don't throw it in my face."

Originally Posted by Someone

In real life I'm okay with it, because most people keep their gender preferences under their hats. I know many people who i don't have the slightest clue about whether they are gay or straight because I don't ask, they don't tell, and I don't care. Be yourself and I might eventually put together the pieces, but it may take a while:

Me, looking through the mail: There's a letter addressed to our oldest and a Stephanie. Who is Stephanie?

Wife: That's Rob, who she's lived with for two years.

Me: Oh. It explains the Jeep.

But TV keeps throwing it in my face. The new Dr Who companion is gay, as is a character in the spinoff, Class. It doesn't need to be established in the first five minutes, unless it's critical to the character's development. Let it grow naturally, as it does IRL with people who aren't nosy.

Yeesh, does anyone really care if I know who they fuck? FTR, no, I don't.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=825069

[Someone]

In the "Dick Slicers" thread, Siam Sam has to link to a thread he started that once again proves he's a perv.

[Someone]

Amazingly, Leo Bloom, Idiot, actually asks an intelligible question for a change.

He links to a cool video, too.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

dropzone, who's not all that tightly wound at the best of times:

"I don't have a problem with your gayity, as long as you don't throw it in my face."

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=825069

That thread was never going to go the way he thought it would.

[Someone]

Sport/game for elderly people some with dementia?

Aceyplacey: "Walking is a great game. Why I've even almost won a few times."

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=825002

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Amazingly, Leo Bloom, Idiot, actually asks an intelligible question for a change.

He links to a cool video, too.

Looks to me like someone hacked Leo's account.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Sport/game for elderly people some with dementia?

Aceyplacey: "Walking is a great game. Why I've even almost won a few times."

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=825002

Maybe someone can take him for a walk and leave him there.

[Someone]

From the previous Snark Thread:

Originally Posted by Someone

Has anyone snarked on poster constanze's weird use of random capitalized words throughout his or her posts? I keep thinking that these words are being emphasized for effect or something, but it looks like it's just random. It's very distracting, just like overuse of ellipses, and I can't read his or her posts anymore.

Here's an entire thread of her "Random Capitalization Goodness" for your reading pleasure aggravation!

[Someone]

NEW TROLL!
Trolololo

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

NEW TROLL!
Trolololo

Hey @kayaker! I notice that you posted in that thread an hour and a half before I found it and brought it here! You're falling down on your Snarking Duties.

Three Demerits for you!

BTW: In case it gets cornfielded and someone misses it, I've got a copy at least up to somewhere on page 2. I can send it to you as an HTML file.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

NEW TROLL!
Trolololo

Correction: women find HIS fun stuff ugly.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Correction: women find HIS fun stuff ugly.

damn, that's a funny thread

[Someone]

Um....

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Um....

In case of cornfielding...

Help me I've been raped by -redacted- for 9 years Please help. -redacted- at Ts Bar and Grill in Lewisville, Tx has put a powered antenna chip in my ear next to my eardrum. I am psychic and it feels like his naked penis is sexually abusing me all day long because he doesn't ever turn off the powered antenna. He plots how he wants to set me up to send me to prison all day long in my brain and it is scary and there is pressure behind my eyes from it. Can someone please help? -redacted- told everyone about Dr. Brown at Highline hospital and how he is in on it too. I made videos about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db7I...ature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNFa...ature=youtu.be Love you and God bless Joshua Cassell

ETA: And banned already. (1:11p)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Um....

Cornfielded already, but I was able to copy and paste it:

Originally Posted by Someone

Help me I've been raped by -redacted- for 9 years

Please help. -redacted- at Ts Bar and Grill in Lewisville, Tx has put a powered antenna chip in my ear next to my eardrum. I am psychic and it feels like his naked penis is sexually abusing me all day long because he doesn't ever turn off the powered antenna. He plots how he wants to set me up to send me to prison all day long in my brain and it is scary and there is pressure behind my eyes from it. Can someone please help? -redacted- told everyone about Dr. Brown at Highline hospital and how he is in on it too.

I made videos about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db7I...ature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNFa...ature=youtu.be

Love you and God bless

Joshua Cassell

ETA: @running coach

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Correction: women find HIS fun stuff ugly.

He wasn't banging YOU, bitch. Yours is so fugly that only Bus Ticket Nonny...

Oh, wait. It's him, isn't it.

I guess we know who the current troll is. "All ABOARD! GREYHOUND! Next stop, Pittsburgh".



The new Snark Mystery: Who is "Bus Ticket Nonny".

"The World Wonders".

ETA: And now we see why they let the troll I found live. The previous two three posts show how trolling should have been done.

[Someone]

Maybe it's you

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Maybe it's you

One would hope so.

[Someone]

Nevertheless, Mods have weighed in, and they let the troll live.

They are not really too keen on killing trolls. They prefer to play with 'em. Kinda like my cats.

ITD,

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And banned already. (1:11p)

Videos taken down too unsurprisingly.

[Someone]

I've sent a report suggesting that the name of the supposed rapist be redacted. I doubt that he deserves this shit.

[Someone]

ElvisL1ves is bitching because tomndebb won't moderate this as a personal attack :

That is one of the most retarded arguments ever presented

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=825157

[Someone]

Acey switched from landline to VOIP. Why? Because it's cheaper? Because it's better? Because it's more high-tech? Nope, nope, and nope. He switched because AT&T wouldn't leave him the fuck alone:

Originally Posted by Someone

I really wanted to keep my landline and DSL. I was badgered several times a week with calls from AT&T. I held out nearly a year before caving in to sales pressure.

Notice how it's "I," not "we." Once again he forgot that his wife existed.

[Someone]

Dinsdale blew off attending his wife's choral concert because he hates classical music. Now she's pissed at him, so of course he runs to the Dope for moral support. He rationalizes that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't want her attending something she hated, so what's the big deal?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dinsdale blew off attending his wife's choral concert because he hates classical music. Now she's pissed at him, so of course he runs to the Dope for moral support. He rationalizes that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't want her attending something she hated, so what's the big deal?

I was just about to link to that thread: it seems to be Spousal Resentment Month over there.

[Someone]

Guess who joined AARP in order to get the senior discount at Denny's?

You get three guesses and the first two don't count.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Guess who joined AARP in order to get the senior discount at Denny's?

You get three guesses and the first two don't count.

I wonder if acey wears one of these?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Acey ...
Notice how it's "I," not "we." Once again he forgot that his wife existed.

Even if he has a wife, he's the kind of guy who wouldn't let her have a say in that sort of thing, anyway, so it really doesn't indicate anything one way or the other.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dinsdale blew off attending his wife's choral concert because he hates classical music. Now she's pissed at him, so of course he runs to the Dope for moral support. He rationalizes that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't want her attending something she hated, so what's the big deal?

I love how he titled it "PARTICIPATING in your SO's Activities," as if she expected him to SING in the choir, not just attend a performance.

Having attended more than one junior high school* chorus performance, I kind of understand how he's feeling, but not really. It would have never occurred to me not to go.

Dinsdale's and Frylock's wives should ditch those losers, run off together, and become a athletic/musical lesbian power couple.



* the elementary school ones were actually better, if only because the choir director chose better songs - not just for the audience, but also for the kids. They had fun with Billy Joel's River of Dreams, for example, and it showed in a good performance. It was also obvious they hated singing that "peeeeeople, who need peeeeople, are the luckies peeeeeople in the world" song. I mean, wouldn't you?

[Someone]

Maybe beating your kids is a great for releiving stress?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I love how he titled it "PARTICIPATING in your SO's Activities," as if she expected him to SING in the choir, not just attend a performance.

Having attended more than one junior high school* chorus performance, I kind of understand how he's feeling, but not really. It would have never occurred to me not to go.

Dinsdale's and Frylock's wives should ditch those losers, run off together, and become a athletic/musical lesbian power couple.



* the elementary school ones were actually better, if only because the choir director chose better songs - not just for the audience, but also for the kids. They had fun with Billy Joel's River of Dreams, for example, and it showed in a good performance. It was also obvious they hated singing that "peeeeeople, who need peeeeople, are the luckies peeeeeople in the world" song. I mean, wouldn't you?

And so far only a couple of people have picked up on the general assholishness of his post, and how little his thread title has anything to do with what he's saying. No, you utter jerk off, your wife is not asking you to PARTICIPATE in choral singing. She's asking you to ATTEND something that's she worked very hard for months on, and you're such a selfish "me me me" dick that you can't be bothered even to show up.

Reminds me of the time when I co-wrote a play with some other writers and then we performed it. My husband at the time refused to go because it "wasn't his thing". Instead he went to the bar as usual to play pool and drink beer. Then of course he was shocked, SHOCKED, when eventually I left his loserish ass. My husband now (of over 20 years!) wouldn't dream of not showing up for something that mattered to me. Because, you know, that's what PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU DO.

Ugh. Some people. Ugh.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dinsdale's and Frylock's wives should ditch those losers, run off together, and become a athletic/musical lesbian power couple.



* the elementary school ones were actually better, if only because the choir director chose better songs - not just for the audience, but also for the kids. They had fun with Billy Joel's River of Dreams, for example, and it showed in a good performance. It was also obvious they hated singing that "peeeeeople, who need peeeeople, are the luckies peeeeeople in the world" song. I mean, wouldn't you?

Oh, yes, Frylock is the "why is my wife upset that I don't want to go to her athletic events?" thread guy.

And I'm with you on "peeeeeeeooooooople, who need peeeeeeeeeeeoooooplllllleeee" but now I'm picturing it sung as a duet by a lesbian power couple and it's a lot better that way.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Videos taken down too unsurprisingly.

The liks were broken by the C&P in the posts above, but I found 'em. Dude made a Wordpress page that links to 'em.

ETA: Long, with sucky music. Would not recommend.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The links were broken by the C&P in the posts above, but I found 'em. Dude made a Wordpress page that links to 'em.

Why would you do such a thing?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The liks were broken by the C&P in the posts above, but I found 'em. Dude made a Wordpress page that links to 'em.

ETA: Long, with sucky music. Would not recommend.

Um, they don't look broken to me. They're click-able in the above posts, on my phone, anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Um, they don't look broken to me. They're click-able in the above posts, on my phone, anyway.

They're clickable links, but the C&P process malformed them, so Youtube says the videos don't exist.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because, you know, that's what PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU DO.

:: puzzled ::

Is this more of those emissions... sorry, emotions I've been reading about?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

:: puzzled ::

Is this more of those emissions... sorry, emotions I've been reading about?

*pats on head*

I know, it's tough.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

They're clickable links, but the C&P process malformed them, so Youtube says the videos don't exist.

Ah, I see. I didn't bother following them through to see if they resolved, not really wishing to watch them in the first place.

[Someone]

Interesting thread: Funny Question, seriously though

Originally Posted by Someone

So, what would happen if, say, I were to swallow a 2x2 clear plastic baggie with, say, a possibility of methamphetamines in it

Originally Posted by Someone

Interesting to read the OP's personal information.

Anyone with an active account at the Durp want to look at the OP's profile and tell us what it says?

ETA: NM, someone in the thread did it:

About spunoutsam
Biography
Im an asshole.
Location
Hell
Interests
girls, bitches by the truck ad, kicking ass, expert gyno master
Occupation
kickin puppies, shakin babies, and smackin bad bitches
Signature
SpUnOuTsAm

[Someone]

Just keep reading the thread.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...29&postcount=9

[Someone]

Amateur Barbarian

I designed our wedding bands, and mine has not been off my finger since the ceremony. (Unused to it, I almost slipped it off a month later while fiddling around, waiting for a light to change. Stopped in time.) I've had to have special accommodations for MRIs and such because of it - it does not come off for any reason. (It's a little grooved but lube and some effort would get it off.) It's something I am quietly proud of.

Which did not stop Mrs. B. from rashly accusing me of an affair a few years back, which set in motion a lot of corrosion that's led to my present situation, in which the ring will come off late this summer or early fall. I have to decide when. Maybe when I cross the Continental Divide or something equally symbolic.

So, rings are what you make them, as an individual, and not even the same thing to a spouse.

[Someone]

Oh, joy. I'm sure we can look forward to months of FEEL SORRY FOR ME, GODDAMN YOU posts out of A-Barb in every thread that has anything to do with being married.

If he wants symbolic, he can park his overloaded Honda somewhere in Kentucky, run into the local mini-mart, grab himself a tube of KY jelly, and tell the cashier all about how he needs to get his wedding ring off because his daughter and two dogs are waiting for him in the car.

[Someone]

KAL 007 conspiracy theory in free-verse form.

Originally Posted by Someone

My uncle was on that plane and I remember being at
My aunts house and the US state dept called and told
My aunt and our family that they had landed on an island
And everyone was safe. I will always belive that thats what
Happened and they put the bare minimum in the ocean
To make the world think it was shot down. Fishermen
In the area saw and reported that the plane landed. I
Think the plane was damaged but not destroyed. No
Bodies were ever found and hardly any luggage was found,
But a bunch of shoes were found tied together. I believe
The people were held for a while and then probably killed.
We will never know everything but it is not what we were
Officially told.