More eXCIting Snark to Durp

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I reported Siam Sam for being gross in the Boy Scouts Accept Girls thread (making a joke about eating a Brownie. hurrrrr) I think he moved back to the states from Bangkok and he's not seeing enough depravity anymore and needs his fix.

That's the sort of post you Pit a person over, not really the sort a person gets modded over.
It's a classic "I don't like what this person said", but not really breaking any rules post. At least that's my take on it, but it got modded anyway.

Sorry.

[Someone]

That’s fine. I report stuff and don’t really require it to result in a warning. But if a bunch of people report it, or if the same person gets reported for the same sort of thing over and over, I expect the mods to take action. That’s how I work things on the Facebook group I admin.

Same for the drop zone post I reported. I don’t think he deserves a warning for the posts in that thread but I want mods to take note that he’s starting to get harassy-y.

[Someone]

Do you ever hear Andy Rooney's voice in your head when you read one of aceplace's posts?

Originally Posted by Someone

There seems to be a design flaw in mechanical pencil sharpeners. Both wall mounted crank models and electric.

I can remember way back in elementary school. The wall mounted pencil sharpener left an uneven point. One side would still have wood and the other lead. Sometimes you were lucky to have 1/4" of a useable point.

One classic solution is to turn the pencil a quarter turn as you sharpen. Crank twice, turn, crank twice turn. That often helps, but the point still has more wood on one side.

Every students knows this frustration. It's followed me all the way through elementary school, junior high, high school, and college.
http://i.imgur.com/cQ90Uvw.jpg

You can shave it off with a pocket knife. Or keep one of these wedge sharpeners in your book bag. One turn and that wood is gone. You have a nice point that will write correctly.
https://www.amazon.com/Staedtler-Com.../dp/B00777UBFI

I have a $30 battery operated pencil sharpener I bought at Office Depot three years ago.

Does the same thing, Uneven points. I use it to do most of the sharpening. Then a quick twist with the wedge gives me a nice point.

Why can't they make a pencil sharpener that works and gives a even point? Fifty years and they still can't get the design fixed?

Even worse is when the sharpener cracks the lead. It falls out when you try to write.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=838841

[Someone]

Well, I'm not going to reveal how many reported that post, but Sam isn't a poster who is reported on often.
That's beside the point, though. It's not against the rules to make creepy jokes. IMO, that one was borderline. Personally, I wasn't gonna mod it, but I can see why another mod would have.



A lot of the time, though, people tend to report posts that make them upset or that they don't like or that they see as jerkish, but aren't really breaking any rules....we'll (or at least I will) usually send a message to those people suggesting to pit them if they really want to get stuff off their chest.

Anyway, the post was noted now..and I noted dropzone's, which was more over the line, yes.

[Someone]

New poster joins with a conspiracy theory on the Las Vegas shootings.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=838822

[Someone]

Do you ever hear Andy Rooney's voice in your head when you read one of aceplace's posts?

I hope he gets an answer (although lead not centered in the pencil might be it) because I just got a bunch of pencils and am having the same trouble.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New poster joins with a conspiracy theory on the Las Vegas shootings.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=838822

No traction, just ridicule. If Newbie brought Trump into the conspiracy, it could go on for days.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That’s fine. I report stuff and don’t really require it to result in a warning. But if a bunch of people report it, or if the same person gets reported for the same sort of thing over and over, I expect the mods to take action. That’s how I work things on the Facebook group I admin.

Same for the drop zone post I reported. I don’t think he deserves a warning for the posts in that thread but I want mods to take note that he’s starting to get harassy-y.

But we want people to post stupid things.

[Someone]

*picks up phone*

Hi, is this Black Lives Matter? Great. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but apparently you've lost the ideological support of a pudgy white dude who only dates the underaged and developmentally delayed and who spends his free time writing stories about sentient ponies fucking each other. I'm so sorry.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

*picks up phone*

Hi, is this Black Lives Matter? Great. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but apparently you've lost the ideological support of a pudgy white dude who only dates the underaged and developmentally delayed and who spends his free time writing stories about sentient ponies fucking each other. I'm so sorry.

Black Lives Matters "We're not."

[Someone]

Is it just me or is this n00b casting out a nicely disguised yet perfectly designed troll for the Durp? Or is the blind squirrel happy to have discovered a nut on the way to the john?

[Someone]

drad dog is upset with people using the obscene phrase 'pulled out of your ass'.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

*picks up phone*

Hi, is this Black Lives Matter? Great. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but apparently you've lost the ideological support of a pudgy white dude who only dates the underaged and developmentally delayed and who spends his free time writing stories about sentient ponies fucking each other. I'm so sorry.

Now that is some high quality snark.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Do you ever hear Andy Rooney's voice in your head when you read one of aceplace's posts?

Oh, yes. Acey's post immediately reminded me of Andy Rooney's bath soap rant. "This isn't soap—it's more like a thin cookie! And it has sharp edges. Soap should never be sharp!"

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

*picks up phone*

Hi, is this Black Lives Matter? Great. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but apparently you've lost the ideological support of a pudgy white dude who only dates the underaged and developmentally delayed and who spends his free time writing stories about sentient ponies fucking each other. I'm so sorry.

Black Hooves Matter!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

drad dog is upset with people using the obscene phrase 'pulled out of your ass'.

drad dog is a fucking ignorant tool. No one should be modded for telling him he's pulling things out of his ass.

[Someone]

Another new conspiracy whacko :

Who cares to debate the events of 9/11/2001 based upon the laws of physics?

Practically no one.

[Someone]

New Truther Troll!

ETA: Cochrane!!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Another new conspiracy whacko :

Who cares to debate the events of 9/11/2001 based upon the laws of physics?

Practically no one.

Originally Posted by Someone

New Truther Troll!

ETA: Cochrane!!!!

That thread is not going as planned.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

drad dog is a fucking ignorant tool. No one should be modded for telling him he's pulling things out of his ass.

I agree.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New Truther Troll!

ETA: Cochrane!!!!

He bumped a zombie in GQ to post his bullshit, too.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=289916

[Someone]

Stringbean pits his Myers-Briggs personality type.

This had the potential to be a good Stringbean pitting. Unfortunately septimus gets all sneery and condescending towards people who don't take the MBTI seriously, and the thread promptly goes off the rails.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Stringbean pits his Myers-Briggs personality type.

This had the potential to be a good Stringbean pitting. Unfortunately septimus gets all sneery and condescending towards people who don't take the MBTI seriously, and the thread promptly goes off the rails.

Pretty typical ENTP behavior.

[Someone]

Saint Cad asks if political jabs are against the rules in GD. John Mace misreads the OP and keeps citing the rules in GQ.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=838947

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Pretty typical ENTP behavior.

Don't even try to act like you didn't have to look that up.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Don't even try to act like you didn't have to look that up.

Of course I did. Us ISTJs rarely lie.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Us ISTJs rarely lie.

But when you do, it's a really massive whopper.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

But when you do, it's a really massive whopper.

That's what she said!
But then, I do tend to be more ESFP when it comes to sex.

[Someone]

Don't make me kill you, man.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Don't make me kill you, man.

Definitely ESTJ.

[Someone]

Football? That's for troglodytes. I'm much too busy/sophistcated to spend time watching sports.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Football? That's for troglodytes. I'm much too busy/sophistcated to spend time watching sports.

LongTimeLurker is still giving off a 'low-grade troll' vibe in post #4:

So your girlfriend likes to watch a team .... If she likes it and you don't, give her up.

That's a real good reason to break up!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Of course I did. Us ISTJs rarely lie.

I've never taken a Myers-Briggs test, but I did do one of those "Which Seinfeld Character Are You?" quizzes. Apparently I'm an Elaine.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've never taken a Myers-Briggs test, but I did do one of those "Which Seinfeld Character Are You?" quizzes. Apparently I'm an Elaine.

Eh. I forget which Myers-Briggs type I am. The weird introverted judgemental one.

I'm Slytherin House, if that helps. 🐍

[Someone]

I've taken it twice, and got a different result both times.

My sleep number is 40.

And I'm a Hufflepuff

[Someone]

I am 5 of 12, tertiary adjunct of unimatrix 4

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I am 5 of 12, tertiary adjunct of unimatrix 4

I am "Your Father, Luke!".


"Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!"

[Someone]

drad dog has been pitted. Too bad it's over his Tom Petty thread and not about his assholishness elsewhere.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=839025

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

drad dog has been pitted. Too bad it's over his Tom Petty thread and not about his assholishness elsewhere.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=839025

You gotta start with the petty stuff and work your way up.

[Someone]

I just did a supposed 'Myers-Briggs test'. The original wants me to pay 50 bucks. No, I don't think so. The free one gives me a 5-value result that looks rather like bullshit... Umm... I'm gonna go with the ETSY.com, just to be contrary.

I don't know what it means, but that 5-value says: INTP-a

I suspect it means "I Not Trying, Pulled it outta my Ass".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You gotta start with the petty stuff and work your way up.

::swaps out tiny scythe for tiny violin::

::kabongs coach::

::swaps out tiny violin for tiny scythe::

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

drad dog has been pitted. Too bad it's over his Tom Petty thread and not about his assholishness elsewhere.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=839025

drad's pitching a hissy because the thread title still says "fuck you" even though the OP acknowledged that that was a no-no a whopping hour and a half ago.

Clearly, Miller's only option is to edit the title to say "go fuck a cactus" to preserve the sentiment while staying lawful.

[Someone]

I was going to point out the same thing (because it's hilarious) and quoted drad dog's post so I could cut and paste it here, but every time I previewed the quote tags were all fucked up. "But I'm just cutting and pasting! What the hell is going wrong?"

Just rechecked and it's because drad dog fucked up in his post. There's a stray [/QUOTE] in there. Sumbitch tried to make me look like a damn fool.

[Someone]

Ooooo, and now he's digging in. I really, really hope he starts another ATMB thread.

[Someone]

what kind of jerk starts a "he's overrated" thread when he just died? and too young.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

what kind of jerk starts a "he's overrated" thread when he just died? and too young.

The kind that post on the Dope?

[Someone]

You can't say fuck you in the pit? WTF?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You can't say fuck you in the pit? WTF?

For eight years, now.

One of the reasons Giraffe resigned as the Pit mod.

[Someone]

The other reason was they stopped stocking Sanka in the staff breakroom.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You can't say fuck you in the pit? WTF?

You can't say "Hottentot" either.