127-We’ve all got a special fetish, Durper snarking don’t upset us, all we ask is that is that you let us snark it our way... - Page 3

Someone · #**101** 14th February 2020, 07:11 AM

Here.

And move over, because I guffawed loudly.

Someone · #**102** 14th February 2020, 07:34 AM

Is that what the women call it now?

Someone · #**103** 14th February 2020, 07:39 AM

Right, we all know I'm far too dainty and mannerly to say the word FART.

Someone · #**104** 14th February 2020, 09:07 AM

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Weak snark.

Almost missed this one.

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Airplanes fly by pushing down air. It's an F=ma type of thing.

Anyone care to guess who posted that? He's no genius.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...22&postcount=6

That thread is full of morons.

That is true, but on this one octopus is correct more or less (he probably meant to put in Newton’s 3rd, not 2nd law). It might well be one of his best posts ever, both in general and in the thread because unlike most other people in the thread, he hasn't nullified a correct statement with a pile of bullshit. Jasmine, on the other hand, does her usual BS.

Someone · #**105** 14th February 2020, 09:19 AM

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Skald has a new girlfriend? What happened to his implausibly perfect wife?

Yeah, I wondered the same thing. But Skald's in Acey territory now, where it's pointless to try to make sense of what he's said about his personal life.

Someone · #**106** 14th February 2020, 10:21 AM

Here lies madness, I mean Snarkbait:
A quick little English grammar lesson...

Someone · #**107** 14th February 2020, 11:35 AM

Hey Homie wants to know if it's OK to tell an eight year old he and his wife babysit what the bidet they have is for. Apparently his wife is freaking out and is favoring the "You must never ever touch the secret mystery device" which has someone pointing out that this makes the device the most fascinating thing in the house. People respond with common sense advice like "It's a bidet, not a sex toy" and "Why not ask the girl's parents what they think?"

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=889695

OK, so far kind of weak snark. Hey Homie admits he and his wife are being irrational. But then Filmore chimes in with

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As a parent, I do not want anyone other that me or my wife talking to my kids about bodily functions, intimate areas, or anything like that. I don't want to normalize having other adults talking about that stuff in any way for the kid. Kids won't know the difference between a helpful adult and a pedo trying to groom them. I want it to be a hard line that doesn't get crossed. That's just something I'm going to be super protective and proactive about because I don't want to take any chances.

What I might consider appropriate for the bidet is if the wife told the kid "It's called a bidet. You should ask your parents to explain what it is." And then the wife should tell the parents that their child asked about it. But to be honest, I probably would be worried and might consider using a different babysitter. Nothing against the OP, but I wouldn't want to have that doubt.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=15

I'm not a parent, so I'll defer to those of you who are, but isn't this a little nuts? Like really paranoid? Also is Filmore the one who keeps coming up with crazy ideas for new rules? He hasn't been on my radar before as a nutjob.

Someone · #**108** 14th February 2020, 11:48 AM

This is where we are as a society.

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Last night I purchased and installed a toilet-seat bidet attachment, for reasons that you don't need me to explain to you.

Mrs. Homie infrequently (4-5 times per month) babysits an 8 year old girl for an hour or so after school, or on days when there is no school.

She (Mrs. Homie) says that we should tell "Coraline" that the attachment is Never To Be Touched, Never To Be Asked About. With any luck, she'll lose interest and won't touch it or ask about it.

I say there's absolutely zero harm in telling Coraline exactly what will happen if the messes with it: that it will spray a blast a cold water at her butthole (a conversation that Mrs. Homie needs to have with her, not a conversation for me to have with her). I also say that turning the device into a Thing Of Mystery And Intrigue is just going to make her more interested in it.

What say you? Warn her not to touch it? Have Mrs. Homie explain to her what it is? Don't mention it at all and hope she doesn't take an interest?

I don't know which is more ridiculous, the woman who would say "Don't ask about it and don't touch it!!!!" about a freaking bidet, to a kid no less, or the guy whose explanation would include the word "butthole".

And then we get this from filmore:

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As a parent, I do not want anyone other that me or my wife talking to my kids about bodily functions, intimate areas, or anything like that. I don't want to normalize having other adults talking about that stuff in any way for the kid. Kids won't know the difference between a helpful adult and a pedo trying to groom them. I want it to be a hard line that doesn't get crossed. That's just something I'm going to be super protective and proactive about because I don't want to take any chances.

What I might consider appropriate for the bidet is if the wife told the kid "It's called a bidet. You should ask your parents to explain what it is." And then the wife should tell the parents that their child asked about it. But to be honest, I probably would be worried and might consider using a different babysitter. Nothing against the OP, but I wouldn't want to have that doubt.

Un-freaking-believable.

Someone · #**109** 14th February 2020, 11:50 AM

Sounds nuts to me.

And over in Cafe Society, Riemann is calling for no spoilers for Saving Private Ryan, a movie old enough to drive, vote, drink, and learn about bidets.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=16

Someone · #**110** 14th February 2020, 12:03 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

I'm not a parent, so I'll defer to those of you who are, but isn't this a little nuts? Like really paranoid?

I'm not a parent. But having seen a situation where an abuser was grooming an intended victim methodically and carefully over a period of years, no that's not too paranoid. Yes, this is a fucked up world we live in.

Someone · #**111** 14th February 2020, 12:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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I'm not a parent, so I'll defer to those of you who are, but isn't this a little nuts? Like really paranoid?

I'm not a parent. But having seen a situation where an abuser was grooming an intended victim methodically and carefully over a period of years, no that's not too paranoid. Yes, this is a fucked up world we live in.

Come on. Giving a child a quick explanation of what a toilet attachment does is not "grooming an intended victim methodically and carefully over a period of years." That's just nuts.

Someone · #**112** 14th February 2020, 12:11 PM

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I'm not a parent. But having seen a situation where an abuser was grooming an intended victim methodically and carefully over a period of years, no that's not too paranoid. Yes, this is a fucked up world we live in.

Come on. Giving a child a quick explanation of what a toilet attachment does is not "grooming an intended victim methodically and carefully over a period of years." That's just nuts.

Yeah but, if you're going to explain it to a child using words like "butthole", an already paranoid society might get suspicious.

Someone · #**113** 14th February 2020, 12:12 PM

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Come on. Giving a child a quick explanation of what a toilet attachment does is not "grooming an intended victim methodically and carefully over a period of years." That's just nuts.

Yeah but, if you're going to explain it to a child using words like "butthole", an already paranoid society might get suspicious.

I don't think he would actually use the word "butthole." In fact, he wanted his wife to give the explanation.

Someone · #**114** 14th February 2020, 12:38 PM

I don't know why they couldn't just tell the girl that it shoots water out on your bottom and please don't use it because it will make a mess. And/or tell the child's parents about it. But it's kind of crazy to not trust people to babysit your kid for the sole reason that they have a bidet and the kid was curious about it.

Someone · #**115** 14th February 2020, 02:25 PM

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That's just nuts.

Yes. Yes, it is. If you haven't seen it, you have no clue how nuts it is. Wait for years if necessary, set up situations with the sole purpose of painting the victim as a fibbing drama queen, push the thin edge of the wedge a little further in private, slink weasel lie & deny, no detail too small, no betrayal too low. The parents only get a snapshot of one incident, but you would need to see more of the pattern across time to put it together. It is definitely nuts. But unfortunately insanity is not always disorganized.

Someone · #**116** 14th February 2020, 02:28 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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That's just nuts.

Yes. Yes, it is. If you haven't seen it, you have no clue how nuts it is. Wait for years if necessary, set up situations with the sole purpose of painting the victim as a fibbing drama queen, push the thin edge of the wedge a little further in private, slink weasel lie & deny, no detail too small, no betrayal too low. The parents only get a snapshot of one incident, but you would need to see more of the pattern across time to put it together. It is definitely nuts. But unfortunately insanity is not always disorganized.

For fucks sake, what does any of this have to do with explaining what a bidet is?

Someone · #**117** 14th February 2020, 02:33 PM

i can’t bear to read the thread, - couldn’t you just say it’s to help with washing up after you use the toilet? Why do body parts even have to be mentioned?

Someone · #**118** 14th February 2020, 02:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

i can’t bear to read the thread, - couldn’t you just say it’s to help with washing up after you use the toilet? Why do body parts even have to be mentioned?

Most of the replies are sensible, other than Filmore. Even the OP realizes the situation is silly.

Someone · #**119** 14th February 2020, 02:41 PM

Just let Crocodile Dundee explain

Someone · #**120** 14th February 2020, 03:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

For fucks sake, what does any of this have to do with explaining what a bidet is?

All questions involving naughty bits are referred to the parents, no excuses no exceptions.
Let's just accept the fact that you are a certified clue-free zone and move on.

Someone · #**121** 14th February 2020, 03:28 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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For fucks sake, what does any of this have to do with explaining what a bidet is?

All questions involving naughty bits are referred to the parents, no excuses no exceptions.
Let's just accept the fact that you are a certified clue-free zone and move on.

You're a fucking nut job.

Someone · #**122** 14th February 2020, 03:31 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Hey Homie wants to know if it's OK to tell an eight year old he and his wife babysit what the bidet they have is for. Apparently his wife is freaking out and is favoring the "You must never ever touch the secret mystery device" which has someone pointing out that this makes the device the most fascinating thing in the house. People respond with common sense advice like "It's a bidet, not a sex toy" and "Why not ask the girl's parents what they think?"

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=889695

OK, so far kind of weak snark. Hey Homie admits he and his wife are being irrational. But then Filmore chimes in with

Quote:

As a parent, I do not want anyone other that me or my wife talking to my kids about bodily functions, intimate areas, or anything like that. I don't want to normalize having other adults talking about that stuff in any way for the kid. Kids won't know the difference between a helpful adult and a pedo trying to groom them. I want it to be a hard line that doesn't get crossed. That's just something I'm going to be super protective and proactive about because I don't want to take any chances.

What I might consider appropriate for the bidet is if the wife told the kid "It's called a bidet. You should ask your parents to explain what it is." And then the wife should tell the parents that their child asked about it. But to be honest, I probably would be worried and might consider using a different babysitter. Nothing against the OP, but I wouldn't want to have that doubt.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=15

I'm not a parent, so I'll defer to those of you who are, but isn't this a little nuts? Like really paranoid? Also is Filmore the one who keeps coming up with crazy ideas for new rules? He hasn't been on my radar before as a nutjob.

Yeah, like the Pit shouldn't show up on searchs, or be for anything other than things that go on IN the Pit, and noobs should have a certain number of posts before you can post in the Pit. Or if you protest a warning, and the mods don't back down, you get banned, or something like that. Dude's anal as all get out.

Someone · #**123** 14th February 2020, 03:34 PM

It shoots Klingons off Uranus with jets of water.

Someone · #**124** 14th February 2020, 05:36 PM

The worst thing that will happen is the kid will go to school and tell all her friends that "hehehehe...my babysitters have a buthole washer on their toilet." And then they'll spend the rest of the day giggling like hyenas.

Someone · #**125** 14th February 2020, 05:49 PM

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You're a fucking nut job.

Congratulations on your pleasant sheltered life.

Someone · #**126** 14th February 2020, 05:55 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

Hey Homie wants to know if it's OK to tell an eight year old he and his wife babysit what the bidet they have is for. Apparently his wife is freaking out and is favoring the "You must never ever touch the secret mystery device" which has someone pointing out that this makes the device the most fascinating thing in the house. People respond with common sense advice like "It's a bidet, not a sex toy" and "Why not ask the girl's parents what they think?"

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=889695

OK, so far kind of weak snark. Hey Homie admits he and his wife are being irrational. But then Filmore chimes in with

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=15

I'm not a parent, so I'll defer to those of you who are, but isn't this a little nuts? Like really paranoid? Also is Filmore the one who keeps coming up with crazy ideas for new rules? He hasn't been on my radar before as a nutjob.

Yeah, like the Pit shouldn't show up on searchs, or be for anything other than things that go on IN the Pit, and noobs should have a certain number of posts before you can post in the Pit. Or if you protest a warning, and the mods don't back down, you get banned, or something like that. Dude's anal as all get out.

Filmore's a dudette. Not that it really matters. She's still a dumbshit.

Someone · #**127** 14th February 2020, 05:55 PM

A rather vicious pitting of margin in progress. I'm not really interested in the backstory, but pool is proving itself to be a giant dickbag once again. Perhaps the worst part is it thinks it's clever and funny. On your list Alkie?

Someone · #**128** 14th February 2020, 06:22 PM

Man, Big Toe's wagging finger is really cracking the sound barrier in that thread:

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So, in your mind, obvious rhetorical hyperbole equals hatred? So then, when you equate what margin said with "the Left's version of Trump", you're also spewing hatred? Or is it just hatred if it's against your preferred candidate? You couldn't just say "Aren't you exaggerating a bit?" ...By your own logic, you are just as hateful as she is. Or do you claim you didn't use hyperbole? ...No, she's not right. But, thing is, when you compare her to Trump, you lose before you begin. It really might as well be considered Godwinning at this point.

Aaaand, that's a wrap.

B. Ekers gets in a good rabbit punch too:

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Why are you so fucking obsessed like a dick-seeking missile on Bernie when you could be concentrating on global warming, the real threat to America, you short-sighted shit-brained carbuncle of stupidity who should feel lucky to be favorably compared to a syphilitic wino's chronic case of impacted anal warts?

Just kidding. Go Warren.

Someone · #**129** 14th February 2020, 06:23 PM

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I'm not a parent, so I'll defer to those of you who are, but isn't this a little nuts? Like really paranoid? Also is Filmore the one who keeps coming up with crazy ideas for new rules? He hasn't been on my radar before as a nutjob.

I am a parent to two daughters under 8 (as I mentioned in that thread) and, yes, to me that seems a bit odd. As I said in that thread, it wouldn't even have occurred to me that there would be something untoward about explaining -- if a child asked -- what a bidet was for, and I would have no problem if an adult explained it to my children. I guess you can be euphemistic and vague about it, but it wouldn't bother me if someone told them it's a "tushie cleaner" or "butt washer" or something like that. Perhaps I'm just naive and clueless.

Someone · #**130** 14th February 2020, 06:30 PM

And may you have the good fortune to stay that way.

Someone · #**131** 15th February 2020, 01:03 AM

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You're a fucking nut job.

Congratulations on your pleasant sheltered life.

You don't fucking know me, you smarmy condescending asshole. Fuck you.

Someone · #**132** 15th February 2020, 01:28 AM

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I read that thread last night and was really getting a creep vibe from him. I missed all the fun about the threesome, however. Good call, ECG!!

ETA: How long until the ATMB protest thread?

ETA#2: A long and complicated banning/suspension of John Stamos Left Ear by JC:

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For repeatedly violating moderator instructions, poster John Stamos Left Ear is suspended for one week.

Warned and prohibited from the Iowa Caucus thread.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...&postcount=235

Returned to the thread during his prohibition. Banned from GD and PE for one month.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...&postcount=410

Returned to PE three days later:

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...&postcount=643

In addition, upon his return, he will still have to abide by his banishment from GD and PE until March 9, 2020.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=889970

John Stamos' Left Ear is a Wall of Fame level stupid motherfucker. He's also one of those pious assholes who thinks the Durp is Serious Internet Business! So he gets very cross if you disagree with him. This is funny, but also annoying. Plus, his username sucks shit.

Someone · #**133** 15th February 2020, 03:02 AM

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A rather vicious pitting of margin in progress. I'm not really interested in the backstory, but pool is proving itself to be a giant dickbag once again. Perhaps the worst part is it thinks it's clever and funny. On your list Alkie?

Oh man, she's over the top too. She keeps talking about Bernie Bros sucking dick (homophobic) and Sanders loving Noriega. As far as I can tell, Sanders is being criticized for opposing U.S. efforts to overthrow the Nicaraguan government in the 1980s which was not exactly a radical position. Ortega then was not Ortega now, more's the pity.

And I bet Noriega's mother didn't even like Noriega.

I flounced from the dope because of Shodan's treatment of her (how's the psych ward) but she seems like a very, very angry person.

Someone · #**134** 15th February 2020, 04:01 AM

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Yeah, like the Pit shouldn't show up on searchs, or be for anything other than things that go on IN the Pit, and noobs should have a certain number of posts before you can post in the Pit. Or if you protest a warning, and the mods don't back down, you get banned, or something like that. Dude's anal as all get out.

Filmore's a dudette. Not that it really matters. She's still a dumbshit.

Always had the impression that Filmore was a woman.

Someone · #**135** 15th February 2020, 06:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

A rather vicious pitting of margin in progress. I'm not really interested in the backstory, but pool is proving itself to be a giant dickbag once again. Perhaps the worst part is it thinks it's clever and funny. On your list Alkie?

Holy shit, pool is a sick asshole.

Someone · #**136** 15th February 2020, 06:18 AM

How about shoot a text to mom, ask hiw she wants it handled.

Someone · #**137** 15th February 2020, 06:26 AM

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A rather vicious pitting of margin in progress. I'm not really interested in the backstory, but pool is proving itself to be a giant dickbag once again. Perhaps the worst part is it thinks it's clever and funny. On your list Alkie?

Holy shit, pool is a sick asshole.

Agreed, we should send him some BK dinner coupons.

Someone · #**138** 15th February 2020, 06:49 AM

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Holy shit, pool is a sick asshole.

Agreed, we should send him some BK dinner coupons.

That shot over my head. Why Burger King?

Someone · #**139** 15th February 2020, 07:04 AM

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Congratulations on your pleasant sheltered life.

You don't fucking know me, you smarmy condescending asshole. Fuck you.

@Fenris, please tell these two to take it to the Pit.

Someone · #**140** 15th February 2020, 07:05 AM

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A rather vicious pitting of margin in progress. I'm not really interested in the backstory, but pool is proving itself to be a giant dickbag once again. Perhaps the worst part is it thinks it's clever and funny. On your list Alkie?

Holy shit, pool is a sick asshole.

Pee in pool.

Someone · #**141** 15th February 2020, 07:42 AM

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Agreed, we should send him some BK dinner coupons.

That shot over my head. Why Burger King?

Because, as assholes go, he's a Whopper. I know, bad but not bad enough for a kabonging.

Someone · #**142** 15th February 2020, 08:30 AM

I've had pool on ignore long enough I don't remember why. but I don't want to remember and wish folks would stop quoting his words.

and pretty sure it's bad enough for a kabonging!

Someone · #**143** 15th February 2020, 09:20 AM

Treppenwitz invites the Dope to show their collective ass.

So far it's just the usual assholes bragging about how parochial they are. But just wait.

Someone · #**144** 15th February 2020, 10:35 AM

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Treppenwitz invites the Dope to show their collective ass.

So far it's just the usual assholes bragging about how parochial they are. But just wait.

Dopers define themselves by what they don't like and what they won't do. It's like the psychosocial version of "negative space."

Someone · #**145** 15th February 2020, 11:56 AM

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You don't fucking know me, you smarmy condescending asshole. Fuck you.

@Fenris, please tell these two to take it to the Pit.

It's cool, I'm done. Got off shift, had my shifties, hung out at my bartenders place for a while, got home and saw that post, which annoyed me. I should have let it go, but I didn't.

Won't mention it again.

Someone · #**146** 15th February 2020, 12:22 PM

That thread pitting margin really is one of the worst I've ever seen. Don't like her views? Fine, and she should be held accountable for them. But the comments about her dead cat are sick. She's not being manipulative by throwing that out there, miller. She already has PTSD and those cats are her emotional support. I know how it is to lose that because I did, too. She's devastated, and that stuff comes out, often at the most inopportune times and places. I wish she'd get out of the Pit, but maybe fighting with morons is helping her release some of her emotion.

There's also some good ole woman-bashing going on under the surface. I'd never heard of pool or mr. duality. I'm glad I don't post in the forums they do. This sick underbelly is a liability, not an asset to the Derp. I thought miller wanted to change things in the Pit. Not allowing disgusting personal attacks like the cat comments is one way. Some people were able to address margin's political comments and still offer their condolences. That's how you do it.

Someone · #**147** 15th February 2020, 12:24 PM

Pool is a tool.

Someone · #**148** 15th February 2020, 12:39 PM

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I wish she'd get out of the Pit, but maybe fighting with morons is helping her release some of her emotion.

That thread is an example of the derp staff allowing people to intentionally hurt others. Milller really needs to decide if the rights of 2 douche bags supersede the rights of others. JC and his hair trigger, Miller and his superhuman patience, somewhere in the middle of those two approaches is a reasonable equilibrium. Or, just BAN Mr Douche and cessPool and be done with it.