Did I Miss Anythhing?

[Carolia]

Because a lot has happened around here.

[SmartAleq]

Hey there, girlfriend, how you doing? What's been going on with you?

[JimNightshade]

What has happened around here?
Except for the great flooping of course.
And the Fenrisrapture.

[Solfy]

No, but I've missed you!
How are you and The Girl doing?

[BJMoose]

The only thing that happens around here is the cows coming home to roost and play Yahtzee.

[fucktard loser]

Zebras

[hajario]

Hey!

[taters]

I wondered where you gone! Welcome back, we've missed you!

[C2H5OH]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

The only thing that happens around here is the cows coming home to roost and play Yahtzee.

Yeah, but given Fenris' big bets on those Yahtzee games, he took all our money and is probably living high-on-the-hog on some Caribbean island beach, drinking Piña Coladas and smoking Ganj. He's probably not even laughing at us. He's probably too high to even remember where he got the money. "Hey, put it on my tab" he says, and then someone shows up with another highball and a spleef. And then he stares into the sunset (blinding himself, of course), takes a drink and a toke, and tries desperately to remember us... "who in hell were they? why do i have so much money? oh, well, another gulp and a toke and it'll all go away..."

[Carolia]

It’s been a long, strange few years. The girl went off to college in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and it was a disaster. She didn’t do well with the mostly online classes. Most importantly, though, she starting having trouble studying, so she’d take another Adderall. And another. And another. She was hospitalized twice at the end of the year, and told us of their first suspicion: she had lost weight and her anxiety medication was giving her heart palpitations. She didn’t mention, though, that they quickly realized she was ODing on the Adderall. She finally came clean after several months of us trying to determine why the joy of our life had become so utterly miserable to live with that I would lock myself in my room. She owned up after a huge blow up.

The good part of that is once she admitted it, she threw herself into getting better. She went through a complete detox, which was rough. She has a new, non-stimulant medication that is finally at the right dosage for her. She’s even tutoring with me now, and it’s so much fun! I still don’t understand her science a math brain, but that’s okay. She took this year off, but is looking forward to finishing her degree.

The girl is also not quite the girl anymore. She has let us know she is gender neutral. I know, I’m still using female pronouns, but she hasn’t yet expressed a desire for us to change. If she doesn’t, I’ll work on it, but she knows how hard it will be for me to use a plural pronoun with a singular antecedent! She had an initial name picked, but she almost threw it at us out of spite. I also didn’t much like the name. Now that we’re having discussions about it, she’s taking that into consideration and carefully considering a new name. She even told me she’s considering keeping her first name as a middle name. I haven’t always dealt with all of this well (we’ve been dealing with this on and off for years), but she assures me I did a good job overall. She’s also educating me on LGBTQ+ terminology.

Mom is still hanging in there, although she hangs out on the floor way more often than she should. She’s as stubborn as ever!

Oh, and related to the girl, we joined a very small, very progressive Presbyterian Church where they love her exactly as she is. We’re all very happy there.

I’m not surprised about Fenris, though.

[JackieLikesVariety]

The good part of that is once she admitted it, she threw herself into getting better. She went through a complete detox, which was rough. She has a new, non-stimulant medication that is finally at the right dosage for her. She’s even tutoring with me now, and it’s so much fun! I still don’t understand her science a math brain, but that’s okay. She took this year off, but is looking forward to finishing her degree.

glad you are back!

[taters]

Wow, that's a lot of stuff, Carolia!

I'm glad things seem to be back on the rails and I am glad your girl is better!

[SmartAleq]

That IS a lot! I'm so happy to hear the UnGirl has seen the light regarding Adderall, that shit is just government sanctioned meth and it's hell on those who get addicted to it. The big danger is that when the addict gets cut off by the doctors because they're overusing the shit, someone usually tips them off to the local meth cooker and then they're snorting gods know what crap and if it gets really bad they start injecting it and that's when things get really horrible. Better to go the clean living and hard work route--it's harder at first but it doesn't age you five years for every one you live!

[Jaglavak]

Well look what the cat dragged in! Welcome back Carolia. Let's see. We had a mini Geeb fest in Portland this summer. Jackie moved to a new place, Monstera got a new knee, I managed to sprain myself falling off a bicycle but its all better now, Bumbershoot did a 3000 mile road trip and changed his name to Cyber Rock, taters went mushroom hunting, Pencil got a new car with all wheel drive and lots of hospurs, Wolf Larsen built a replica of a prehistoric computer and then stuck his entire house together with epoxy putty, and wups there's the phone gotta go!

[Solfy]

I’m glad you and your offspring have a relationship that makes her feel safe sharing all of this with you. That’s a real gift.

[Carolia]

Thanks, Taters!

Smartie, she took Adderall initially because it’s what I still take. We knew it worked on me, so it was the first thing to try for her. When she was using it correctly, it worked like a dream. She’s taking Wellbutrin now, and it will probably replace her other depression medication as well, but her doctor is just reducing it a little at a time to not send her system into yet another shock. She doesn’t even trust herself with that yet. I keep it in my room. She knows where it is, but the time she’s tempted to take more is at night, and she knows she couldn’t sneak past us! I check in with her every week to see if she wants a week’s worth, but not yet.

Jag, nice summary!

Solfy, I am eternally thankful for the relationship we have. We talked this morning, and they/them are their preferred pronouns. However, they said (gosh, this is weird even to type right now) they know I’m doing my best, and don’t expect me to change everything overnight. They even said that it’s weird, but they understand that I call them “Baby Girl” because that’s what I’ve always called them, not because I’m trying to force them back into being female, or out of spite (I really do try to just go with “Baby,” but it’s hard to change a lifelong habit). They appreciate that hubby and I try, so I guess that’s worth a lot to them.

They did also say they would be perfectly fine with ze/zey, which would fix the pronoun antecedent issue, if they didn’t have to explain it to everyone. That may be where my brain lands eventually, but we shall see. Oh! She’s also teaching me terminology, and about all the flags. It’s kind of fun to learn about it all!

ETA: I’ll skip my butt back over to the main thread now. I’ve missed y’all!

[JimNightshade]

Also, Miss Raffe got to travel a little bit.
Which was nice.

[Solfy]

Originally Posted by Carolia

Solfy, I am eternally thankful for the relationship we have. We talked this morning, and they/them are their preferred pronouns. However, they said (gosh, this is weird even to type right now) they know I’m doing my best, and don’t expect me to change everything overnight. They even said that it’s weird, but they understand that I call them “Baby Girl” because that’s what I’ve always called them, not because I’m trying to force them back into being female, or out of spite (I really do try to just go with “Baby,” but it’s hard to change a lifelong habit). They appreciate that hubby and I try, so I guess that’s worth a lot to them.

Some of the Solfyettes' friends use they/them. When it's a new friend they've made and introduced to me as they/them I find it fairly easy to remember. When it's someone I've been calling "she/her" for 11 years (like Eldest's BFF) it's more of a struggle to remember. I don't mean to be disrespectful, it's just habit. I can't imagine how hard it would be to remember for your own loved one, but like all things it gets easier with practice.

[BJMoose]

I've never understood why no one will use the neuter singular pronoun we already have: it.

[Jaglavak]

Try it sometime.

[BJMoose]

I have. People look at me weird. Weirder. Whatever.

[JimNightshade]

You need to wear sunglasses, like Miss Raffe.
People are persuaded by sexiness.

[C2H5OH]

Originally Posted by JimNightshade

You need to wear sunglasses, like Miss Raffe.
People are persuaded by sexiness.

[JimNightshade]

See!

Now check the pictures of Miss Raffe.

Freaky!