Durp Snark 166: Starting Fresh

[Someone]

Every time I start to like Czarcasm even a little bit, he reverts to type.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Pretentious? Moi?

Yeah, that line is just way too precious, but the nickname ain't cool, man.

[Someone]

Outstanding snark from Babale

We were always told the Jews left Egypt with Matzoh because they didn’t have time to let the dough in their bread rise before they had to leave Egypt. But maybe the real reason is that Matzoh was easier to carry, unlike bread, which we all know is impossible to transport to a secondary location.

[Someone]

Don’t trust a 70 year old man with lavender hair. And perhaps one who wears sunglasses indoors, depending on the reason. Legit medical reasons…ok? For “fashion”…um no?

In college, I was a virgin non-drinker/drug user. Sorority girl. Member of Campus Crusade for Christ. Dated church boys and military dudes. Never left my region.

Now? Explored most of the country. Butch lesbian with hoes in different area codes. Fucks alternative chicks. Recovering internet troll. Beer lover, occasionally dabbling into weed. Action-chasing gambler. Some of the action chasing is smart, some of it is really stupid.

Oh how far have I fallen!

[Someone]

Dallas Jones chides those criticizing Elon Musk for his (misogynistic and revolting) reported personal behavior:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...ues/1017186/11

I don't remember DJ being such a tool. Is my memory wrong?

[Someone]

Must be an Elmo fanboy. They all burst into tears whenever anyone dares question the gENiUs Of thE wOrLd!!11!!. Musk is human waster. His little breeding program is one of his lesser sins, by comparison.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh how far have I fallen!

Congrats!

[Someone]

Apparently Elon is not having sex with the babies mamas but using IVF. Wtf?

[Someone]

He's only offering 15 large. I think he'd have to raise his bid.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Apparently Elon is not having sex with the babies mamas but using IVF. Wtf?

He could maintain an erection if he'd stop looking at himself in the mirror.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, that line is just way too precious, but the nickname ain't cool, man.

Sorry. Long exposure to the Snackpit contaminated me.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, that line is just way too precious, but the nickname ain't cool, man.

I saw it as Jo-manna where manna was bread like. Had I realized it would have been a boxing but there’s since been an apology so let’s let it pass.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I saw it as Jo-manna where manna was bread like. Had I realized it would have been a boxing but there’s since been an apology so let’s let it pass.

Thank you. It was a dick move.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Apparently Elon is not having sex with the babies mamas but using IVF. Wtf?

Botched penis enlargement surgery is the favorite Reddit hypothesis.

[Someone]

In my headcannon, it's THE reason.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I saw it as Jo-manna where manna was bread like. Had I realized it would have been a boxing but there’s since been an apology so let’s let it pass.

I saw it the same way, initially, but then I realized the Snarkpit bit. I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but his apology revealed that, no, that was how he meant it.

[Someone]

I'm very dense. I read it as a tongue-in-cheek slightly odd way of saying "yo mamma." (Which since she recently lost her daughter might not be so great a name either.)

It's been too long since the Snackpit, I've lost my edge. Not that I ever personally engaged in any pointless cruelty there. All my cruelty had a point.

[Someone]

Sent you a PM.

[Someone]

What's all this sweet reasonableness?!?? Mal was supposed to double down, Ratty was supposed to heap up the red hot hate, and Hodge was supposed to scatter arbitrary boxings in all directions. Did nobody read the script?

OK, take five and then we'll try it again from the top.

[Someone]

I do have an observation regarding Haj vs Giraffe…

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Don’t trust a 70 year old man with lavender hair. And perhaps one who wears sunglasses indoors, depending on the reason. Legit medical reasons…ok? For “fashion”…um no?

In college, I was a virgin non-drinker/drug user. Sorority girl. Member of Campus Crusade for Christ. Dated church boys and military dudes. Never left my region.

Now? Explored most of the country. Butch lesbian with hoes in different area codes. Fucks alternative chicks. Recovering internet troll. Beer lover, occasionally dabbling into weed. Action-chasing gambler. Some of the action chasing is smart, some of it is really stupid.

Oh how far have I fallen!

You sound like you'd be an absolute *gas* to hang out and get a little loaded with sometime. I *am* a 66 year old guy with dyed red hair who often wears shades indoors, though, and sometimes at night.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In college, I was a virgin non-drinker/drug user. Sorority girl. Member of Campus Crusade for Christ. Dated church boys and military dudes. Never left my region.

Now? Explored most of the country. Butch lesbian with hoes in different area codes. Fucks alternative chicks. Recovering internet troll. Beer lover, occasionally dabbling into weed. Action-chasing gambler. Some of the action chasing is smart, some of it is really stupid.

Oh how far have I fallen!

You went to a very different college than me. It wasn't possible to be sober and be in a sorority at my school.

I married the guy who was a junior leader for Campus Crusade for Christ. We both recovered.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Mal was supposed to double down,

That wouldn't be very well bred of me, now would it?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I do have an observation regarding Haj vs Giraffe…

Haj, being an owl, can hang out on branches even a Giraffe can't reach?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In my headcannon, it's THE reason.

Beware of headcannons. The whiplash is something fierce.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

(Which since she recently lost her daughter might not be so great a name either.)
.

As egregious as I am, I am nonetheless genuinely sorry to hear this.

[Someone]

I somehow missed that too. What a horrible thing.

I really enjoy her as a poster in general.

[Someone]

It would be easy to miss. She did start a thread about it (car crash, other driver's fault, the other driver also killed) and it came up in the "What were you thinking" thread when I gently pointed out that FFS people should read all of the OP's posts in a thread like before they start asking questions about what happened (in this case, "what happened to the other driver?"). A few generally great posters had done this. Johanna did pop into the WWYT thread to comment briefly.

Other than that, I don't believe she has referred to the loss of her daughter at all. So if you didn't catch it in either of those two threads, you wouldn't know.

[Someone]

Ai Ai yi.

Dopers are such party poopers.

Or, mayhaps, it's just me? Hmmm

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ai Ai yi.



Dopers are such party poopers.



Or, mayhaps, it's just me? Hmmm

What?

[Someone]

Don’t you mean "hey"?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Action-chasing gambler. Some of the action chasing is smart, some of it is really stupid.

My game is craps. My all-time best trip is up $1600, my second-best trip broke even. What's your game(s)?

Historical note: The casino where I won that $1600 has since gone broke. I deny responsibility, as any decent casino is going to see several low-four-figure winners every week, and several low-four-figure losers every DAY. It takes a certain point-and-laugh-at-the-loser-worthy incompetence to bankrupt a casino in a major gambling city.

[Someone]

The gentleman doth protest too much methinks.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The gentleman doth protest too much methinks.

Wanna bet?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Wanna bet?

I'll take double odds on the pass line.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Don’t you mean "hey"?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'll take double odds on the pass line.

I was set to come here and wag my finger [tsk tsk ] at your vice but I realized I grew up participating in church bingo scams operations.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I was set to come here and wag my finger [tsk tsk ] at your vice but I realized I grew up participating in church bingo scams operations.

I do not actually engage in betting, I just make bad jokes.
It's up to you which is worse.

[Someone]

I'm one of those annoying spectators with a free casino drink in my hand, who stand around and watch the high rollers.

[Someone]

Free casino drink. LoL.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Haj, being an owl, can hang out on branches even a Giraffe can't reach?

Giraffe’s bark is bigger than his bite. Haj’s bite is bigger than his bark. The former will throw more snark at you, but would be more lenient when it comes boxings and bannings. The latter won’t say much but might box you for three months or just insta ban you.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Free casino drink. LoL.

If you looooove soft drinks with extra high fructose corn syrup, or stale coffee. Unlimited!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm one of those annoying spectators with a free casino drink in my hand, who stand around and watch the high rollers.

Same. Unless they tell me to fuck off. And, there are weirdos at the casino who doesn’t like spectators. I’m like, there’s online gambling…

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Free casino drink. LoL.

it's been awhile since I lived in Nevada but the drinks were technically free, although what kind of asshole doesn't tip. So I thought of them as $1 drinks.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You went to a very different college than me. It wasn't possible to be sober and be in a sorority at my school.

I married the guy who was a junior leader for Campus Crusade for Christ. We both recovered.

Yeah, it was tough. Constant peer pressure to drink. But as a CCC girl, I feared going to hell or at least ruining my relationship with God by engaging in “drunkenness”. Even with that aside, I associated alcohol with blackouts, puking, and sleeping with people who you would not sleep with while sober. Just a complete lack of control.

I eventually caved in when I joined a coed fraternity, later on in my academic career. By then I had lost my religion and have been exposed to the more temperate form of social drinking. And smelling SO MUCH beer at parties and bars. At first I hated the smell, then it grew on me, and then I started craving the taste!

Well, it could’ve been worse with you two. At least on my campus, there was an overlap in student membership between the CCfC and the College Republicans.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

My game is craps. My all-time best trip is up $1600, my second-best trip broke even. What's your game(s)?

Historical note: The casino where I won that $1600 has since gone broke. I deny responsibility, as any decent casino is going to see several low-four-figure winners every week, and several low-four-figure losers every DAY. It takes a certain point-and-laugh-at-the-loser-worthy incompetence to bankrupt a casino in a major gambling city.

My games are the games I have much higher odds of winning. Texas hold’em. I’m competing against other customers, and not the fucking casino. I like must-hit-by progressive slot machines. If the jackpot is must-hit-by $50, you bet I would hop on when the meter strikes $48. Then there’s “building” membership cards, that’s a whole ‘nother ball game that would take pages of text to explain.

To be honest, craps would be the very last game I would play. It’s very rigged. Unlike some games, there’s no loophole to soften the riggedness. Look closer at the walls in crap tables. You’ll see pyramid-shaped projections. You could have perfect dice control and still lose. Those little projections will throw your dice off course. Now, I heard that’s a relatively new thing and back in the day you could win a lot of money by practicing superior dice control. That would’ve been interesting!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

it's been awhile since I lived in Nevada but the drinks were technically free, although what kind of asshole doesn't tip. So I thought of them as $1 drinks.

My neighbor invited me to join him visiting the new casino in Vancouver (). It's a nice, clean place. While there we had a few drinks, and when I tipped the cocktail waitress he loudly stated, "They're free! Why are you paying for them?" When I explained it was a tip, he doubled downed, again as loud. "But they're FREE!"

It's always a shock when you discover an asshole is someone you like and admire.

[Someone]

Yep. Down in Florida the drinks are rarely free except for water and I'm not sure about coffee or tea, since I never indulged in them at casinos, but I still tipped $1 for water.

[Someone]

Coffee, tea, soda, and water are free in nearly all casinos. They were free in Florida as of 2020 when I last visited.

I have never been to a casino that handed out free alcoholic beverages. I guess that was before my time.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Coffee, tea, soda, and water are free in nearly all casinos. They were free in Florida as of 2020 when I last visited.

I have never been to a casino that handed out free alcoholic beverages. I guess that was before my time.

Back when The Stardust was the place to be in Vegas, alcoholic drinks were free if you were gambling. This was when the mob was running the casinos and they were arguably a better experience for the visitors than they are today. It is Howard Hughes fault that the mob lost control, because he ran a casino and honestly told the IRS how much they made. The government knew that the mob was skimming, but they didn't realize how big the skim was. After that the rules got tighter and the casinos got less generous with the spiffs.