Vasectomy

[backyard]

Originally Posted by hajario

WTF is the matter with you people? Do I not have enough to worry about?

If the semen is still live, it means that recanalization has occurred and the tubes managed to find a way to reattach themselves and I have to do it again which is extremely unlikely to happen.

I just talked to a friend who said she got pregnant (yes, by her husband) after he had a vasectomy. He had to get another one. But I'm sure yours is fine.

:ducking out of the way while haj throws a heavy object at backyard's head:

[Carolia]

Hubby let me know he was officially sterile by telling me that he was now shooting blanks. He's easily amused.

[Salambo]

Wood! We will call you Tangerine Man: all juice, no seed.

[Jeff]

I thought Plan B involved neuticles.

[hajario]

BOO-YAH! Good as new.

[Mr. Buttons]

Originally Posted by hajario

BOO-YAH! Good as new.

Damn you, I've nothing to fear of STDs (monogamous) and you're making me really wanna get a vasectomy with your easy sail-through... I just want 1 kid, after that snip it. You've been like a constant reminder how easy it is for the past 2 months!

If I give up @ 35 and snip, I blame you now.
I'm not raising a kid to 18 when I'm 53 no natter what. Teenagers are horrible, I know because I was one.

[Peeking Duck]

Originally Posted by hajario

WTF is the matter with you people? Do I not have enough to worry about?

If the semen is still live, it means that recanalization has occurred and the tubes managed to find a way to reattach themselves and I have to do it again which is extremely unlikely to happen.

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

I thought only tom cats could do that. So if it does happen, you'll have documented medical evidence that you are in fact hornier than a three balled tom cat.

I don't know enough about these things to explain how they happen, but I became pregnant nearly twenty years ago after having my tubes "tied" (cauterized). And I'm not a tom cat! (For the record, my pregnancy was ectopic, and was terminated.)

Also, just over twenty years ago (and therefore for absolutely different reasons) me and my ex were several times amused by studying post-coital semen under the cheapest microscope that money could buy. And you know what? That cheap, cheap microscope showed swimmers just as plain as day! And those swimmers really did WRIGGLE very spectacularly! I'm very glad I got to see that, and I'd recommend it to anybody.

[hajario]

Originally Posted by Peeking Duck

Also, just over twenty years ago (and therefore for absolutely different reasons) me and my ex were several times amused by studying post-coital semen under the cheapest microscope that money could buy. And you know what? That cheap, cheap microscope showed swimmers just as plain as day! And those swimmers really did WRIGGLE very spectacularly! I'm very glad I got to see that, and I'd recommend it to anybody.

Now you tell me.

[Peeking Duck]

Aw; sorry, Sweetie!

(Tipsy Peeking Duck hopes you don't mind being called Sweetie.)

But let's hear it for being sperm/egg-reaching-the-uterus free!

[Peeking Duck]

P.S. The reason I'm egg-reaching-the-uterus free is, foremost, because after my ectopic pregnancy, both of my tubes were removed. And... also? I haven't menstruated for seven months, and I think I'm very, very close to officially being past menopause. (I might start my own thread about that, when it's official, because this menopausal journey has been almost symptom free -- er, minus the interuption of menses, that is. And I think it might be nice to share that fact, much like you've been admirably sharing your own reproductive news. Oh my god; I am sooo drunk, and I sooo need to shut the fuck up now.)

[Euryphaessa]

You have interesting hobbies, Duck.

[Dragonlady]

Originally Posted by Peeking Duck

P.S. The reason I'm egg-reaching-the-uterus free is, foremost, because after my ectopic pregnancy, both of my tubes were removed. And... also? I haven't menstruated for seven months, and I think I'm very, very close to officially being past menopause. (I might start my own thread about that, when it's official, because this menopausal journey has been almost symptom free -- er, minus the interuption of menses, that is. And I think it might be nice to share that fact, much like you've been admirably sharing your own reproductive news. Oh my god; I am sooo drunk, and I sooo need to shut the fuck up now.)

I hope you're right Ducky Darling, but I can't tell you how many times I've gone 7 or 8 or 9 months, only to..not be done yet.

[Peeking Duck]

Originally Posted by Dragonlady

I hope you're right Ducky Darling, but I can't tell you how many times I've gone 7 or 8 or 9 months, only to..not be done yet.

Aw, gee. Thanks for the warning, though, Sweet Pea.

[Argyle Sock]

So Haj, has your dick started to fall off, like I predicted? It's been over a week.

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by hajario

BOO-YAH! Good as new.

In all seriousness, thanks for starting this thread; I hope it will allay the fears of others.

[hajario]

Update:

Recall that the first sample was supposed to be after twenty ejaculations and a month. It took me like three months to get around to submitting the sample and it was all clear. Since I waited so long and I was clear, I almost didn't bother with the second sample.

Last week, I took a day off of work and, having nothing better to do before my evening plans, submitted a second sample. Guess what? There were swimmers. What the fucking fuck? After all of this time and the first sample being clear. Now I have to do another sample after ten more ejacs.

I am not pleased at all.

[SmartAleq]

Beat it like it owes you money--that'll larn it!

[mothedrine]

We can't heal our own spinal cord injuries or grow another digit if we lose one, but try to cut the vas deferens and mother nature gets all kinds of pissed off.

Well, either that, or you have ninja sperm.

[SmartAleq]

Maybe he caught them off a toilet seat--that's what I told my mom when I got hijacked by sperm.

[Wolf Larsen]

Originally Posted by hajario

Now I have to do another sample after ten more ejacs.

So that's like two days.

[SmartAleq]

Anybody want to start the betting pool? Day and hour, or should we try for the minute as well?

[Chacoguy]

I'll bet he's already done.

[SmartAleq]

I dunno, man, three months for the first go-round... *tsk tsk*

[eleanorigby]

Originally Posted by hajario

Update:

Recall that the first sample was supposed to be after twenty ejaculations and a month. It took me like three months to get around to submitting the sample and it was all clear. Since I waited so long and I was clear, I almost didn't bother with the second sample.

Last week, I took a day off of work and, having nothing better to do before my evening plans, submitted a second sample. Guess what? There were swimmers. What the fucking fuck? After all of this time and the first sample being clear. Now I have to do another sample after ten more ejacs.

I am not pleased at all.

OMG--You ARE Chuck Norris!

[Argyle Sock]

Well, I was wrong. His dick didn't fall off.

[Lady of the Cement Pond]

You know what I was doing while I read this? Sitting on the couch yelling to my post-vasectomy* baby (no baby anymore) to make sure the shampoo gets to his head this time. whoops. Good luck man.

* Given the things I learned later it is a possibility he is not actually a post-v baby. Truthiness was never a string point of my ex.

[hajario]

I just got off the phone with the urologist. He explained that an intact man will have 15 - 40 million motile sperm per some unit volume.

My first sample was clear. My second sample had like 20 (not 20 million, just 20) non-motile sperm. He said that that was pretty odd but I almost certainly can't knock someone up with those numbers but he wants one more sample just to be sure. He didn't look at the sample himself but he said that white blood cells can be mistaken for non-motile sperm.

I feel much better now.