Durp Snark H8

[Someone]

Terse is always best.

[Someone]

Whee, I win!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Whee, I win!

Moderator's pet!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Moderator's pet!

:: pets SmartAleq ::

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Whee, I win!

There's only one chance to use an eight/hate pun. Next time, though ...

Durp Snack 9: We Have Much To Learn From Them.

Indeed. Such wisdom can be found here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

There's only one chance to use an eight/hate pun. Next time, though ...

Durp Snack 9: We Have Much To Learn From Them.

Indeed. Such wisdom can be found here.

You're attempting to influence the modes prematurely! I call shenanigans!

Shenanigans!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You're attempting to influence the modes prematurely! I call shenanigans!

Shenanigans!

Don't worry, its such a shitty overused snackpit tagline no one wants it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Terse is always best.

Who's she?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Who's she?

UR MOM

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

UR MOM

My mother? Let me tell you about my mother!

[Leon shoots Holden with a gun he had pulled out under the table]

[Someone]

Not first!

[Someone]

Second not first!

[Someone]

"She's deferring a root canal now to pay for the abortion. Man, she does not know when to frigging stop."

Can't you just keep drilling till the kicking stops?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"She's deferring a root canal now to pay for the abortion. Man, she does not know when to frigging stop."

Can't you just keep drilling till the kicking stops?

Drilling where? The mouth or the abdomen?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"She's deferring a root canal now to pay for the abortion. Man, she does not know when to frigging stop."

Yet more thinly veiled "give me money, dammit" begging. Too bad the Pitting of her was so anemic.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yet more thinly veiled "give me money, dammit" begging. Too bad the Pitting of her was so anemic.

And it won't even be original because Stoid put together a website to beg for money for a dental procedure a couple years ago.

I'm super-extra tempted to pop back into that thread and say, "That's ok, you can pay for both with your sweet $4000 tax refund!"

[Someone]

Get a big enuff drill bit and you can do both.

[Someone]

You know, I'm sincerely disappointed in 2012's Rape Month. 2010 and 2011 were stellar installments. 2012 is just... rapeless.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

2012 is just... rapeless.

The year's not over yet.

[Someone]

I swear to god I'm gonna pistol whip the next person who says "Shenanigans"!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I swear to god I'm gonna pistol whip the next person who says "Shenanigans"!

Long ago I worked at a place with that name. Crappy job, run by crappy management and served crappy food. Let that name never cross my lips again.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Long ago I worked at a place with that name. Crappy job, run by crappy management and served crappy food. Let that name never cross my lips again.

"At Shenanigans, you can shenan, again! "

[Someone]

Not snarking this time, sincerely curious but don't want to threadshit over there:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=641481
Quasi is going to go to engineering school? I'm assuming he knows that you can't just be an 'engineer', but actually have to have a discipline? With his mental faculty issues, at least as expressed on the board and the glimpses he's given us, I don't know how he could cut it.
Have I missed something and he's gotten better, or is he talking about something else totally?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not snarking this time, sincerely curious but don't want to threadshit over there:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=641481
Quasi is going to go to engineering school? I'm assuming he knows that you can't just be an 'engineer', but actually have to have a discipline? With his mental faculty issues, at least as expressed on the board and the glimpses he's given us, I don't know how he could cut it.
Have I missed something and he's gotten better, or is he talking about something else totally?

That's Quasimodal - are you thinking of Quasimodem, or is there some mental thing about modal that I don't know?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That's Quasimodal - are you thinking of Quasimodem, or is there some mental thing about modal that I don't know?

Ah, thank you. I always get those two mixed up. The "am I crazy" and "angsty years of confusion" didn't help my reading comprehension any. I see "quasimod" and "crazy" or "confusion" and I figure it's 'em' not 'al'.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ah, thank you. I always get those two mixed up. The "am I crazy" and "angsty years of confusion" didn't help my reading comprehension any. I see "quasimod" and "crazy" or "confusion" and I figure it's 'em' not 'al'.

I remember which is which by thinking "Quasimodementia".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I remember which is which by thinking "Quasimodementia".

I love you SO much!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm just going to leave this here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm just going to leave this here.

Goddammit you very nearly broke my fucking phone.

That site has the professinalism of an Opal Web Design.

[Someone]

Good tip, I'll try to remember that.

[Someone]

Which one of you magnificent bastards is markm?

Originally Posted by Someone

Thankfully, you have that $4,000 tax refund coming. That should go a long way with paying for the abortion and still let you get the root canal.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I will send you $50 TODAY if you do that.

I will send you Chlamydia.

Originally Posted by Someone

Which one of you magnificent bastards is markm?

Lol, thought it was you, then I remembered you use the same name here and there.
It's impressive how insular the Dope is, I mean even for an internet board. The "I'm gonna believe every fucking word/version of a story another Doper rambles about because...he/she is another Doper!".

Who wanna bet CP never ever adresses the 4000 dollars thing (though she tends to let those kind of pertinent points slide by and come back to them way later on with a dismissive explanation, usually. I figure it's the time it takes her to try cooking up an explanation, even though she will have posted abundantly between the question and the long awaited explanation).

[Someone]

BTW, isnt there a fucking rule on the Dope about posting bullshit stories? I'd understand if they'd let a little bit of it going on, they cant check everything. But a poster that constantly posts far fetched stories? Wasnt Fried Dough Ho banned exactly for that?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BTW, isnt there a fucking rule on the Dope about posting bullshit stories? I'd understand if they'd let a little bit of it going on, they cant check everything. But a poster that constantly posts far fetched stories? Wasnt Fried Dough Ho banned exactly for that?

I think the rule (vague as it is) is this: If the story (bullshit or not) is meant to entertain, give the reader a laugh, etc, it's ok*. If the story is meant to gain sympathy/money, make you a hero ("I rescued a man from a burning building"), or just gain you credibility/noteriety ("I was a fat middle-aged, hairy white guy married to a hawt Japanese Philipino Korean! chick but now I got the full sex-change treatment and my hawt Japanese Philipino Korean! wife just HAPPENS to be bi and loves having a lesbian relationship with me so I'm LIVING THE DREAM and can lecture people about gender and sexuality!") you get banned when caught.


*Most of Scylla's better stuff, for example.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think the rule (vague as it is) is this: If the story (bullshit or not) is meant to entertain, give the reader a laugh, etc, it's ok. If the story is meant to gain sympathy/money, you get banned when caught.

Then, what the fuck are they waiting for here? I find it weird that I havent noticed even one Mod posting in her bullshit threads, I mean posting as a regular poster. Makes me think they're considering banning her and dont want to look, after the banning, like they might have been enablers.
I really dont understand.
Especially since CP has already been banned or suspended*. Should be easy.

And if they dont want to go frontal, they just have to lock/close her fake baby or money scam threads with little explanation. They do it all the fucking time, and CP would get the message: you can stay at the Dope but post anymore BS stories and you're out.


*since she was chain-ganged with Dio at one point, would be funny if she took refuge here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BTW, isnt there a fucking rule on the Dope about posting bullshit stories? I'd understand if they'd let a little bit of it going on, they cant check everything. But a poster that constantly posts far fetched stories? Wasnt Fried Dough Ho banned exactly for that?

Yes there is. But of course, the dopers fall for every single one of them, no matter how dramatic. (I admit, I've done so a few times -- like with Kaitlyn).

Any one who acts skeptical is basically chewed alive. I remember when I expressed doubt about a supposed Navy SEAL who was recovering from cancer surgery who was able to catch huge fish and slice open his hand to the bone, but gotten beaten up by a neighbor or something, and the police wouldn't press charges. Or something like that. And people went apeshit. *shrugs*

People like a good dramatic story, I guess.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yes there is. But of course, the dopers fall for every single one of them, no matter how dramatic. (I admit, I've done so a few times -- like with Kaitlyn).

Any one who acts skeptical is basically chewed alive. I remember when I expressed doubt about a supposed Navy SEAL who was recovering from cancer surgery who was able to catch huge fish and slice open his hand to the bone, but gotten beaten up by a neighbor or something, and the police wouldn't press charges. Or something like that. And people went apeshit. *shrugs*

People like a good dramatic story, I guess.

Yeah Guin, you've brought this up several times as proof of your troll-spotting skills, and I gotta say, it's kinda BS. The guy's story wasn't THAT far-fetched yet, and you stomped in there and acted like a cunt and ran him off.

He wasn't like Kaitlyn, who'd been yanking the board along for months/years. The guy was on the boards for a total of 5 days. You could have let it play out a little longer if you were really just skeptical - but that would have involved not posting for 10 minutes.

I'm just so tired of seeing you bring this up as though him leaving was proof that he was full of shit. He may well have been - but he also may not have wanted to participate in a board that jumps on newbies and calls them liars.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Who wanna bet CP never ever adresses the 4000 dollars thing (though she tends to let those kind of pertinent points slide by and come back to them way later on with a dismissive explanation, usually. I figure it's the time it takes her to try cooking up an explanation, even though she will have posted abundantly between the question and the long awaited explanation).

That's a sucker bet even her agoraphobic ectopic baby daddy wouldn't even touch, and he's a dude that does diseased hookers without protection.

But if you have questions, she'll gladly answer them truthily in PMs because apparently there's some sort of mystic force that prevents her from lying in a PM.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm just going to leave this here.

The sad part is that there is $415 worth of naive out there.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The sad part is that there is $415 worth of naive out there.

I dunno, the Busey Morlocks on that page were all kinds of awesome.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Terse is always best.

Yes.

[Someone]

Did anyone have "Asshole Ex asks for paternity test?" How about "Asshole Ex doubts presence of fetus?" We have two more winners.

[Someone]

Oh hey, you wanna make Stoid's site look REALLY scary? Run it through Geocitiesizer!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh hey, you wanna make Stoid's site look REALLY scary? Run it through Geocitiesizer!

I tried. The site rejected it.

Now when I try accessing I get a 404.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh hey, you wanna make Stoid's site look REALLY scary? Run it through Geocitiesizer!

And now you need to donate money for my anti-seizure treatments. Plus I think you actually damaged my aesthetic sense.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Did anyone have "Asshole Ex asks for paternity test?" How about "Asshole Ex doubts presence of fetus?" We have two more winners.

Ok, ok, ok.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...&postcount=232

but no bed for my son thanks to a shady car dealership that just bait and switched me for $500 today

Goes without saying. Anything else wouldnt be colourful enough.

Since he makes so much money under the table (professional accountant turned poker player re: mental illness), he's liable for like $300-$400 a month even though he goes skiing every weekend and eats out every day and can put new tires on his Jeep and etc

That's one nice outgoing agoraphobic, if I may. I understand that agoraphobia can mean either phobic of the outside or of crowds, but since he already plays in casinos, the "crowdophobia" is kind of out. Apparently the fear of the outside is out as well every week-end.

Frankly, I'd be tempted to go back to the Dope just to clean her clock. But that would be petty. And I am grand.

[Someone]

Some of CPITA's latest posts have me confused. I thought she said she was aborting but is saying stuff like

He said to "call him in 9 months for paternity testing". Oh, yeah, right. Like I have a history of sleeping around and neglecting to mention it!

says dbag after some consideration when i told him the court has provisions for people like him
I will need evidence every step of the way, including proof that it's a viable fetus. If that doesn't work, then no deal.

If you want to have the baby, you should have it. After everything that's happened, I don't think I can be involved. But I won't be a deadbeat dad, I'll pay the court mandated child support.

So is she keeping it or not and did I miss something or did the ectopic thing go away?

[Someone]

It's clearly not ectopic, or she would have been hospitalized by now.

She'll waffle around back and forth about it, claiming that she wants an abortion but then claim she's becoming attached to it. Then, she'll have a mid-second-trimester miscarriage that costs her more money, resulting in more Dopers sending her more care packages and more money.

All while maintaining an on-again/off-again contact with EBD.

and she's already hand-waved away the $4000 tax refund. And claimed poverty AGAIN.

[Someone]

Something just occurred to me, is there even such a thing as a part time elementary school level teacher? My dad was an elementary school principal from the time I was born up until a few years ago and I can remember teachers, teacher's assistants and a few other positions like a computer lab person or speech therapist. But I don't remember anyone at either of the 2 schools he worked at being a strictly part time teacher. How does that even work at that level?

[Someone]

The school at which she teaches is an alternative school. It's middle school and above. It's for students who've either been thrown out of other schools, or for some other reason prefer or need a different educational placement. In that setting, part-time para-professionals are pretty common.

And yes, that means that she, as fucked-up as she is, is working with the most vulnerable children, the ones who need the best interventions and training. As I've said before, that makes me incredibly sad for those children.