Do you like your parents?

[hilarity n. suze]

Just wondering. I did not like my parent, and wasn't that wild about most of my family, as soon as I got out of school I moved 1000 miles away, and went home to see them only out of a sense of duty. In reality I would have preferred staying home or going anywhere else. It just wasn't fun. It was a complete drag, in fact, and I would get depressed thinking about it.

It has occurred to me that possibly my kids come visit me out of a sense of duty, or invite me over for the same reason. I hope not; if that's the case, I'd really like to discourage it. But it's very very hard for me to imagine going to see your parents, once you've moved out, for any other reason than a sense of duty. I mean, it's not like I have money to leave them if they're nice to me. But I have no idea how to suggest this to them without it sounding like I don't want to see THEM.

[jasper kent]

I liked my stepdad, but I didn't love him.
I love my mom, but I don't like her.

[mlerose]

I like my mom. I don't especially like her boyfriend, but he makes her happy and that's what matters. My dad can go fuck himself.

[iampunha]

I pity them.

[Elyanna]

Yep, they're my friends. Have our differences from time to time but I like 'em and love 'em.

[Zombies!]

I like my parents well enough. They're not my friends but I don't hate them and I don't feel obligated to see them, I like to see them every couple of weeks or so. My mum helped me a lot when my ex was sick, so in that regard I am sort of obligated to help her some ways I wouldn't normally, but it's there's not any real sense of "I have to do this", just that I want to make things easier for her while my stepdad's so ill.

My stepdad and my stepmum I like as well. They're good people.

[Anacanapuna]

I adored Mom and Pop and miss them terribly.

[KidVermicious]

Loved my mom, and miss her. I never got along with Dad when I was under his roof, but our relationship is great now, and I head home to see him and the fam a couple times a year.

[SmartAleq]

Mom's okay and I love her but both my parents were, at best, uninvolved in my life to the point of negligence so we don't really know each other that well and she's not really interested in keeping the relationship going. Dad's an asshole and I haven't spoken to him in over 20 years.

[Who_me?]

Love my father. He's a great guy and has been there for me my whole life. He's not perfect, but then, no one is.

My mother, on the other hand, is okay. I love her, but I can't discuss anything with her unless I agree with her. She ruined my youngest brother's first and best relationship because she didn't like the girl. My mother is so upset that I'm an atheist that we cannot discuss the matter anymore. I went three years one time where we didn't talk at all. But what's funny is that when we're all together, both my brothers, my sister, my sister's kids... I'm the one irritated by her the least. My step-father once told me and my middle brother that one of the reasons he still works at 78 is that he needs breaks from her once in a while. He loves her and she loves him, but he can't be 10 minutes out of her sight without her missing him enough to go looking for him.

[Caerie]

I loved my father, but resent him to this day. He feared treatment for his schizophrenia ruining his creativity, and so actively chose his illness over everyone else in his life and, ultimately, life itself.

I love and like my mother. We don't see eye to eye on everything and there are many things I can't talk to her about, but I could say that about every person I've ever known. Comparing our conversational limits to those other people have with their parents, I'd say we're fairly open. She hasn't been a perfect parent and has let me down in a few major ways, but she's done everything she's capable of.

[wring]

My dad: respected his talent. loved him. He made it difficult for anyone to like him.

My mom: respected her talent. loved her. Her alcoholism made it difficult to be around her, ultimately caused her death.

[jasper kent]

Who me said: "My mother, on the other hand, is okay. I love her, but I can't discuss anything with her unless I agree with her."

Who me, are you my long lost brother? We seem to have the same mother.

[bufftabby]

My parents are awesome.

[Solfy]

Yeah, my parents are cool.

[taters]

I love my mother, but I find I can't spend any length of time with her due to her negativity and constant carping. It wears me out. I know she loves me and wants to spend more time with me, but I have to limit it.

I love and like my Dad and stepmother. We all value our privacy and alone time, but when we get together we have a great time and share a lot of laughs.

[Khampelf]

I love my Mom, but she lives in another state, we talk maybe twice a year and that suits both of us fine. She's just not the motherly type, and probably wouldn't have had kids, given her druthers. She and my Dad divorced when I was 13.

Making 15 not a good age to get a step mom who wanted to be much more active and involved, which came across as controlling and overbearing. Her parenting style was 180° from what I was used to. You can tell me "I wish you wouldn't do that." and I'll never do it again. Screaming at me for doing something I had no idea you didn't like the first time you notice it is ... unnecessary to say the least, and rather cruel to me.

After college I spent five years not talking to them, they had no idea where I was. We reconciled, very lo-key, that time is simply not talked about. Dad and step-mom live in the same metro area, and we each other a couple of times a year, and talk a few times a month.

Seems I've been blessed with a family that's easy to love at a distance.

[leafrog]

My parents are awesome, I love them both very much. They both came from humble, poor, farm families in the mid-west, and worked very hard at blue-collar jobs (diesel mechanic and school cook) to provide for their four children. The only expectation they had for us was to find happiness in our own lives.
They're celebrating their 55th anniversary this year, and live on a nice acre out in the country.

I live about 5 hours away from them, and don't visit or call as much as I should.

[Carolia]

I adore my parents. My dad was the good kind of crazy, and while he could drive me up a wall, he was fun to be around, relentlessly positive, even when he was dying. I miss him every day.

I like just hanging out with my mom. Now that she lives here, I see her most days. She's full of stories about people and has a wonderful sarcastic sense of humor. I can sit for hours and talk to her and it never gets old.

[Tug]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

I adored Mom and Pop and miss them terribly.

Agreed.

[jali]

Originally Posted by Tug

Agreed.

Me too.

[Radical Edward]

My mom is a lazy, habitual liar and a control freak who abandoned me to be raised by elderly grandmas and aunts while she partied with a string of worthless drug-abusing boyfriends. My dad was an alcoholic who had lived a very tragic life and I don't think he really had it in him to be a parent. I don't like either one of them, but I am much more forgiving of my dad than of my mom.

[Jaglavak]

Both my parents are jake with me. Any little problems are minor compared to the debt I owe for my stable comfortable childhood.

[GreyCloud9]

Mom growing up was either mentally ill or over medicated. Dad was usually drunk. It is a shame really. Mom is an intelligent, educated person who I could learn a lot from. Dad is a very sensitive individual who gave me the love for nature and agriculture. I guess what I am saying is that I love them, but would like them a whole bunch more if they could just somehow rise above it. (yes I know that is easier said than done when dealing with mental illness and alcoholism)
Edit: They live in town, and at the moment are living in a hardship situation of their own creation. I help them out when my own drama doesn't swallow me whole. I have my own daughter that I really need to put first.

[Lungfish]

My parents are good people. I see them every 2 or 3 days as I live 5 minutes away from them. I don't stay long just enough to say "hello". Dad gets me to do errands for him as he doesn't want to leave Mum alone due to her health issues for any length of time and I am happy to do them. Despite that it's fair to say that I am not close to them and I don't talk to them about anything.

[AuntiePam]

Originally Posted by taters

I love my mother, but I find I can't spend any length of time with her due to her negativity and constant carping. It wears me out. I know she loves me and wants to spend more time with me, but I have to limit it.

My mom was like that. It got worse after my stepdad died. She's not the whole reason we left Seattle, but if she'd been less demanding and judgmental, it would have been more difficult to leave.

She was a good one to have on your side though; she didn't take shit from anybody. And boy, could she hold a grudge.

[Zeener Diode]

It's just mom now. After 30 years, she still worries about me being on my own.

Mom rocks.

[chloes1]

Not my mother. She's truly narcissistic and currently thoroughly enjoys her poor health.

My father yes, I live at home to help him care for her; she's a tetraplegic.

[Knee]

My mom is my hero. I love her, respect her, like her, could go on at length.

Never met my biological father and the few interactions I've had with him long-distance indicate he wants nothing to do with me.

Not on speaking terms with "legal" father (signed my birth certificate, giving me his last name, then he and mom split up. Tried to be a part time dad. Years later things finally deteriorated to this point.)

I love my "ex stepdad," the man who raised me and is called "Daddy." There are some very major things I have a hard time forgiving him for but he did his best.

My stepdad is a hard man to like but I do like him. He came into my mother's life too late for me to love him as a parent but I do love him in a generalized family way. I trust and respect him as well.

I realize I mentioned five parents. It's a long story.

[Glazer]

Mom died when I was five. Don't really remember much about her.

Dad remarried when I was seven. Hate my step mom always have. And she hates me, as well as my Mom, due to history between them both and my Dad. History, I knew nothing about until much later.

Respect my Dad but didn't really know him well. He wasn't easy to get to know. And he wasn't around much, on the road a lot. The tension between me and my step mom didn't help matters either. After I turned Eighteen he told me I was grown now and no grown man was going to come between him and his wife like I did so I had to go.

I joined the Army and after six months I quit calling home. Haven't spoke to any one in my family since 'Eighty Four.

[Katriona]

I can tolerate and be polite to my parents for short amounts of time. We have absolutely nothing in common and if I didn't look so much like all the women in my mom's family, I'd wonder if there's something they forgot to tell me.

[Turing Complete]

I both like and love my parents. Although to be fair, they make it really easy to do so.

[Queen Tonya]

I love my parents, and we have a pretty close relationship. They moved a few hundred miles away after retiring and stay at my house every time they come to town for family gatherings or holidays, at least every other month. I don't think we like each other very much, outside of the familial bonds and shared history, we're very different people. But I love them and they love us and it's pretty easy and uncomplicated and I appreciate that.

[MsRobyn]

My father and I get along fairly well. He's been relatively easy to talk to and doesn't judge all that much.

My mother, on the other hand, is a piece of work. She's what you might call a "maven", but in the ironic sense, not the literal one. She has advice about everything, whether she's ever done it or experienced it or not, and what she doesn't know, she makes up. She's a fount of bad advice; if you follow any of it, you deserve what you get.

And she's manipulative. She's been trying to get me to move back to Texas and bring her grandson with me since we moved to Pennsylvania almost ten years ago, but she's stopped asking directly and resorted to guilt and temper tantrums. Thanks to therapy, the guilt is no longer working, and that's making her crazy. So it's a win in my column!

[Khampelf]

MsRobyn, I've heard that type described as "Often wrong, but never uncertain."

Khampelf strives to hand out bon mots like bon bons.

[Doyle]

Originally Posted by Tug

Agreed.

Same here.

[Uthrecht]

I love my parents and miss them both, but that's because they're in Hawaii for the rest of the week.

No, wait, maybe I hate them. I'm conflicted.

[snicklefritz]

I love my parents. They've given me everything they could but now it's time for me to fly. That's not to say that if my wings were broken that I couldn't go back and seek help - but they've pretty much accepted that I live 800 miles away and will travel back to PA to see them when funds and vacation are available. My parents are both in their late 70's so I know in my heart they won't be around forever, it's just I'm not ready to let them go. :P