First World Problems

[Chacoguy]

The battery in my key fob died and I had to manually put the key in the lock to open my car.

[Burnt Toast]

I had a rental car a few months ago that didn't have automatic headlights. I had to turn them on & off by myself. I could have strained a finger muscle!

[Atalanta]

My esthetician doesn't work Mondays. So even though the spa is open tomorrow, I can't get a facial and herbal body wrap.

I'm losing so much weight my pants are becoming loose and I don't feel like shopping.

[Guinastasia]

Whoever designed the lid on my coffee creamer did a shitty job, because you have to wrap a towel around it when you shake it, because it leaks.

[Atalanta]

Good one Guin. I like it.

The Biofreeze is burning my skin.

[DogMom]

I spilled my mocha shake!

[MsWisher]

I hate sites that are smart enough to know that I'm coming from a mobile device and offer me their app but not smart enough to know that I HAVE the damn app but I clicked a link and if I launch the app I need to search around for the info instead of going right where I want to.

[LurkMeister]

I replaced my porch light with one that had dusk and motion sensors so if I go out while it's daylight and don't expect to get back until after dark I don't have to decide between having to walk up the stairs and unlocking the door in the dark or leaving the light on in daytime, announcing to everyone passing by that I'm not home. Except I found out two things: the light sensor is shaded by the porch roof so that it always thinks that it's night, and the motion sensor doesn't detect motion at sidewalk level unless I have the sensitivity set to maximum, which because the wall it's mounted on is at an angle makes it also turn on when people walk up to the other half of my duplex.

[sturmhauke]

They changed some network configurations at my work yesterday, so I have to adjust some of my applications and possibly rearrange the placement of my computers and monitors.

[Antonio]

The new version of tapatalk is ugly.

Sent from my telex.

[sturmhauke]

I had to change my work password and now I keep using the old one the first time, every time.

[THespos]

There was a chance DHL could deliver my new cocktail table multicade by Friday, in time for the weekend. Alas, someone botched the shipping and it won't get here until Monday.

[Atalanta]

My new kittens are entirely too cute and making me not want to go to work.

[Chacoguy]

My dog stepped in dog poo at the dog park.

[THespos]

Originally Posted by Chacoguy

My dog stepped in dog poo at the dog park.

That's better than you stepping in human poo at Starbuck's or something...

[McNutty]

Originally Posted by THespos

That's better than you stepping in human poo at Starbuck's or something...

Is it wrong that this post immediately made me ponder which Starbuck's this was most likely to happen at (3rd & Pike, for the record)?

[Lungfish]

My mouse doesn't work. Have to use my BB or tablet to use the interwebs.

Sent by carrier pigeon.

[sturmhauke]

I have to use one computer to work on the PHP code and another to test the HTTP requests and responses, because of the way my work networks are configured. I also have two separate codebases to worry about just for this one task.

[LurkMeister]

The down-arrow key on my netbook stopped working a few weeks ago. Every other key works fine, but not being able to just tap the one key to scroll down a page has been driving me nuts.

[JoanieBaloney]

I have been without heat for the last 24 hrs. Thank God it's back just in time for the World Series. Loaded Nachos is a dish best served warm.

[jali]

I can't get the battery out of my add-on mouse for my laptop and I bent a fork last night trying to get it out.

I have to use the scroll pad.

[Guinastasia]

I just lost twenty pounds and now none of my clothes fit.

[Jaglavak]

That could be a third world problem too, depending.

[sturmhauke]

I hate when baseball fans call themselves "gamers". A gamer is someone who plays a lot of games, not someone who watches games.

[Chacoguy]

The 'Low' heat setting on my slow cooker is too high, I have to keep switching it to 'Warm'.

Oh, the Humanity!

[The Devil's Grandmother]

The Candy Fairy has permitted the snack dish at the office to go near-empty. I now have a better understanding of my cat's behaviour.

[Antonio]

There's a bunch of assholes on my Facebook with Giraffes in their display picture. As best I can tell, none of them own this website.

Sent from my telex.

[Dragonlady]

Those are the losers!

[Nisslbody]

There are four teenagers in my basement and they're laughing far too loudly.

[Dirty Old Uncle Roger]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

There are four teenagers in my basement and they're laughing far too loudly.

There are 4 postmen in my basement, and they don't make any noise at all.

[Nisslbody]

Originally Posted by Dirty Old Uncle Roger

There are 4 postmen in my basement, and they don't make any noise at all.

[Nisslbody]

That reminds me of this one time, I worked with this guy Grant who lived on Gay St. (also Grant was gay, but that's beside the point other than the degree of pure joy it brought us) and I used to drive him home after work. One summer, though, his neighborhood took on a funk, and after about a week it was such a strong funk that even with the windows closed, it was intolerable. He was freaking out about it, and then one day his street was cordoned off. Rather than go to his house, I took him to his boyfriend's house.

Turned out, the house next door had a party, and somebody OD'd. Rather than CALL AN AMBULANCE, the neighbors took the body down to the basement and tried to burn it. After failing miserably, they wrapped it in a carpet and stuck it in a corner. Eventually the smell led someone in the neighborhood to complain to the police, who traced it to the house.

Moral: if you have nearby neighbors, you should probably keep quicklime on hand.

[Swivels]

I had to go digging through my freezer to look for some leftovers that had gotten buried, and my fingers started to go numb.

[jali]

Antonio called me an asshole.

[Lungfish]

I burnt my toast.

[Nisslbody]

I'm trying to study but keep getting interrupted by package deliveries.

[JackieLikesVariety]

my dogs have fleas and the rest of my life is sufficiently good that I am pretty grossed out by knowing this*.







*I have yet to actually see any of them but am told I need to vacuum anyway

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Originally Posted by JackieLikesVariety

my dogs have fleas ... I have yet to actually see any of them

So how do you know they have them? Did they tell you themselves?

Originally Posted by JackieLikesVariety

... am told I need to vacuum anyway

OK, I'm calling bullshit. Talking dogs I can buy, but the vacuum? There's no way any dog would tell anybody they need to vacuum. :watch:

[Dirty Old Uncle Roger]

Originally Posted by JackieLikesVariety

my dogs have fleas and the rest of my life is sufficiently good that I am pretty grossed out by knowing this*.







*I have yet to actually see any of them but am told I need to vacuum anyway

Vacuum fleas off of dog.
Blow fleas out of vacuum bag into fishbowl.
Nothing gets wasted around here.

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by Pons Nisslbody

That reminds me of this one time, I worked with this guy Grant who lived on Gay St. (also Grant was gay, but that's beside the point other than the degree of pure joy it brought us) and I used to drive him home after work. One summer, though, his neighborhood took on a funk, and after about a week it was such a strong funk that even with the windows closed, it was intolerable. He was freaking out about it, and then one day his street was cordoned off. Rather than go to his house, I took him to his boyfriend's house.

Turned out, the house next door had a party, and somebody OD'd. Rather than CALL AN AMBULANCE, the neighbors took the body down to the basement and tried to burn it. After failing miserably, they wrapped it in a carpet and stuck it in a corner. Eventually the smell led someone in the neighborhood to complain to the police, who traced it to the house.

Moral: if you have nearby neighbors, you should probably keep quicklime on hand.

Oh man, that's both hysterical and disgusting.

Lesson for the day: you can't burn a body in a regular fire -- it's just not hot enough. Even in a crematorium, you're still going to have some particles of bone and such.

[sturmhauke]

Obviously they should have eaten it.

[Jaglavak]

I have a bunch of left over Halloween candy that I can't stop eating.

[JackieLikesVariety]

my concord grapes have seeds in them; this is so inconvenient.

[Nisslbody]

I have too much leftover party food and drink to fit in my refrigerator.

[sturmhauke]

I partied a little too hard last night.

[Antonio]

Originally Posted by sturmhauke

I partied a little too hard last night.

I think I'm starting to get the hang of this, and I'd like to point out that even poor people party! Just, you know, not necessarily at a club.

[Lungfish]

I ate the last of the ice cream in the fridge.

[Harry]

Originally Posted by Lungfish

I ate the last of the ice cream in the fridge.

Certainly a crisis of Biblical proportions if ever I have heard of one!

[The Futility of Nihilism]

1. Took the car in for routine maintenance.
2. Something's wrong with the steering. Goodbye $1500. FUUUUUUUUUUUU
3. Oh hey, I know you've had a tough day, says the Cable Box, so I'm going to die. Just the video part, though, so you can still listen. That's cool, right?

[JackieLikesVariety]

Fritz really, really, really doesn't want me to brush his teeth. (Sammie is a Good Boy and lets me.)