Get your driving gripes off your chest here...

[Revs]

Dear local police and county sheriffs,

When there is an accident at an intersection and you have to block off lanes of traffic on heavily traveled multi-lane roads how about you direct traffic a little bit rather than just standing there and watching cars almost smack into each other. Also some flares or something would be a nice heads up instead of suddenly finding a cop car parked across two lanes.

[Fish]

This is hardly Pit-worthy, but I'd like to see a yellow stripe on the road near every traffic signal. It should be painted at a distance away from the light, the distance to be based on the speed limit of the road and timed to the duration of the yellow transition light.

Basically, the yellow line says "if you're past this line when the light turns yellow, and you're doing the speed limit, you'll make it through the light. If you're not, you won't."

[DogMom]

Dear waaay too many people to individually mention:
I will not be your BearBait. If you're driving 5 under the speed limit and I pull out to the left lane to pass you, don't suddenly speed up to match or exceed my speed, then slow back down once I get behind you again.
And if I get ahead of you instead, don't speed up to 10 mph or so over the speed limit and start riding my ass and honking and flashing your lights to tell me to get out of your way. You don't like me being in front of you? Tough shit, go the speed limit, dickwilt.

[Solfy]

Dear Asshole in the silver truck with the Nascar #9 plate:

I'm so impressed at the size of your testicles! You are clearly such a big, important man with big, important places to be! That has to be the reason you flew up on my ass going down the off-ramp from the turnpike. I'm sorry I had the gall to drive in your left hand lane going east on Rt 22. I bet you were really glad you shot out around me in the right hand land only to cut back in front of me to squeeze into the same left-turn lane I was headed towards. Did it make your dick hard to be first in line at the red light? I bet it did. You're such a fucking stud. You got there two seconds earlier than I did, and that makes YOU the WINNER.
I'm impressed.
VROOOOM!

[Amythyst]

Originally Posted by DogMom

3. However, Points #1 and #2 do not invalidate the fact that you have a Stop Sign and I do not. Those things aren't optional if they have a white border, or if nobody's coming, or if you don't feel like stopping or if you're in a hurry or for any reason at all. Therefore, STOP at the Stop Sign, you effing bastard.

Many of my coworkers seem to regard STOP signs as suggestions rather than requirements. I can't tell you how many times I've almost been hit because a coworker decided to coast through an intersection near the office.

[Dirx]

If my little 4-cylinder, happy-meal-toy of a car can go from 20 to 65 by the time I reach the end of the onramp, so can your mustang. It's the long skinny pedal on the right--try using it next time.

[DogMom]

2 from this week, one of which I was reminded of by Dirx:

1. Please do not slow down when merging onto the freeway. Especially when you were already going about 35 mph, and the speed on the freeway is 65. The 3 lanes on the freeway are going at least 65, so MOVE YOUR ARSE.

2. Mister Truck Driver, I pulled out from the right lane (behind you) to the left lane in order to pass you. You were going 60 mph in a 70 zone. After I passed you, but before I got back into the right lane, the speed limit dropped to 65. There was plenty of room in the right-hand lane in front of you - or there would have been if you didn't decide you suddenly needed to go 75 mph. I passed you correctly, I inserted myself in the right-hand lane correctly, and there was still plenty of room in front of you. Was the fact that your truck was passed by a little Ford Focus threatening to your manhood or something? Is that why you suddenly speeded up when I tried to get back into the Right Lane?
2a. Also, there was no need to suddenly stomp on the gas until you were practically running me over, flip on your high-beams, jerk your truck into the left lane, and then get even with me and start "drifting" back into my lane. You're an ass. And you're probably high. I hope you get pulled over before you injure or kill someone, and not after.

[Revs]

Whoever decided to put a stop light next to the sewage treatment plant is a fucking sadist. Nothing like the scent of raw shit roasting in the sun while you're waiting at a light.

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by Revs

Whoever decided to put a stop light next to the sewage treatment plant is a fucking sadist. Nothing like the scent of raw shit roasting in the sun while you're waiting at a light.

[DogMom]

Dude in the left-hand lane this morning:

There's 3 lanes. You were in the passing lane. This means you are supposed to have more of the GoFast than I do, since I was in the middle lane. You were traveling slower than I was. Not only that, but just as a point of information, you really need to remember these things:

• Check your damn mirrors once in a while. You know, those shiny things mounted to the middle of your windshield and on each door? They show you what's behind you. That's critical information for you, especially today because
• I saw the damn cop car coming up behind you looooong before you did. I would've moved over a lane but the right-hand lane was filled with people entering & exiting the freeway, so I had no room to do so. In fact, you didn't even know he was there until he was riding your ass. One would think that you'd have noticed that he was coming up rapidly, flashing his headlights, had every emergency light on the car lit up and flashing, and was running his siren. You didn't notice any of that till he laid on the horn. Moron.
• When there's a cop haring up behind you, and there's room to get over (which you had), get the fuck over. the middle lane was completely clear behind me, and you had plenty of room to get over.
• What you do not do when a cop comes up behind you is:
  1. Slow Down.
  2. Put on your turn signal for a single blink.
  3. Sloooooowwwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyyy start to drift into the lane to the right of you.
  4. As the cop is trying to pass you, change your mind and drift back into the lane you were ostensibly exiting.
  5. Speed up slightly until you're almost even with my rear bumper.
  6. Slowwwwwwllllyyyy start to drift into my lane again, only this time practically into my car. It's a damn good thing I was paying attention to everything going on behind, around, and in front of me this morning, you jackass.

[Mako]

Originally Posted by DogMom

That reminds me. Back in the early 70s to mid 80s there was a sewage treatment plant in Ft. Lauderdale, near where the I95 crosses over Sunrise Blvd. Everyone I knew used to switch their aircon to recirc for about a mile either side of it.

My dad on the other hand used to lock out the window controls for the rest of us, then drop the windows from his controls, while laughing like a crazy fool. It was...intolerable.

What an ass.

Mind you, this was the same man who used to wind down the passenger windows if he was driving past a poorly set up lawn sprinkler (one that sprays the road) and then slow down, just to soak my step-mom. So maybe he gets a pass for that.

[THespos]

Originally Posted by Mako

My dad on the other hand used to lock out the window controls for the rest of us, then drop the windows from his controls, while laughing like a crazy fool. It was...intolerable.

What an ass.

I love your dad.

[THespos]

Here's a minor one.

Lately, I've been seeing more vehicles with side mirrors that automatically fold in upon command. And lately, as I've pulled up to intersections to make a right turn, I see the mirrors on trucks and cars to my left slowly folding back in.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, jerks. Is this the new passive-aggressive way to express "I have no confidence in your ability to pass me at 2 MPH without taking one of my mirrors with you" or are you just showing off?

[THespos]

Originally Posted by THespos

There's a hugely annoying intersection that's a part of my evening commute, and nobody handles it the right way. There's going to be a monster accident one day.

[Extraneous crap deleted]

Guess who got into the monster accident? Not me, but my brother in law. He takes the same train as I do to NYC, albeit at different times.

A couple weeks ago, he got t-boned at this intersection and totalled his Volvo. He's fine, but of course nobody told me. I found out about it on FB when my sister told the world about the new car her husband was ordering.

I think I'm going to continue to drive my piece of shit big pickup truck to the train station. If I'm going to get t-boned, it might as well be in something huge that's far off the ground. Come to think of it, perhaps a lift kit and some fat tires are in order...

[Mako]

Originally Posted by THespos

I think I'm going to continue to drive my piece of shit big pickup truck to the train station. If I'm going to get t-boned, it might as well be in something huge that's far off the ground. Come to think of it, perhaps a lift kit and some fat tires are in order...

Years ago, my dad bought a battered 1982 ex-police Ford Granada (UK version) for exactly this reason, and exactly that sort of commute. If you're unfamiliar with that model of car, it was German-built and weighed as much as a Panzer.

He said that it's incredibly liberating to let people screw up when your car is worth about $100.

To be clear, I'm not saying he was aggressive or non-defensive in it, just that he was able to smile when someone drove into him through inattention or lack of judgment.

[THespos]

Originally Posted by Mako

To be clear, I'm not saying he was aggressive or non-defensive in it, just that he was able to smile when someone drove into him through inattention or lack of judgment.

Fantastic idea. Really.

I think I just need to balance "Don't really give a shit if someone hits me" with "Will start reliably in the morning during the winter."

[Revs]

Beginner bikers need to get off the road. Today there was a guy in front of me on a newer crotch rocket. The guy would jump off the line at traffic lights but not speed up until we were already halfway to the next light. Also he kept looking down at his foot whenever he changed gears. He was swerving around in his lane so that made it rather difficult to pass him since you can't tell if he's changing lanes or just drifting around. I saw him come within in a hair of getting rear ended when he stopped short at a light. He didn't even notice. And dude, thats a might nice helmet you have there, maybe you should try putting it on your head instead of letting it hang on the back of your bike. Just sayin' that if you want to ride like a cock you should take some safety precautions.

The guy in the Air Force uniform on a crotch rocket put him to shame. Mr. Wild Blue Yonder didn't swerve around, smoothly started off the line at lights and sped up to stay with the flow of traffic and would smoothly come to a stop at red lights. Also he signaled his lane changes and was wearing a helmet. Now that's how it's done. Driving with those two on the road today was like watching a right way/wrong way instructional video on proper motorcycle riding.


Once again I have to say, that wet stuff that falls from the sky is called rain. As long as you are careful driving and can see there is no reason to drive 15 under the speed limit. Hell it was even a sun shower so no visibility problems there.

[Chacoguy]

Do Not stop in the middle of the highway to let the J-walkers cross. There is a reason that J-walking is illegal.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Man, don't you hate people who show off their l33t parking skillz?

[Mako]

Originally Posted by Revs

Once again I have to say, that wet stuff that falls from the sky is called rain. As long as you are careful driving and can see there is no reason to drive 15 under the speed limit. Hell it was even a sun shower so no visibility problems there.

Oh lord this. Over here people seem to take their brains out when the Mysterious Water falls from the sky.

I get it that there's a need for more caution in the wet because the laws of physics won't be cheated. But driving 15 under and staring straight ahead with a vice-like deathgrip on the steering wheel and changing lanes blindly because you're too scared to take your eyes off the windshield and look at your mirrors Does. Not. Cut. It. You fucking ignoramus.

That goes for you too, you frumpy, self-righteous buggerfucktwat in the VW Sharan who nearly sideswiped me earlier. You even got yourself a two-fer; driving like a you're a lobotomy patient with tunnel vision in the rain, and then acting like that flashing yellow light on the side of your car means you can just cut in whenever you feel like it.

The mock 'outraged' look you gave me after I leaned on the horn would have been more justified had I just lifted your dowdy blouse over your head and squeezed your tits through your bra. But you know you'd done wrong, you know how close to a crash you were, so don't come the victim when you're called up on your shitty lane management. You detestable fucking brood-mare.

Oh and by the way, your terrified kids were as ugly as you.

Okay I'm done.

[Khampelf]

Mako for traffic commissioner!

Violation for violators!

[THespos]

Not a gripe, but driving-related anyway...

They ripped up the road that runs behind my house. That is, not your typical asphalt resurfacing shit where they take the top couple inches off. They went down to the dirt.

So now there's a 500' stretch of dirt road behind my house, and I am NOT resisting the childish urge to do donuts while no one is looking.

That is all.

[GoSmoke]

Quit fucking taking up two spaces at the grocery store with your crappy rice burner. Just stop it already.

[DogMom]

To the person in front of me today:
Do you see any stop signs, red lights or even yield sign? No? That's because this is the entrance ramp to the freeway, not Meander Lane, you moron. You don't wander down the entrance ramp to the freeway at a top speed of 25 mph, then at the bottom of the ramp decide that "oh, look, those cars are going much faster than I am" and then slam on your brakes and come to a full stop. What you DO is you fricking speed up, so that you're at about the same speed they are. Fuckstick. If you're going to drive like a brain-damaged slug then don't use the fucking freeway.

[Thin Mint]

Californian here. I'm on my way to Seattle. So stay in the right lane and stay the hell out of my way... here I come!

[Doyle]

Nobody participated in my LSU-Bama poll. Sometimes I think I'm in the wrong place.

[THespos]

Yesterday, some douche decided to pull up to the red light with half his car in the right-turn lane, effectively blocking anyone who wanted to make a right on red. I got a dirty look and a horn honk when I pulled up next to him with two wheels on the curb and made the turn anyway.

God, I love trucks.

[KidVermicious]

Originally Posted by THespos

Yesterday, some douche decided to pull up to the red light with half his car in the right-turn lane, effectively blocking anyone who wanted to make a right on red. I got a dirty look and a horn honk when I pulled up next to him with two wheels on the curb and made the turn anyway.

God, I love trucks.

[insert obligatory TimTheToolManTaylor caveman grunt here]

[THespos]

I forgot my phone this morning, and so turned around during my morning drive to go retrieve it. Got to the house, ran inside to get my phone and started driving back to the train station.

This is precisely the kind of situation where accidents happen. The roads were slick with wet leaves, I was in a rush and it was in the early morning when drivers aren't paying as much attention as they should.

Got caught behind a guy in a Suburban who, for some unknown reason decided to STOP right in the middle of the road. He started moving lazily to the left and I though he was going to turn into a driveway on the left. I realized (almost too late) that he was doing the 'swing out to the left, then turn right' thing into another driveway.

No turn signals, no warning on the random stop in the middle of the street, and no ability to make a right hand turn with his beast of an SUV without swinging wildly to the left first.

Gah! I drive a big pickup truck, so I know how frustrating it can be to have a turning radius that doesn't accommodate the tight turns a sports car can make, but shit - at least use your turn signal first. And don't stop in the middle of the road leaving no indication to the folks behind you of what you might be doing.

[Rebo]

I got rear ended a couple of weeks ago, while sitting first in line at a red light. I was about to turn right-on-red, my signal was on, I was scootching up so I could see oncoming traffic, and I stopped. Because there was a car coming.

Asshole behind me rammed me.

We got out, and I'm all "WTF?" - and he says, "I thought you went."

What a maroon. At least he had good insurance. I have my car back from the shop and everything is ok, and no one was hurt at least. But WTF? What the hell was he looking at?

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Originally Posted by Dolores Reborn

But WTF? What the hell was he looking at?

Text message.

[Uthrecht]

Originally Posted by Dolores Reborn

What the hell was he looking at?

He got confused because you did that thing where you turn left a little before turning right.

[Dragonlady]

He was mesmerized by your turn signal.

[Scuba Ben]

Originally Posted by Dragonlady

He was mesmerized by your turn signal.

Maybe he had never seen one in operation before?

[They call me Tater]

Okay, at the stoplight, you are supposed to stop at the big f'ing white line. Not at the crosswalk!! Jiminy Crickets, how hard is this. An intersection near my house will absolutely not give the left turn lane a lead if you are sitting way the f over the line. It only senses your vehicle if you are sitting OVER the sensor.

Dumbass.

[KidVermicious]

Word, new guy. The bastards that like to ignore the limit line are especially annoying when you're trying to make a left turn across their nose.

[KidVermicious]

My gripe:

Yes, dear, it's great that you bumped the guy in front of you and scratched your paint. Mmm hmm, it's just awful, and I'm sure he was at fault for stopping when you weren't paying attention. Now guys, if you don't mind, will you PLEASE PULL YOUR FUCKING CARS OFF TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD??? Neither of your vehicles is damaged at all, let alone incapacitated, and the damned cops don't need to recreate the scene of the fucking crime. I, however, need to get home so I can hide behind my four walls and pretend that brain-dead cretins like you aren't in my reality, and you are stopping me from reaching that goal, so GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.

Thanks ever so.

[KidVermicious]

Originally Posted by Fish

This is hardly Pit-worthy, but I'd like to see a yellow stripe on the road near every traffic signal. It should be painted at a distance away from the light, the distance to be based on the speed limit of the road and timed to the duration of the yellow transition light.

Basically, the yellow line says "if you're past this line when the light turns yellow, and you're doing the speed limit, you'll make it through the light. If you're not, you won't."

Here in Utah, if you pass the limit line before the light is red, you own the intersection until you're clear. There is no law against stacking up in an intersection, or racing to beat the yellow. When you start driving here you learn real quicklike not to bother timing the greens - you'll be coming to a stop anyway to yield the intersection to the jackass that did what would be called "running a red light" in any other state.

[Taur]

Originally Posted by Fish

Basically, the yellow line says "if you're past this line when the light turns yellow, and you're doing the speed limit, you'll make it through the light. If you're not, you won't."

Here, the green WALK signal will start flashing about 10 seconds before the traffic light changes to red.

[THespos]

Originally Posted by KidVermicious

I, however, need to get home so I can hide behind my four walls and pretend that brain-dead cretins like you aren't in my reality, and you are stopping me from reaching that goal, so GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.

Love this. Made me smile. Thank you.

[Clothahump]

I've had this happen enough to where I think it's a trend. Person on the sidewalk approaching an entrance to a shopping center. Car getting ready to turn into said entrance. Pedestrian blithely walks across entrance, then stops and gives the driver the attitude stare when they dare to honk at the bozo pedestrian to wake him up.

I mean, just stand there in front of the car and glare instead of hauling ass out of the way. It's like they are trying to get hit so they can sue the driver or some other lame-ass idea.

[Solfy]

As of last night, Coworker's car has been hit five times in less than two years.
He's been rear-ended four times, and last night he was travelling in the right lane when a police car came up behind, lights and sirens going. The woman in the left lane pulled over, right into the side of coworker's car.

Oh, and Brother got hit a couple of weeks ago. Woman ran through a stop sign at a 4-way intersection and t-boned his 6 month old car. Quoth woman, "I didn't see your car because it's dark blue."

[picunurse]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

I've had this happen enough to where I think it's a trend. Person on the sidewalk approaching an entrance to a shopping center. Car getting ready to turn into said entrance. Pedestrian blithely walks across entrance, then stops and gives the driver the attitude stare when they dare to honk at the bozo pedestrian to wake him up.

I mean, just stand there in front of the car and glare instead of hauling ass out of the way. It's like they are trying to get hit so they can sue the driver or some other lame-ass idea.

One can be Dead right.

[Taur]

Originally Posted by THespos

I got a dirty look and a horn honk when I pulled up next to him with two wheels on the curb and made the turn anyway.

That's illegal and you're part of the problem, Hespos.

Originally Posted by Clothahump

Pedestrian blithely walks across entrance

It's pedestrians who have the right-of-way on sidewalks and it's the vehicles that need to yield to them when they want to drive over said sidewalk to enter a parking lot. If I saw a pedestrian blithely walking on a sidewalk and about to cross the apron/entrance, it's my responsibility as a driver to wait for them on the road with my signal on until they have crossed over.

And the glares? Well, I give those out when drivers continue to creep onto the apron while I'm still in it, trying to hurry me out the way.

[Mako]

Originally Posted by Board Taurus

That's illegal and you're part of the problem, Hespos.

It's pedestrians who have the right-of-way on sidewalks and it's the vehicles that need to yield to them when they want to drive over said sidewalk to enter a parking lot. If I saw a pedestrian blithely walking on a sidewalk and about to cross the apron/entrance, it's my responsibility as a driver to wait for them on the road with my signal on until they have crossed over.

And the glares? Well, I give those out when drivers continue to creep onto the apron while I'm still in it, trying to hurry me out the way.

On the other hand, it's widely known that the slowest-moving creature on the planet isn't the 3-toed sloth. It's a teenager crossing the road in front of a car. Glaring at it.

::EDIT:: Cut extraneous stuff that might be misinterpreted.

[Swivels]

Originally Posted by Board Taurus

It's pedestrians who have the right-of-way on sidewalks and it's the vehicles that need to yield to them when they want to drive over said sidewalk to enter a parking lot. If I saw a pedestrian blithely walking on a sidewalk and about to cross the apron/entrance, it's my responsibility as a driver to wait for them on the road with my signal on until they have crossed over.

And the glares? Well, I give those out when drivers continue to creep onto the apron while I'm still in it, trying to hurry me out the way.

Exactly. I'm also getting pissed off at drivers around here who keep pushing the amber further and further, until they're flat out running lights. There's one intersection near my work that really scares me, and I nearly got run over in the crosswalk earlier today because some idiot decided that she still had time to make her left turn even though the advance left signal had long since ended, oncoming traffic had a green, and pedestrians had a walk signal. The sad thing is, even though I'm careful not to dress like a ninja on dark rainy nights, I'm quite sure she didn't even notice me and has absolutely no idea how close she came to hitting me.

[THespos]

Originally Posted by Board Taurus

That's illegal and you're part of the problem, Hespos.

Oh Gawd... If doing things that are merely illegal makes me part of the problem...

[Taur]

Merely illegal?

Originally Posted by THespos

My thoughts exactly.

[THespos]

Rather than turn this into a pissing match, I'll just admit to being a part of the problem and let Board Taurus flame me if he/she feels my actions merit such a thing.

Also, I like doing donuts in the street outside my in-laws' house.

[KidVermicious]

I'm not sure what problem you're a part of, THespos, but screw that shithead. If he doesn't want people driving around him like that, he should pay better attention to how many lanes he's in.